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pam Jul 2015
I can be white, black, red, green.
No color judgement, ever since.
I hear things I dont want to hear. I see things I dont want to see.
When people are mad,
They take it out on me.
Time just pass me by
And sometimes people asks why
Why am I thin, thick, wide, red, rough, or smooth, or they'll ask me if I know all the truths.
If only I could talk.
You will know the answers
And all the crimes, worries, and wonders
Will be discovered.

- P.D
I tried to be a wall
pam May 2015
Im thinking about you again.

and this is not a good sign
its been like what? ... like 4 years? almost 5 years? ive lost track..
pam May 2015
(oh boy, oh you.)*

You told me things that made me believe
you told me things i didn’t wanna hear
you told me things i can relate to
its weird because thats not something that you’re into
you told me feeling you didn’t want anyone to know
Even though i didn’t wanna hear it
I couldn’t say no
Because I want you to know that I’m still here
and I’m not willing to disappear.

Oh boy, oh you,
I wish you knew
What pain I had to go through
All because of you.

thoughts about you

I still can't forget about you.
Why did you have to open up you and your girlfriends problem to me.
Thats not fair.
Its so not fair...

I couldn't even say no...
Im gasping for air.
pam Feb 2015
I dont hate you.
Im just upset and disappointed
because you turned into everything you said you'd never be.
But I want to hate you.
So tell me everything.
Why didnt you tell me a ******* thing? You made me believe that you and your 'feelings' would actually last longer than Ive imagine.
I want to know all the reasons because I need them to hate you.
But this doesnt mean I regret meeting you.
You're one of the best person I've ever met.
My happiness used to depend on you. You made me feel butterflies, you made me feel like Im worth it.

I thought you're not going to hurt me.
Turns out you're the reason why im crying every night.
You're the reason why I couldnt sleep at night.
You're the reason why I want to regret meeting you...
But how can I regret something-- someone I once wanted?

I think-- Ive had enough.
Its done. Its over.
I want nothing to do with you anymore.

I cant risk another minute of my life thinking about how you ruined me-- and how I still want to run to you and ask you to fix me--
but thats not going to happen--
Because in a count of three--

1... 2... 3...

"Im letting you go."

really personal 4:38am thoughts
pam Jan 2015
Is it still a poem
if no one reads it?
tell me... is it?
pam Jan 2015
“I would never be like those girls, they’re crazy.”  
Thats what I told myself when I saw every girl fan girling over some boyband.
I always wonder why they have to cry even though their idols just tweeted a picture or releases a new song; music video.
I always wonder why they have to waste their time to vote.
It annoys me when they try their best to get their idols attention by spamming them.
Fangirls get to my nerves, but I stayed quiet.
I hated it.
I hated them because they’re dedicating their life to someone who doesn’t even know they exist.
I mean I like some bands, but I never ever did those stuff.
"I would never ever.”
I told myself.
But one day, I woke up…

"Hi, we’re 5 Seconds Of Summer."
Then everything started to change.

*And then and there
I knew… Im such an hypocrite.
dont judge my music taste because I wont care.
pam Jan 2015
Looking back
Back from the start
I remembered the day
We first met
It was the day
You made me melt
And then and there
All i wanted was for you to stay
Years passed by
I saw you again
But all i felt was agony and pain
You being happy with the girl you're with.
Just kills me within.
You wearing that shirt
that i always borrow just broke me into pieces
You looking at her the way you looked at me
Shattered me...
- P.D

[ this is actually true... but I didnt see him in person. I saw it in a picture... Its just sad... ]
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