I don't remember kissing
you,
I must have made it up in my mind
We stood outside my front porch, hand on the ****
Your eyes wrapped around my belt loops, fingers wavering
I smiled and said "this is my stop"
Between puffs of cigarette smoke
The flies caught between door and screen
I waited but half a second, sad smile waning
Blood dripping into my glass shoes
Unseen,
Were the erratic poems underlining all my nerves
You reached for me
Hand on my shoulder, questions on your breath
My mouth answering back yes,
We're going to take this step
As you leaned in the angry voices in my head drowned out
By the music of your soul beside mine
But the spell broke, somehow
We'll never be entwined
And the secrets got out, somehow
Then you left me behind
So though I know we've kissed many times,
The first and last so vivid
The histories written in my fingertips don't recount living on your flesh
So I don't remember kissing
you,
Or how to return to a life without you in it.