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and here i am again
at the intersection
of pedestrian language
& old wives tales
swallowing gum
like 7 year memories
opening umbrellas inside
cause i can't seem get away
from all of this rain
i ******* with my left hand
cause i was told
back in highschool that
"it feels like someone else is doing it"
it gets me wondering
about the difference between
losing you and finding out
that some one else found you
or my sleep
or lack thereof
its starting to tear me apart
i keep having this dream
where you are in
an unfamiliar body of water
trying to wash my poetry
off of your hands
or the one where
something happens in my chest
every time you sit
on someone else's bed
i'm tired of feeling like something you've misplaced
but don't have the heart
to look for anymore
tired of you saying my name
like you're trying to bury it
i'm tired of wondering
if you can tell the difference
between the absence
of my voice & silence
the other day
i almost started sobbing
at work when a woman
asked me about
our equipment
i was explaining how
things come apart
and almost mentioned your name
it made me think
of how you used to say
things like "what would you do
if i showed up on your doorstep
one day?" now, i haunt
the windows in my house
i don't leave for weeks at a time
i sit on the porch like the dog
you didn't shoot behind the shed
the one that refuses to die
until you come home again
i told somebody once, that
you didn't even know
what my voicemail sounded like
i wonder if they thought
it was because you
are so important that i never
let it ring that many times
before picking up
or if you dont know
what it sounds like
because you've never called
you can't be the ****** weapon
and the search party
i'm tired of all the seats
to the ferris wheel in my chest
being empty
tired of your voice
being the one i look for
in abandoned places
that one sound i beg
to bounce back
down vacant hallways
i just seem to stand there
in all of that quiet
like someone looking for a mistake
on an eviction notice
so i guess the hardest part
isn't letting go
it's forgetting
you ever had a grip
in the first place
and since you've been gone
i wonder if when
you pushed yourself away from me
you used your left hand
so it felt like someone else did it
And the summer sun has moist my back with light kisses
But with the rain's light laughter they're washed away
into the gutter of disappointment.
 Apr 2014 Ocean Damsel
 Apr 2014 Ocean Damsel
You are a rainstorm in an Arizona summer.
I don't know whether I should hide
Or bathe in you.
 Mar 2014 Ocean Damsel
Theia Gwen
I don't care where
Or how,
Or when,
Nor what,
Nor why
The question to me is who
The only variable of my first kiss
I care about is that the lips I kiss belong to you
So I'm going out with my boyfriend today and apparently he told one of my friends he was going to try to kiss me so kinda freaking out.
 Nov 2013 Ocean Damsel
Losing you was hard
but Alice
you have found
© Natali Veronica 2013.


One of my family's dogs died recently, Alice was her name.
Cancer stole her away from us. Devastated and heartbroken.
She's free from pain though, one of my dearest angels.

Alice found Wonderland. Miss u so much it hurts :(
 Nov 2013 Ocean Damsel
Night Knows
 Nov 2013 Ocean Damsel
The night* knows my secrets.
The night knows my past.
The night knows my memories.
The night knows my dreams.

The night* knows me too well,
almost better than I know myself.

The night has witnessed my lows,
all the tears, all my inner fears.

The night has seen me collapse,
more than a thousand times.

Relapse, smile, repeat.

That's become a routine.

Smile, cry, sleep.

It helps, but only so much.

No one sees my emotions collide,
except the oh so peaceful night.

Smiling is painful at times,
which is why I adore the night,
the cold breeze putting me at ease,
until my tears are dried up and I fall asleep.

Looking at those stars in the sky,
how they shine ever so bright
they have become a comfort,
*along with the beautiful night.
© Natali Veronica 2013.

Yet another poetic vent. Enjoy!
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