I'm finding it really hard to carry on this way
My mind is a constant whirlwind
Of thoughts
Of unrealistic daydreams  
And memories
Memories of the things I loved most but I've lost
Memories of the things which are making it harder for me to carry on
The only way to get rid of them is to get rid of me
Maybe then Ill find some sort of happiness
Because right now I it's fair to say I'm fair from 'happy'
Just empty,          numb even

The scent of stale cigarettes
still linger on my sheets
but so does
the smell of you.
I can't make myself wash them -
it's where you used to be;
so I cling to them
as I would to you.

Toss and turn,
roll over
Too hot
Oh, too cold.
Come back
Come back,
let me hold you.

I kiss the back of your neck,
rest my eyes
knowing you're there.
But this morning I woke
you, no longer by my side.
I feel bare.

Without you,
My bed is bittersweet.

the way you'd call me baby

the way you'd hug me from behind

the touch of your skin on mine

the way you use to look at me

the way you were the only person to make me smile from a glance

the way you wanted me

I miss what we had so incredibly much and knowing that it's gone forever kills me inside

it's a shame

because I really did care

everyone has that one person.
the person they think they can trust
and rely on and share everything with.
until the day comes when you realise that they no longer have the want to listen to you when you're upset
or talk to to you until early hours in the morning
or even greet you with the everyday
"hey baby"
that day, you realise you're losing what you thought you would never lose
that day is the day you begin trying more for the attention you thought you would never need to fight for: from that one person you thought you would never lose