Chameleon

Chameleon Oct 2015

I have tried to be okay
with being alone,
in this apartment,
for as long as I have.
But it's lonely.
I like company and conversation.
Someone to lay against.
And pull my hands away from my head.
From this hair.
This shredded mess
that I hate so dearly.
It feels like I am losing.
Or maybe, I've already lost.

#battle #hair #trichotillomania

Chameleon Sep 2015

look

I wish I could see what
I look like to you.
What is beautiful about me?
What isn't.
I know what I look like for
thirty seconds in the mirror,
but when my reflection isn't
for me to see,
what does it look like.

Chameleon Sep 2015

in bed

7 a.m sleepy hands,
sliding up my leg.
Kisses almost hidden,
if not for early morning light
peaking through the shades.
It's a Saturday,
in bed with him.

Chameleon Sep 2015

lost

I pause before I take another step.
"I'm lost." I say out loud.
"You're always lost!"
somebody shouts.

They're right, I know.
And then I take off again.

#lost #new

Chameleon Sep 2015

you and me

I like when I'm in your
t-shirt and you are not,
and it's just me,
you,
and the bed.

Chameleon Sep 2015

my house

is an apartment,
that has 3 bedrooms,
but not enough living space
for that number of people.
I live here alone.
It's not modern,
but nice in a simple way.
I love that I can utilize every
room the way I want to.
The other night I ate my dinner
at the dining room table,
instead of my lap.
This place has grown on me.
Here lately I've gone between
feeling proud of myself,
and doubtful.
But I'm doing this.
All on my own.
I can't wait for the writing material.

Chameleon Sep 2015

fiji

I used Bukowski's back
as a makeshift table,
and packed one to smoke.
I hit it a couple times,
only setting it down to text him back.
It's a chilly Friday night.
It's the first time I've felt Fall
this year.
A cool steady breeze blows
in my bedroom window,
and he tells me
I love you.