here's what's going to happen.
we will sleep together
a few nights a week
for a few months.
we will talk on the phone
and our conversations will be
brief -- just to hear
each other's voice
at least once
every 36 hours.
we will get incredibly drunk
and we will believe
we miss each other
but we really won't
and we will believe
we are in love
and perhaps we are --
but after those months,
I will get used to
the crack in your voice
when you talk about
your family
and you will get used
to the way I cry
over films with
or without
happy endings.
your smile won't mean
as much
and there will be few
surprises
and love will have become
a habit -- and we won't
notice it anymore
even though it is
still there, sitting
at the coffee table
or between us in the bed.
we will amount
to nothing --
but I don't mind.

i want to let my hair grow long and tangled
and weave flowers and moss between the strands
so i can feel like i'm a part of something living.
i want to learn to love my broken vessel
the way i love the wild.

i want to sink my hands in rocky riverbeds
and feel every kind of earth between my toes.
i want to learn the constellations
so i can point at pictures in the night sky
and not feel so alone.

i want to paint myself
in mud and freedom
and scream in my own voice,
triumph ringing through the trees.

i want to bask in the sunshine and radiate
light and strength and wholeness,
absorbing beauty and reflecting it back into the world
in new arrangements.

i will climb high and
sing loud and
march on and
fly,
until at last i can sink back
in well-earned exhaustion,
hallelujah seeping from my skin.

I can see it in your eyes
The fear of getting too close
You hide it well
With your playful smile and gentle touches
You convince people that you’re okay
But I can see that you’re not
I can smell it
You shine like the sun
But the sun is destined to burn out, right?
You know it, too
You try and hold off your destruction
By shutting people out
But that won’t help
I know you’ve been hurt
Abandoned by the ones you love
Left to figure things out on your own
But don’t hide behind your strength
Let it define you
I know you’re afraid
That the blackness inside of you
Will scare everyone away
But the ones that stay
Are the ones that count
You’ve been left alone before, I know
But you can’t expect
Every new man in your life to do the same
Some will, I can’t deny that
But you will never find the man who will stick around
If you don’t allow yourself to see him
Lift your head up, sweetheart
Wipe your tears
Shed your fears
And let everyone see the light in you
I promise that it will outshine the darkness
What do I know, right?
I’m just a teenager
But don’t let outward appearances fool you
Because somewhere hidden
To the naked eye
Are the same secrets and scars
That you see branded on your skin
And if you take the chance
To look close enough
You’ll see mine, too