really ******* hard
to make you laugh and smile
and make you want to see me again.
I feel like though
that smile of yours
was fake
and that laugh
that made my body shiver
and my insides nice
was a lie to send daggers down my spine
and you don't care
because some ***** who didn't deserve you
hurt you.

So you can't take a chance
and see that I would be there for you
and now I'm the hurt one
and you don't care.

You made me
feel like a human being
a man with painted nails
weird clothing and loud quirky personality.
Felt like home that you
smiled and held my arm
and made me feel human
not like the freakshow was open for business.
I felt normal
just for a moment.

Now you make me feel like
I was bit by a snake
that entangled my heart and squeezed it just enough to hurt
when you let go.

At first
I felt like you would be someone
that I could at least ****
and it'd be fun
but as we talked and I learned more and more about you.
I realized I wanted to date and be boyfriends
because you are so amazing
and different
and hurt.
You look like you needed someone in your life that was willing to hold your hand and kiss your cheek.
You met someone willing to do that
but retaliated by
biting his neck and draining all his blood.