You asked me what all my scars meant
Well, my love, I've spent years of my life self loathing
This big one right here is from the months I fell to sleep wishing I'd never wake up
And the numerous ones right here are from all the times I've felt inadequate
And these scarlet ones are from the times I felt so angry that I had to be me
These quiet ones here are from all the times I knew I needed help but never said a word
And all these skinny ones here are for the times that I hated this body that I live inside and for the times the mirror in my head liked to tell me lies
These are for the times I felt like I was drowning in frustration because I never matched the perfect person my brain wanted me to be
And these are for the time I felt so lost and trapped inside my head
These are for the times I let my happiness be defined by an immature boy who saw the the start of these wounds and never bothered to ask me why
I've waged a wicked war with myself
I cried and yelled and yearned to be everything except me

My scars are healing
The blood of my own words has long been washed away
And here they all are for you to see my past in all it's pitiful glory
But please don't worry
I am okay
The wars have stopped
I may stumble and have a scuffle from time to time
But I am okay, really, I promise

i miss the towering, snowcapped mountains
the blue of your eyes
the chill in the air
the warmth of your hands

i like to write in metaphors
but you're the one
i can't grasp
i just can't seem to find anything good enough to compare to you
my words fail me
and it occurs to me that all that is left
are my emotions swimming inside

I feel as if I'm wearing a t shirt soaked in my past sadness
Always slightly weighing me down
I don't want my past to be the whole sum of me
But it seems like all the numbers are adding up quite nicely

i still see the scars left behind
hidden in the deep folds of my mind

Angry at the moon
for watching you take your life
and not stopping you.