The dark is leaving,
Sunrise is here,
Time to sleep.

No!

I will never allow the dark
To outshine the light!
Not again.

When shadows were my candles,
My eyelids my comfort,
The night my day,
It only took time,
For my blood to become my tears,
And hope for death to become my life,
But no more!

Never again.

Light has returned,
Sunrise is here,
Time to wake.

Look me in the eyes,
And see the real me,
See me beneath what you're told to see,
Look don't just see what you believe,
In these holes in my defense,
I will let you find my soul,
Open with naked honesty if only,
You would choose to see it.

Sleep child, dream away,
Ignore the world and slip away,
Until the new day.

My pencil,
Shakes,
And makes tentative contact,
With ageing paper,
To create,
Reveal,
A figure who slowly,
Becomes fully formed,
Gains character,
Then takes control,
And bestows life upon itself,
Becomes real,
Unique,
And more than just,
The rough strokes,
On a flat page.

Seeing in my reflection,
Someone I don't know,
I used to see them everyday -
But that was long ago.

The sadness in his face,
Is matched by only sighs,
And the heavy will to keep on,
With weary, tiring eyes.

Fade  me away,
Out of sight,
At least to me,
For just a while.

I will not steal
Unoriginal streams
False flow frees no-one

For the first time in so long
The notes spelled a smile as they flew
Through my fingers to the keys
And the chords I hardly knew.

For the last time in as long as I can
The blade's glint is locked away
And left untouched as the empty nights
Skulk and slip away.

And another time for longer
I will see and feel like spring
And the warmth and life and subtle breeze
Will lift my heart within.

There was once a tale of a girl in her coat,
Who ran with the stars in the sky,
You'd only see her if you'd lost all hope,
And had no reason why,
She'd find you in the darkness and tell you where she'd been,
Then tell of how she used to be a little boy who sinned.

It was often said the tale of the girl in the coat,
Was made up and false,
But many swore they's seen her ghost,
When all their doors were closed,
They say she finds you in the depths of your despair,
To tell you where she'd been and how long it took to grow her hair.

Now many years have passed and the tale of the girl in the coat,
Has somehow died,
The say it's because she could never cope,
No matter how hard she tried,
But if you look in the dark when you're lost she'll still find you,
To tell you where she'd been and tell you what you ought to do.

Don't write themselves,
But I'm not going to write them for you.

We've been told to reach
And to cry out for the stars -
They remain silent.

My heart's begging to be broken,
For some love-tangled tragedy,
To rip me to shreds,
And for maybe an hour,
I want to care about nothing else.

I was longing for someone,
So I wrote her story in my head,
And songs on my guitar,
For a while she was my whole life,
But even she turned away.

And maybe that's what I wanted,
To feel the full cycle,
All the way from bliss to utter sorrow,
For it seems no part exists,
Without another.

Here, in truth, we're found
Unified upon this common ground
Divided hearts held together
Secured by jagged edges.

Here, in hope, we're loved
Wrapped in scarves and gloves
By an over-fussy mother
Determined to keep us warm.

Here, in strength, we stand
Arm in arm, hand in hand
And we know we cannot fall
We are: One for All

I'd missed you, I knew,
But my eyes wasted no time,
In reminding themselves how to
Marvel at you,
And my hands,
Remembered how to long for you,
And the warmth in your palms.

In front of me, again, the beauty who never saw,
Her own precious nature,
Whose laugh blocked out all thoughts,
Of panic, or sense of
time and deadlines,
Instead wishing only to hear her voice,
And her joy between her tears.

There you were,
Unreachable,
Yet held tight,
An angel of the night,
Who never wanted the light,
But I just couldn't let you go.

If there could be a clearer, more perfect breath than this
I would know it only through your lips
And though your whispers may not be pure
They cleanse a bleeding soul of past regret.

Could fear or failure keep me safer than this?
An edge, a line, not to stumble across
For I run from both into your arms but still
Arrive back here again.

He's smiling,
But inside he's crying,
He's strong,
But inside he's dying,
He's laughing,
But inside he's shaking,
He's dancing,
But inside he's aching.

Then suddenly,
He's not lying anymore.

He's shouting,
Because inside she's angry,
He's standing up,
Because inside she's not afraid,
He's growing his hair,
Because inside she wants to be her sometimes,
He's ignoring them,
Because inside she knows if they can't accept her and him their words don't matter.

From the outside,
Everything seems worse,
Because he was hiding it all,
But now she is free,
He's recovering.

I need a hand to touch me
To shatter all my bones
And show me I’m still living
Fragile, frigid, locked in stone
All I was or what I was meant to be
Was petrified into irrelevancy.

I need a chisel to strike
And change my fate
And open up my soul
To let out the mistakes
I need someone stronger to open my eyes
Only then can I start to rewind

I need the cracks to form
Around my body’s edges
Then I’ll be free
To tackle my own ledges
Make choice for myself and me alone
I wanna be more than a standing stone.

And I’m ready now to break myself in
And I’m steady now to stretch my new skin
Still I’m blacking out, the air’s growing thin
But I’m just ready to be broken.

And here I find myself again
In early hours of morning dew,
Drizzle, showers, spats of rain,
An unsteady beat to match my strides
And could the mist replace the hours lost?
Hours spent with no purpose
But for avoiding dreams

Yes here my heart finds comfort, peace
Amidst the overgrown and dying
Besides the flowing of a manmade stream
I see beauty in the leaves
Not perfect no but intricate
Refined
Each put in place for some purpose
To stimulate the mind

And like some pointless explorer I make my way between undergrowth
Twisting and stretching away from nettles
But caring little if I'm stung
Each tree I recognise as a friend
And logs as fallen graves
Each bird sings of a new day
And a new song
And the hope
Such hope
Remains.

Waiting once more
The sun just awake
And bouncing off electric wires
Coated in night's rain

The time is drawing nearer
In this town so far from home
Never been before but leaving soon
I am completed to roam

So run away I must
As the whistling hiss nears
I abandon the foreign town
For the sake of future years

They grew within our ranks
Nurtured into strength
Turned traitor
Biting back
Chaining me to their ideals

They maimed my skin
Their strikes precise
Piercing pain,
Digging deep
To bleed my heart dry

The air filled with smoke
Choking my lungs
Aching arteries,
Poison pumped
To steal my breaths

The barrel pressed against my skull
******* on the trigger
Trip twitch,
Fated fuse
And they'd destroy me:

Their home,
Their Earth.

Sometimes I wonder
If I have stolen life from the world,
If my existence has a purpose
Or if it simply grinds against
The ever-turning gears of time,
Resisting the absolute certainty -
The inescapable reality that all
Must end,
Everything will fall apart,
And all I'm doing,
Is watching half a gasp
Of life's refusal to die.

I am an author, except
My plotlines are mostly inept,
I have lots of sparks,
But no story arcs,
So poetry's where they are kept.

He walks in,
First word in your head,
Judges immediately,
Based on what?
Some predetermined law?
The assumption that,
As you have been taught,
What he looks like is,
What she feels like is,
Wrong.
Maybe the way she walks,
Or how she smiles,
Casts doubts,
But you ignore,
All you see is him.
Please,
Look for her.

Stand together,
Sing a song,
Love's forever,
Hate is wrong.
Be the difference,
Make the change,
When night is falling,
We won't fade.
Keep on smiling,
Spirits high,
Keep believing,
Now's the time,
To speak our words,
Say our mind,
For one, for all,
For all mankind.

Now we stare in awe
Marveling at specks of dust
That met in the black

Dust floats in my breath,
Reflecting in moonlight,
Which breaks through,
My windows,
That river of dreams,
Floats unaware,
Above my still open eyes,
Until whispered,
Away.

From far away,
Beauty becomes,
Greater than itself,
It glares, grows,
Screams stronger,
Catching, capturing,
Your eyes until,
They are no longer yours,
Only ever seeing,
Her.

Mind empty,
Days behind,
And still no spark,
No flame.

Blank paper,
Ripped out,
And thrown as I,
Start to go insane.

And the words,
Jumble in my head they
all stretch and
break
and fall to place
round way wrong.

An image flashes,
For just an instant,
But I cannot capture it,
It's gone.

Yes, we believe even now,
Just one defeat will not tear this movement down,
Perhaps it's the drink in our blood,
But we stand unafraid.

Yes, we keep on even so,
Rewriting all the rules, change all that we know,
Fill the streets with all the people on their feet,
And we'll remain.

And we'll rise with the colours and love in our hearts
Beating fast, beating clear,
And we'll stand hand in hand, arm in arm and we'll shout out the truth:
We won't let hate near,
And we'll dream of a world we long to see,
We believe we can let in the hope,
Let out the fear.

Now we gather ourselves,
Prepare for the night,
We won't fall to the dark,
We will bask in the light,
Even now, we're growing stronger with each simple breath in our lungs,
We stand true, we stand and fight.

A song lies in the shadow on the wall,
Cast by an unused guitar,
Beneath its tiring strings,
A hoodie tossed aside,
A story of rebellion lies within,
Those man-made fibres,
Dyed black as the hair I wish I had,
And resting on the sleeve,
Forgotten,
Glasses,
That let me see clearly,
And now all is a blur,
But the poem I write,
To remember and cope,
Another night,
Another day.

Breathing slow
Eyes closed
A second
Of silence
And softness
Left to dream
In the night

Letters, numbers, a list on a page
Absolutes that will not change,
These lines and dots are my future days,
Defined by database.

My stress, my fear, my falling apart,
My dedication to love and art,
My panicked tears, my shaky start,
My transcripted heart.

How could lives be no more than words?
How could a soul's journey be of no worth?
Can truth so complex have simple birth?
Build a binary world.

Yellow joy,
Wrapped in holly green excitement.

Lavender hugs,
Wrapped in berry red love.

Blue tears,
Wrapped in black fear,
And thrown away,
For a while.

Time could pass,
Between my footsteps,
Eternities in each pace,
Before I'd realise.

The sky could dim,
And glow and dim,
And glow thousand times,
Before I'd look up.

Waters of ages could fall,
Or rise to meet my breaths,
And carve the path before me,
Before I'd blink.

But if I stopped,
I'd see.

Summer shades,
Vibrant, free, proud,
Cascading down hillsides,
Bursting from earth,
To fill young minds with hope,
And show old eyes colour again,
Keep the wheel turning,
Keep the candle burning,
Once the summer breeze dies,
And autumn gales take their place,
Keep the flame lit,
Though some colours will die,
And petals will fall,
Leaves will take their place,
With their swan song in gold,
And a taste in the air,
A promise.

The skin burns up around my lips,
Nagging at my fingers,
Like the hairs on my chin are being
replaced
with needles ramming into my skin
through muscle to the bone
with no pause or thought
and setting fire to the collagen
that holds my jaw together.
Until my head is crumbling and I'm
trying to rip out the spikes
that aren't there and weren't
ever
but still scream into my skull
"Give up!"

I have fallen,
Out of pain,
And landed,
In joy.

I have stumbled,
Away from hate,
And fallen,
In love.

I have trembled,
Away from fear,
And stumbled,
Into hope.

I have broken,
Ties with loss,
And trembled,
With delight.

I have landed,
Away from home,
And broken,
Down the walls.

All laid out,
A shirt, a cardigan, a pair of jeans.
It's all been sorted,
The name, an explanation, a key.
Everything is ready,
Except me.

I was ready,
I planned for months, far too often.
I've waited so long,
Hoping for this day, and now it's here.
Everything is ready,
Except me.

I know it's fine,
Nothing will go wrong, I'm sure of it.
But still the doubt,
The fear never leaves, what if they hate?
Everything is ready,
Except me.

My arms shake,
Not cold, not shocked, paranoid.
But I close my eyes,
Breathe deep, empty my mind, and hear:
"Everything is ready,
Are you?"

Yes. It's time.

Once again,
I'm waiting,
Preparing for something new,
And yet exactly the same,
An unimportant day?
Perhaps,
For you,
But for me,
Everything changes.

Beneath the Earth we’re outnumbered by dead
Who’ve run out of voices to go to their heads
And the blood in their veins flow in our hearts instead
To keep our children fed.

A generation has fallen to pain
A broken species can’t keep itself away
But we keep on running though we can’t find our way
To build on yesterday.

But it’s no good blaming undertones
For a foreground that’s broken in half
It’s no use blaming understones
For our failure to make a new start
The dead aren’t just dead
They’re holding us to account
Their skeletal fingers are there in our hands
And they demand to know
Why we sacrificed their understones

Their bones are rotting
But we keep breathing
And ghosts keep pulling us down
Their eyes are gone
But still they see
Us cursing their graves - it was our fault anyway

Am I worth keeping
Alive more than some other
Broken-hearted soul?

Legs
     shaking
            down
                  uneven
              spirals
          Hands
   gripping
coarse
     rope
          Feet
               searching
             for
purchase
           Eyes
             looking
                       for
                 their
           marks
    Rushing
when
    found
        security
            Hoping
          to
   reach
safety
      It's
         not
            much
       further
    to
leave
    that
       cave
             of
               descent.

Many years have passed
A host of dark dark nights
She was falling into despair
Cause she couldn't be
Who she wanted to be
And she was too scared to grow her hair
And as time went  by
She lived her lie
And learned to lock her feelings away
She was afraid and lost
Asking God
To take all her pain.

And he said:
"My child, you know I love you."
"You know I don't want you to fall apart."

He said:
"My child, I am with you."
"And I gave you the love in your heart."

He said:
"Daughter, my daughter."
"Your life is a work of art."
"So let them see."

The steady click of a pen
Punctuates the drone of
A teacher who thinks she gets us but
Loses our interest and focus until
We realise we don't understand because
We were too busy clicking our pens and
Writing poems.

Did those stones remember
Those words we spoke
As had been spoken
Centuries before

Did the soil recall
The footprints of those
Who made the journey here
Centuries before

Did we think then
The same thoughts
As the radicals who met
Centuries before

To whom I owe so much

Shouting,
Chanting,
And the clashing shoulders,
Feet driving,
Heads smashing,
Passion high,
Determined rage,
Focused on one thing,
Keep pushing,
One more yard,
One foot,
An inch,
And down,
-
Release.

I want to get angry, upset,
I want to shout at the world when no-one will hear me.
I want to scream in my head
and rip down the walls that keep me trapped here.
I want to mess up my makeup
and run through the night and let out tears and cries and breathless pleas.
I want to stand on the rooftops,
I want to curse the stars for always being the same.
I want to break my wrist falling down
and make it worse just to make a statement.
I want to let out my rage,
but I am too scared to be true,
So I'll simmer here and beat myself up instead.

Rain soaked windows
drag a hand the world,
stretching, distorting,
long ripples curl
as if in a wake,
the houses obscured
and tree branches fluid
their currents disturbed
everything altered
and painted with grey
as oil paints run
from the sky down a pane.

Now the long days begin
Reality takes over, reminding me
My life is unobserved,
To most of little
Consequence
And to me lacking
Direction
I don't know where
I'm going but my path
Is clearly marked so I
follow, unseeing
with wasted steps
in search of
some answer
or other.