If jealousy is a green eyed monster,
Anxiety will be a blued eyed monster
With thorns that you do not take notice of
Until its too late and you are trapped in its suffocating embrace.
Save me, please.

Anxiety will rob you of your breath
She leaves you gasping for air when everyone can breathe just fine.
I can't look around,
Or they will know there is no heart next to my failing lungs.
Save me, please.

Anxiety will steal your light away
She will leave you in darkness
When she knows your fear of the dark will **** you.
My eyes look around wildly
Seeing yet unseeing
I need to find my way out of this crowd.
There are too many eyes that can see through me
She keeps me blind.
Save me, please

Anxiety will take away your courage
I am not brave enough to be in a room full of people.
I am not brave enough to talk to the girl sitting beside me for the last six months
I am not brave enough to look into your eyes.
Anxiety is a blue-eyed monster that won't give me back my courage.
Please please please, give it back.

There’s a noose around our necks to drive out feeling,
To **** the sweetest instincts planted deep within our souls.
It’s too hard to feel, it hurts too much, so **** it –
Replacing it with lust so that we think we are alive
But we have lost it.

I think therefore I am?  So said that Greek man.
Someone could likewise reason that “I feel, therefore I am”
It’s a possible conjecture but the suffering incurred
Is overboard , impossible, I cannot cope with that.
I’ll take the substitute.

This lust gives me to think I’m feeling something,
Be it money lust, drink, drugs, or sexuality or things.
Somehow, though my ego escalates, I’m feeling grand,
But my relationships are failing, flawed, I cannot understand –
I’ll take the substitute.

I’m at the bottom of the pit.  I’m on the outer.  
The substitute has got me.  I’m in isolated rink.
It’s living hell.  My friends are gone, and everything is bad.
I cannot cope with this.  I need some love. There’s none around.
I’ll take the substitute.

I’ll take the substitute.

I’ll take the substitute.

I’ll take the substitute.

This is hell.

God, where are You?

“I’m right here.”

“I took the substitute.”

"I know."

"It's finished me."

"I know."

"Help me."

“Will you take Me now?”

“I sure don’t want the substitute any more.”

“Will you take Me now?”

“Yes.”

“You believe Me now?”

“Yes.”

“Do you believe that I love you?”

“Yes”

“Do you understand, I did the substitution for you?”

“On the Cross?”

“That’s it.”

“I believe you.”

“Do you trust Me in all respects?”

“It’s either You or the other substitute?”

“It’s either Me or the other substitute.”

“I’d rather trust You.”

“Come then.  I love you.  
Walk with Me and I’ll restore your deeply broken heart.
You are My child. Draw ever closer, never to depart.
Revive yourself in Me.  My Words will give you back your Life.
I’m your blood brother, at your back when problem scenes are rife.
My Spirit, Truth, empowers you in strife.”

His hands
burn away at my momentary doubt

my skin becomes softer beneath his lips.

his lips taste like a postage stamp for an unwritten letter

with slowly drifting fingers, he writes to me:
he asks about my day with his palm on my rib cage and his sighs in my ear.
he kisses the center of my chest, and tells me a story about friends I've never met
he suckles my ****** when he talks about his alcoholic father.

and he writes goodbye with his hips between my thighs.

he provides no return address.
he simply signs his name.

The  
                               Snow
    Keeps
                    On
Falling,
                    And
        ­  The
                              Wind
   Keeps
                          On
  Howling.

So I think I'll just stay inside.

Pleasant surprises never come to me and
Pessimism is how I learned to survive
So forgive me if I show doubt my darling
I haven't felt this happy for a very long time