Parker Smith: Favorites

Nov 2013 Parker Smith

R

it was so easy to
sit next to him and
grab a donut. too
easy to say hello and
to pat him on the shoulder.
and yet, i wanted to stay there,
because he makes me feel so
comfortable.

then i left and walked towards your
door. i put a smile on my face and waited patiently
and then bam you came through the front doors and
hit me so hard with that smile of yours. i didn't realize how
much ive missed you. ive missed the way you talk and walk
and smile and just everything you are.... I missed you.

but, when you stopped to talk to some other guy i then
decided that i wasn't worth talking to because all i do is
flirt with you and that isn't okay, you're engaged and you don't
want me, no matter how much it seems like you do...

it wasn't you that made me feel non-worthy, it was that single factor
in the equation of us that kept me slowly backing away from your door,
into the hallway, and then out the door to my next class.

i wanted to talk about how i have a math test next period,
how i am taking two college courses and that one of them is
starting tomorrow! how even though my panic attacks are getting
worse, i havent cut in awhile. how my dad bailed on me once again,
and yet im kind of... okay. how i miss you and what i see in you isn't
just kid love. its real love....

it was so easy to talk to you too, but realizing how much i
needed you in my life compeltely ruined my confidence
and once again, i am back to ignoring you..

oh how i wish i could turn it off.

Nov 2013 Parker Smith

Asylum

Nov 2013 Parker Smith

Aleska Servian

Asylum

When i first met you you were so bored
i didn't hesitate sitting next to you
you said "your lack of feelings won't be a problem"
and we found each other to share our blues
Disdain, disease, disgrace, disgusted
the first tear was a waterfall
when you realized that i couldn't be trusted
trouble on paradise
the walls started to fall
So i ran away to the east, i climbed mountains, i found a priest
the pain was howling and i was looking for sweet words
I broke a mirror, turn my dark side into fear
cause when you were near i could easily run the world

My given name is Asylum
for a long time you were my ******
you know that i'm a loaded gun
that i used to break hearts for fun
now i'm not so sure
Go ahead and pull the trigger
i'll stand still and you're eager
cuts and bruises, now i'm done
you can hurt me just for fun
you're so sure
that we are better alone

Your heart was a stone, you were a gangster
my skin was cold as an iceberg
now it looks like i was the only amateur
even knowing the right codes to whisper
Give me a cigarette or this poison in your tongue
at least we're still connected by hate
The Smiths on the jukebox, you could sing along
but i guess you no longer believe in fate
So what if i decide to stay, to believe in something, to start to pray
would you look inside my head searching for your eyes?
Can we ask the gods to forgive our misery?
we can fight for victory, and i could die
knowing you have tried to be mine

My given name is Asylum
for a long time you were my ******
you know that i'm a loaded gun
that i used to break hearts for fun
now i'm not so sure
Go ahead and pull the trigger
i'll stand still and you're eager
cuts and bruises, now i'm done
you can hurt me just for fun
you're so sure
that we are better alone

Don't be scared of what i have to offer
i punched you in the face to make you a fighter
When you decide to leave
you can be a better person without me
cause i set fire to your brain
and you didn't let me explain

Oct 2013 Parker Smith

Yes I'm Mean

Oct 2013 Parker Smith

Unrequited Love

Yes I'm Mean

Mean... I hear this term a lot and I must say I'm getting pretty sick and tired of being told I'm mean.

So what if I'm sarcastic its a joke its never malicious

Yes I pull your leg sometimes but do you realize you do the same to me

What about the time I listened to you and your problems. Without mentioning anything about myself for hours

What about the time I dropped everything to help you. I didn't care about me or my plans you needed me and I was there.

But you have conveniently forgotten all of that.

Must be nice to have such a selective memory, I would love to have one but sadly I remember everything

I remember the time you were to busy to help me.

I remember how your problems are always greater than mine and that you can't listen to me for more than five minutes

Or the time you called me mean...

But its fine I don't mind being the bad guy because I know who I am and I won't change for anything

Because honestly dear your opinion is worthless to me now

And now you have full permission to call me mean

Because I'm defiantly not going to waist my time being nice to you ever again.

Oct 2013 Parker Smith

A Plea for Time

Oct 2013 Parker Smith

Weston Taylor

A Plea for Time

My friends in the closet have come out to play
They have planned to dress me in there bones
I know my day is coming soon
They are building up poison and ready to unload

To take a spear to the vessel
That they once had

The skeletons they come alive and their eyes burning red
They are ready to strip me clean of what lived in my head
They are numerous and powerful and they all have been read
Full of shame and regret for all they have said

At first they fought for a reasonable time
But their will had dried up then **** went their minds
The heart became blind
Because its leader was gone
The skin became frail
It's life almost gone

In the corner he sits
Fragile with dust
On his nose his chest his hands and his knees
His head his heart his gut and his feet

Now his time has come a door has been opened
His bones rattling not a word had been spoken
His life has a purpose for the sake of vengeance
Time comes alive not a path of remenencence

They are ready to take me in and devour me alone
I can beat them one by one and bone by bone
But now is not so great
There is no color in my eyes and my skin has no tone

I am not ready for you just yet
I haven't had the chance to watch my life go by
I haven't let go and said my goodbyes
I haven't the strength to face you eye
So I ask you to hold your fire
I promise to put up a good fight
But please give me more time

Oct 2013 Parker Smith

Poet's Identity

Oct 2013 Parker Smith

-

Poet's Identity

I put pen to paper
not knowing
what to expect
if I will be satisfied
with what I write
or if anyone
will like
what I
write

I don't see myself
as a gifted soul
all my words
were dug up
from the dark
and beautiful
parts of me
that were
buried
in soil

my heart speaks
so loudly
even my mind
can hear
the echoing
of my thoughts
as I think of the
memories
which made me
and created
the identity
of the poet
that I became
to be

Sep 2013 Parker Smith

Big Brother

Sep 2013 Parker Smith

Selena Irulan

Big Brother

I've never met a person who could make me angry as quickly as you.
But when I need someone to make me laugh unexpectedly- you do that too.
Mom always told us, when we were certain we couldn't be related,
That we'd never stop needing each other. A sibling couldn't be traded.
We often joked that hospitals switch babies all the time.
But deep down I knew, that even with your very worst parts, you were mine.
It's been quite awhile since I heard you laugh.
I find myself replaying conversations wishing they would last.
Missing all the things so uniquely you
Wishing I'd known sooner that what Mom said was true.
You're more like me than either of us could have known.
Now I see that losing you is like losing my only way home,
Because I have a connection to you unlike any other.
It was unavoidable. You're my Big brother.

Sep 2013 Parker Smith

i have to go

Sep 2013 Parker Smith

gemnah maley bray

i have to go

he could not be compared.
he was lovely.
he was drowning in faithfulness.
he was what i thought i dreamed of.
problem is, though;
while i was busy falling in love, i
unknowingly built the walls of my life parallel to his own
and now these walls are deteriorating,
these walls are crumbling and *****,
and mostly because
there’s no windows for me to see out –
i have no idea what could possibly lie
behind them,
amongst them,
with them,
without them.
he offers to install windows,
he offers to break these walls down
with his own bare hands,
he offers to join me in
finding out what i wish
to see beyond these barriors.
but i don't wish for him
to come with,
i wish instead
to leave him inside.
i wish to leave him
altogether.
i wish i didn't wish so.
i wish i didn't have to go.
but i do.
i do.