Oh God
Well I can still remember how we woke up
I can remember opening my eyes
How those early rays lit up
Your beautiful face
And I just lied there
In my place
I belonged with you
And all in all
I feel like I still do

I sit patiently
I wait
I eat
I drink
I pass the time
I don't know that he won't come
Again
I continue
To wait
To eat
To drink
Patience
Continuing
Continuing
The same thing
To a person who never comes
Who is he
Why won't he come
Why, he's been there the whole time
Can't you see him?
Everyone else can
Can't you see him?
The man, all alone
There's much pain in his eyes
Much longing
Can't you see him?
That's okay, no one does
He's a ghost
Not alive
He's you

That crisp air is so familiar
It hits me and I feel at home
The colors of red
The colors of orange
The colors of yellow
Fall onto the ground
They crunch with every step
The familiar sound
The cinnamon
The pine trees
The chimneys
I smell them all
The smell of smoke in cool air
Is so delightful
My favorite

Are these demons
Really what they are
Are they mine
Or were they left here
And cursed to me
Are these demons
Here for me
To take my being
Take my feeling
Are these demons
My own
How can I drown them
When they'll take me too
I guess I'll see

I don't believe in Heaven
And I don't believe in Hell
When I die
I'm going nowhere but down

When there's emptiness
Whether in your mind
In your heart
In your life
It gives a chance
To fill it
Fill it with things you love

Like a blank piece of paper
On which to create art
On which to create words
To create scenery
Beauty

Like silence
In which to create sound
Music
Speech
Something magnificent

When there's emptiness
You fill it
Fill it with love
Fill it with happiness
Fill it with whatever you need
Just fill it
Emptiness is not a bad thing

He makes me feel so warm
The way he holds me
I feel as if I'm at home
He may be miles away now
But I can still feel it
But how
How can one person
Make me feel so full

*PH

I got caught in the waves one day
A happy, warm day
The sun hit me
And pushed me into the water
I fell in
Never to return

I feel everything
When I think of us
I think of us
And I feel everything

Your mouth opens to speak
But shuts as soon as you open it
There's nothing you can say
You know that
Still
You want to say something
Do something
To keep it from happening
But you don't
You watch your entire life
As he walks out the door
And wonder
Years later
As you sit with your kids
What if you had said something?

I'm shaking
But it's not cold in here

They can see through the glass
Our lips are dripping blood
From telling all these lies
And we both know
That we've really done it this time

*P.H

My eyes were stinging
Puffy and red
The salty water fell down my cheeks
I will always feel the last time
I grabbed your shirt
And pulled you in
Face to face
And felt your lips
Dance a long with mine
My head fits perfectly in your neck
And our hands interwine perfectly
I'm sorry I have to go
I'll see you soon, love

We sat
The steam danced from our cups
We laughed
The skin near your lip wrinkles
It wrinkles
Just a bit
Your laugh rings through my head
I used to love it
Now it hurts

I have an urge
To take your pain
When you're on the verge
Of falling apart
I want to take your pain
When you're feeling sorrowful
Or woeful
Sick at heart
All alone
I want to take those away
I want them
There will be no more suffering for you this way

Am I
Am I
Seeing things
The shadows on the walls
They creep
They creep
The ghosts are back
They're sitting there waiting for me to crack
I see them all along these walls
I see them
I see them
The walls
They don't even look white anymore

There is an ocean between us
And they'd think
That might be enough
To tear us apart
They wonder how
But we don't

They say time heals
But what do they know?
When I think about it
I'm nothing
I'm nowhere
And years will pass
And I'll feel the same

The dust flies off the desk
Into the air
It flies
I stare

The water drops
Inch down the window
To the window box
The flowers dance

The walls say nothing
They sit in silence
I know no one is coming
I wait anyway

The silence starts to hurt
I try to stay sane
I stay alert
Waiting, listening

It becomes too much
Unbearable silence
Waiting for a soft touch
I know won't come

I stood still
I could do nothing but watch
As you walked out the door
I wanted to tell you to stay
I wanted to scream
"Please. Please don't go"
But I just watched
Watched as you walked out the door