ogdiddynash

ogdiddynash Aug 4

And I’m never gonna use “and” in poem…oops

every day we make rules
for ourselves, gonna do this,
never eat that, drink less,
write shorter (ha!),
write
less, more, better, so as I edit
the preponderance and infiltration
of that word,
(that shall remain nameless),

it
plague my scripts, diminishes my
verbal acuity, curses my perpetuity,
inserts itself without asking, is a
rudeness to your host, an intolerable
sin that cannot be abided,
know now
that it shall be banished from speech,
daily conversation, a heretic, born to
die in The Void, spent superhero,
a place languages send there superfluous
constituents, to live, hopefully disappearing
via the Ark of Archaic…

weirdly, my writing pointer tips sudden
drained of blood, my composure and
composition disabled, when I hear a
sumptuous sobering voice declare:

Sit down and shut up

to which authoritative declarative
I reply:

“Yes, God, Roger that,”
adding,

“over and out”

#ogdiddy

ogdiddynash Aug 4

ever since seven ate eight

ever since seven ate eight,
cannot expect much
too much return on
my in-vestments,
given the hole in
my accounting.

five, six, seven, nine
is most unsatisfying,
like brunch.

brunch?

neither breakfast or supper,
assuredly not lunch,
pointedly ridiculous
if you don’t know
what time it is
by the meal’s
nomenclature

nothing sensible rhymes
with supper
except for
crupper
and scupper,
both of which
like brunch,
leave me confused,
wholey unsatisfied,
as I’m clueless
as to what each means,
just like,
brunch.

by the way,
do have the time?

june 2020

#ogdiddynash #seven #ate #eight

ogdiddynash Aug 4

when the kids were young

when the kids were young,
invested in fancy luggage,
cause we needed vacations
to get away from them.

These luggages,
had them roll to the number combination numbers locks
which was where technology
was back in
the nineteen eighties,
when I was a
young husband and father,
using the year of their birth
as a four digit code

of course, I programmed
them both incorrectly,
and they, those kids,
now adults maybe,
who can’t remember anything good
I’ve ever done for them,
but remind every time
they come to see me,
which is pretty much never,
about ******* up the year
of their naissance,
which is a
fancy french word,
for
“kids are a pain in the ***“

june2020

#ogdiddynash #when #kids #were #young

ogdiddynash Aug 4

we re-plant hydrangeas annually

we re-plant hydrangeas annually,
which our ravenous tick carrying,
**** deer,
munch contentedly,
under our window,
when we are sleeping.

In the last ten years,
today, I saw my first
solitary flowering accidental.
as I’m in poem mode,
it occurs to me that
the first line is incorrect;
for the sake of brevity,
it should read:

we retentives,

we re-plant hydrangeas
*analy

june 2020

#ogdiddynash

ogdiddynash May 12

THERE WILL BE BAGELS!

THERE WIL BE BAGELS!

<>
New York style, very large,
with burnished, glazed-ed crust,
almost meaty, a meal nearly self~
sufficient, with grapes of creamed
cheese, Scottish salmon, a repast that
states, that the week begins well, that

thus nourished, we are stronger, fortified
to face the onslaughts of life moderne,
our enslavement to the endless news
recycled cycle that flourishes and face
whips us with shades of disaster in mirrors
that will never cease to query us if this is truly:

our appearance
our best selves
our self~doubts,
refuse scars of
prior battles

my cafe porcelain mug of 19 oz. washes
away my unshaven grimaced grime of
mine mind, and I sally forth renewed,
meaty, slightly burnished, with a glazed
protective patina of a hardy New Yorker
who chews, spits out the chaff of noises
that serve only to efface my native rights to
optimism

#ogdiddynash #bagels

Mar 9

onlylovepoetry

How shall I introduce you?

Fifteen years going on sixteen,
well recall many pinprick
moments of our combinatory
existentialism

But an early moment reappeared,
in a period of contemplation as I
this morn, wove my way thru Manhattan
city streets, during my diurnal walk of
composition, a tradition Walt Whitman
passed on to me, in Leaves of Grass, so
over my Manhattan journey~obstacle course,
now a three times weekly endeavor, of
a two and one quarter miles duration,
this came unto me

Very early on, in our ro~dance
we attended some cocktail/
business function, properly attired,
a first for us, and thus a tad exciting,
and in the elevation machine at the
Waldorf Astoria Tower sky bounding,
she stun gunned me with the simplest
of positories…

How shall you introduce me?.

this nimble tounge, so rarely at a loss,
gave an intuitive and simple answer:
You are my girl friend, no pretense,
I proffered and she thoughtfully
replied,

While an absolute truth,
perhaps since I am a Nana,
over twice,
and you, a Grandfather
over thrice,
perhaps something less
juvenile is in order?

Mmm, perhaps you are right, then
let me suggest boldly to name you
as my lover, none other and let
their mouths fall agape so full
of their crackered
canapés?

She paused a moment on our ascent,
replying,

Undoubtedly true and such
a good lover are you, but the touch of ******
in many an impoverished mind, gives it a
tangy hint of the unseemly tho, b u t
if that’s your preference, lover will it be,
but perhaps wordsmith, you keep on trying?

Ah I knew a rejection letter when I got one,
so cruising higher, proffered a ‘my best friend?’
but her glance clearly indicated that suggestion,
wholly unworthy of my skilled verbosity and
more appropriate to a dodgy dog, if such I did
possess

The elevators of NYC, are sure and swift in
elevating its population, and a growling
desperado emotive was taking me hostage,
I had what is now a “3S look,” an abbreviation
for when I wear my Simply Stupefied Smile

Perhaps I may suggest that should the need
arise for you to introduce me in a phrase accurate
and simple, that might suffice?

Smilingly weakly, I, poet, awaited what surely
was to be an obvious solution to my wordy
and worldly failure,

Please introduce me as
Your Biggest Fan
and I shall, dear one,
if asked,
will offer you up as my
Only Love Poet

And to this day, when introduction~making,
I feel the sweet smile of an invisible and
silent kick in my humbled and egotistical
****

a mostly truish & lightly embellished story

#olp #introduce #waldorf #astoria #elevator

ogdiddynash Feb 17

switching sides (by Ogdiddynash (natsch)

no, not a political divide crossed.

no, not switching fandom to the
hated other crosstown team,
with the clownish bobble head
thing.

once a meat eater, a meat eater
for life.

stolidly, boringly straight, waaay
too late
to switch that side.

the switch referred to herein is more
profound, straining boundaries of a
decades long term relationship.

I desire  to switch sides of the bed we
sleep on, after decades of habit, that
transferred with us when we traveled,
moved etc. To each Our Side was the
Natural Order of Things, a higher law,
immutable, constitutional and ranked
higher than the Ten Commandments.

over time, my side sank beneath the
excess weight of growing old with
bad lifestyle habits…a bad back, an
aging frame, core muscles that seem
to have been decored, made a new
firmer bed a necessity,

when we called 1-800-Mattress, we two
social security retirees, were shocked,
shocked! at the hole in our budgets
such an expenditure required.  We would
be forced to survive on bread (brioche)
and water (Pelligrino) for weeks, our only
condimentable affordable would be margarine,
a pseudo butter made in chemical factories.

so, she refused.

I sank into deep despair, for who could deny
her finger pointing “J’accuse” where responsibility
for this truly lay (lie?).

marriage counselors demanded exorbitant premium
prepayments, Medicare said ha ha, and United Health
Care was united in their ***** opposable *******
but eloquent “Mais Non!”

As I write this, Climate Comservationists have confirmed
my sinking side is now receding at a rate of 4 cm/year.
The implicit implication was at the Great Melt Flood of 2050
that was coming to sink us, I would not be quietly floating down
the Hudson River out to a South Pacific isle, but would join Jason Bourne in the green crystal clear waters of the nearby East River, but unlike Jason, I can’t hold my breath for twenty minutes, ergo and ipso facto, I am doom-ed.

So I have started a GoFundMe to obtain a new airy mattress  capable of variable soft/hard differential setting on each side, with an inflatable air pumping gizmo just for the end of days.

Thanking you in advance and be assured lol your contributions will remain not anonymous.

Yours, Extra, Sincerely,

Ogdiddynash (Ogdiddynatsch)

the reason why my name has a variant spelling is because some in our family Americanized our Germanic uprooted spelling when
we came ove on the Titanic

#switching #sides #ogdiddynatsch #ogdiddynash