I must have fallen in and out of love
a dozen times over the years.
This summer I have seen a few of the girls
who once were the objects of my affection-
albeit idealised versions of themselves
whom I created in my mind
and placed on pedestals-
and spoken with them
as though I never felt a spark of passion.

And perhaps I did not.
So what love have I had that lasted?
None comes to mind.
How is it I fall in love so easily?
I only believe I have not fallen in love at all.

And if I have never loved,
yet felt so strongly for each after the other,
I can only imagine the depths
I might feel one day for you.

Who can say what it is to love?
But I wish to find out;
not to fall in love slowly,
but all at once.
And then all at once again.
Like an ocean's waves,
endlessly washing over me,
I wish to endlessly fall in love with you.
To look into your eyes
with a steady gaze and know,
without hesitation or the faintest doubt,
that I love you in that very moment.  

Because I cannot promise to love you always,
and I cannot say I have loved you always,
but I certainly can say I love you right now.
And what is more honest than to love you in the present tense?
And what more could I give than my entire self, as I am, today?

I feel as though,
I was destined for this.
And if you crush me,
I would be so honoured to be crushed.
If you found another better than I-
and scarcely difficult would that be to do-
there would be no surprise on my part.
But were you to knowingly forgo
the possibility of something better,
to be with me,
there is nothing more than that which I desire.

And I am so very often lukewarm,
not feeling strongly one way or the other.
I would have to say I want for very few things,
if I were honest.
But my strongest and most passionate wish
is to be with you.

I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes, many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but now it's come to distances and both of us must try,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.
I'm not looking for another as I wander in my time,
walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme
you know my love goes with you as your love stays with me,
it's just the way it changes, like the shoreline and the sea,

but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't
untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.
I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't
untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.

The quickest way to fall apart
Is to pick up the broken pieces of yourself
So we hold ourselves together
And we climb out of our beds
Every morning, we arise and meet the day
Holding our guts in our hands
Wearing scarred hearts on our sleeves

The hardest things in life
Are the little ones
But a thousand pinpricks bleed us dry
And the moments move so swiftly
We feel the pressure in our skulls
Listening to the voices of our fears and doubts
Anxieties clawing to get out

The strongest ones I know
Are the ones who had to fight alone
Nobody else could see their demons
Or carry the weight of the world
Which rested squarely on their shoulders
Dying would be so easy a thing for us
Living well is the real challenge we must face

we laid on the bed and didn't touch.
i wanted you to hold me but i was afraid you'd catch this disease i have, apathy.
insomnia and heartache are synonyms,
you told me.
everything looks different in the dark.
you think you know your heart until the blackout illuminates a new one entirely.
i told you i was afraid and you wrote a lullaby down my spine.
that's not right.
everything is different in the dark.
you didn't touch me.
i forgot you didn't touch me.
the loaded question was on your lips as i pressed mine to yours. bang.
kissing doesn't count as touching but you stopped me anyway.
it was raining cats and dogs and you told me to lighten up or it would never stop.
i choked on your tongue and you called it a laugh.
silence is an accent i wish more people had.
you didn't say anything.
you didn't touch me.

beginnings are as hard as the endings
when everything is pitch black
you don't know where to start
you don't know where to hold when you're about to fall
but sooner or later you will find the light
that will lead you out if the darkness and guide you through the night
starting over maybe such a mess
but at least it will turn to something wonderful

My lover asks me:
"What is the difference between me and the sky?"
The difference, my love,
Is that when you laugh,
I forget about the sky.