too long to understand
complete lack of control over anything
if u are searching
u always know where to find me

i dont live in reality

iwalked into the desert usaid you would be there

u said baby i miss u to a ghost half dissapeared

smoked thru talk for hours
sun folds burning red

when I bent to kiss you the devil shook his head and said

hey pretty baby i been dreaming
i feel u + i need you

ran and burned like cigarettes dripping by a ghost

whole world smelled like gasoline left in bitter smoke

two convoluted circles when our desert fell apart

flew like slamming windows recanted our blue hearts

dark now so dark

with your gold pen malediction and my soul to trade instead

there is nothing left to love for when you’re already dead

ripped off my face laid in my grave

burned off my prints ive been erased

and everything still looks like evil

when im writing sometimes i miss words but i always say them in my head
so if i do, do you hear them too yes probably so y do they need to be written down

i never wanted u to be something i couldnt loose
you lie now with a placating smile
empty words trying to convince me
that what u never proved is the truth

idk how to be alive

no idea how to continue

we’re human
we aren’t perfect
& acting like we are only does harm to people & ourselves especially

poor
lots of problems from the past
no vision for the future
(and she says burden worthless complainer not worth my time)
/same person/same people

gets job
slowly fixes problems from the past
unhappy but has conscious plan for the future
(and she says love of my life)

                  same person
i am
                    are u

         i know i am

and were u ever

there are things in life that pass by and they were perfect then and are perfect now but that doesnt mean that they will ever exist in my reality

everyone is alone and u are the one that knows

have to be two people now
emotionless
and barely holding on

admissions of the weak and confused

every1 wants to p[lay some game
so i say okay
less play
i love you
just need them too
its family
its the truth
i love you
but u dont need to know the truth
i dont really love you
i just think i can fix u
cant u tell by how there is nothing to talk about
when its just us two
cant u tell by how i dont give a **** about what your writing about
and youll never see my name on your dashboard u tooo slow
cant u tell by how i distrust u and sleep, soo much longer that i need too i know
*******
pay me or pay u
gonna shut u off
cold isnt it
are u alone
*******
know the world is drying
dying towel drying
no water left
*******
feel sorry for your sins
**** no
*******
repent
**** the smiling *****
straightoutof Magdalene
hey
SATA?N
hes not there
i been asking
god is here
but he doesnt ******* care
he doesnt ******* care
he doesnt ******* care
he doesnt ******* care
hedoesntfucking care
your love is here

ask god for a small place to stay
away from everyon and everything
that made u feel this way
he;llll!
hellsay hes working so hard
preparing a place
for your rotting creature pelt
to hang above his fireplace
u can trust with all the brids
that know seeing isnt believing
so fat with faith
sidestepping windows
like theieryer necks were made of
neckbraces
unable to kneel down
andpuke it out
fly with them
until they remember
somethings are invisible
and they matter just as well
im standing on the edge of the felt
the putting green orb u fell onto and melded
so u grab your blak crows
and fly fly fly
******* hard
******* full force
until you fly to ******* hard into it
and break your neck
and remember
before u die
that there is nothing to believe in
even when you are well
there is nothing to be decieved by
you were born worthless
branded with a dollar sign
and yyour holy ghost
wont pay the hospital life
ur dead
because u believed in life
birds are dumb+haldf blind
im blind
but i could see what you were doing
with empty sockets or backwards eyes

not giving into this **** **** u u know what u are and what this is

stranded in hell with material wealth
try 1 more time brefore i shoot myself
i will never open my mouth again
take back your life and all of yourfriends

What happens when u die a lot of people think they know, nobody really knows

god i thought i knew everything
and then i did
and then it was too much
and then i was not enough

seeing who a person truly is changes your perspective of everything

nothing will ever let you go

idk anything life is overwhelming i just want to crwal into a hole and die how do i fix anything

poetry class/s ******* dumb
writing school ******* dumb

if u leave without speaking to me
when u come back
the doors will be locked
leave your key and leave

if your scared fdont bother
if i was meant to be over
it would already be over
its not from lack of effort
ask the knives in the kitchen
or the advil
or the bottle
or the nyquill
or my father
its going to be slow
and stronger
i am the best in the  world
at ******* hating myself
you should have looked at me
so much harder
before you thought you could help

alive is not well or equal in anyway

**** every1 you ever loved
**** every1 you are dreaming of

i had everything i needed to be happy
and i have never been happy my whole life

want to fix this cant fix this

U think u know what is right and what will fix my life when I jus want to die

What is love to you is not love to me

constantly repeating memory of everything i never wanted to see

fire fire and death

live in a lie too long and a ghost is born
that lives under and hovers over your every waking word

time changes nothing

vampire queen

when you are melted
put the needle in
you be the ****** and I will be your sins
and we will lose all inhibition that stopped this from the heart
turn to die in each others arms under violet revolving lights tirelessly dreaming on top of fallen stars
that would be real ******* art
I never claimed to be anything or an anybody in anyway
but know that when you read what I say
I mean it in every way, maybe not the meaning
Is what your really seeing
but it is real to me hopefully you find beauty
and I know ill always  be looking
and sometimes this **** is so much simpler than talking.
thank you for reading and I must do ******* nothing
******* and for the record the internet is destroying the world

in view of blue orchids
on a rattled omen vase
crust and core undulate
the ground shakes
and its crumbs spread to fulminate
along then came a spider with
a blue messianic face
pulling martyrs out like **** stems
from unsuspecting graves
unfolding the patchwork of
shattered porcelain paint
rim and base suffocate
luminous sprites spread
to fill in the missing space
with tired eyes and fire light
they meld it all into a frame
placed on a pedestal
to sermonize disaster
and voluminous revival in the wake

eyes set to traumatize
life is on a wire straddling paradise
with the sun and the sky
cleaning their tools before they cut u open
dripping white tears into your open ribcage
as they bend to look inside
sad hands revolve like jeweled steam lamp lids
raising our two bodies into one pink casket

i still read your old messages
and i still havent cut my hair
and i still go to that place
that we were supposed to go
and think about the things i want to say
when its late
and i am alone
and i think about when i saw you
driving past me
in the most unexpected place
and i wonder if you saw me too
and just didnt know what to say
i kept it to myself
and i assume you would have done the same
the longer this continues
the more everything else fades
everyone thinks im crazy
taking meaning from things
that may have nothing to do with me
but if it is madness to try to fight for something
that makes you smile without understanding
that confuses your perception of everything
then im willing to bear the name
its a gift that you have
to make someone feel this way
without even a complete sentence
the shortest messages
with such intelligence
putting everything i could ever write to shame

god rolling life up turning days into signs
+ everything is aligned
struggling and pulling  some new death at my families life
makes no senses or curses handed devil a soul to try
what is in constituted in living is honestly nothing
compared to blackrr trees in the blacksst night
standing still staring @ all the pretty white lights
with home as a ghost + the smoke in your eyes
wanna tear open new hearts from the breeze
hold them and love them like im on this new disease
and soak them in french absinthe from gutters in the streets
watcch  god cry + lift off his *** for me
and the devil is laughning here nxx to me
convulsing on his knees
throwing first stones  like apples
behind a undiscovered treee
we was laughing cuz he was crying
and u cant remake already deceased
so he follows the blood to the ditch whre faceless sleeps
tongue rolled out of head when his eyes hit the ceilings
I killed Adam and ****** Eve
an all i ca n hear now is sum angels weeping and the devil breathing pull off my head to c if im dreaming want to
change and to destroy you in everything that isreading as nothing is to something and believing is to anything
crack the lips of blood and fold them just for a feeling
purple beneath the weight of her endlessly dreaming
strangled by spinal chords at the  crooked junction whr shes reading
to choke out all  common and coagulated treethings
that sit inside glass buildings constantly repeating
i was born into a cubicle dreaming
the numbers are connecting + replacing my feelings
airvents are molding and the towels r made of seaweed
i was born into this cubicle dreaming
numbers are connecting and replacing my feelings

oracle leave your windows open
out from my mind  
breathe into my heart
god went
widows vast sleep
black veil beneath the dirt
eyeless destitution
envy me a-wake
circumspect
swollen world beneath lids of glass
unable to stray  unwilling to relent
cold hands ofwind
reeving rain of maggots
wriggled warring past palms of dissonance
to feed them and to feed the earth that bore them
line fingers slip into pockets white glow,
bent backwards
through traps set in speaking walls
woven together wet red on lattice
ravagingthrough energy
paused
staring at a moon wolf dressed in drag
sputter out coughs in vain
when he hustled away some rain away
with bitter sentiments + cooling breezes
insects skitter blac the town  
human is old and slowly leaving
he rose like a god

light emanate grey and white below
blanket the stars in violet and warm
mass falls onto backs
ascending he smiled
light of a thousand suns
fill into the cracks
cobblestone and wood
heart cold and dead
lives beast again

white owl breathless beaming
pale is favored ghost
**** how you are feeling
when u feel it **** the most
breed evil when you’re sleeping
ghost finds pale is home
*** life under purple
is bareskin under bleeding vol
while you are wide away
sad poison smiles weeping
lungs sawwed off life precedents
for coffins that they’ll slleep in

white cube hovering
4 white walls
white ceiling white floor
doors scratching hangnails
at hand of Solomon
cats wailing in
rats scratching
littlest fears distance
white windows white halls
future engine
hide this fast future discovers all
white horse white falls
space cannot be agreed with
space is just to live in
embalmed in everything that matters
and world keeps trying to steal it

light emanates grey and white below ice
blankets the stars in violet and warm
mass falls onto backs
ascending hhe smiled
light of a thousand suns.
fill into the cracks
cobblestone and wood
heart cold is death
beast again

staring at the moon a wolf dressed in drag
sputtered out coughs in vain
when he hustled away the rain away
with bitter sentiments + cooling breezes
insects skitter blac the town  
human is old and slowly leaving
ressurected a god

cold hands ofwind
reeving rain of maggots
wriggled warring past palms of dissonance
to feed them and to feed the earth that bore them
line fingers slip into pockets white glow,
bent backwards
through traps set in speaking walls
woven together wet red on lattice
ravagingthrough energy paused

oracle leave your windows open
out from my mind  
breathe into my heart
god went
widows vast sleep
black veil beneath the dirt
eyeless destitution
envy me a-wake
circumspect
swollen world beneath lids of glass
unable to stray  unwilling to relent