her bare knuckled eyes punch you
with the kind of hard hitting softness
that makes lesser men weep
shes one of a kind
in her junk food fashion clothes
that makes other girls hungry for her looks
shes eccentric in fun ways
dumpster dives for baubles and dimes
she is a work of art in the light that shines
she is most delicious when she just smiles
and cool peppermint when she just licks her lips
so let her show you the nirvana of her eyes
let her kiss your sorrows away
let your tomorrows be hers
let your world be her romance story

I'm afraid of being alone
For all my torture begins there
That's where all my thoughts come alive
And speak to me
Makes sense?
It doesn't to me either

They all gather around me
And begin a convention
Of my life from its very
Beginning to its present
The constant reminder of
What a failure I am

And all these thoughts
In just a matter of seconds.
As I hold my head in fear of
What my life has become
As I begin to peel my flesh off
As I begin to lay a knife near my chest

I wake up from this nightmare
But how can it be a nightmare
If its how I feel and think
All day everyday?

Alone
Webster says it means without anyone else
I say it means when your soul melts

Alone just isn't by yourself
Alone is putting your personality on a dusty old shelf
Like an old book that you've finished reading
You stand solitary and useless
And deep down inside your heart is bleeding

Bleeding from what? you may ask
A simple thing, just one little task
A quest for love...
A quest to live the dream that everyone around you lives
But you can't
Instead it's just you and only you standing there
Hopeless as you stand in front of that mirror

The heart yearns for attention that you'll seemingly never receive
But something inside tells you to believe
Only to be let down time and again
Love hurts. Love stinks. amen.

Your friends always tell you that you aren't alone
But that phrase has merely become a drone
Alone is a constant battle of ups and downs
But mostly downs
And you wonder if you'll ever find love

They say give it time, you're young
But isn't nearly 20 years long enough?
Enough to experience what God intended us to all feel?
20 years by yourself is rough

And after your apparently endless fall
Maybe it's best to leave the book on the shelf after all...