Give me a hit
Let me bathe in that gin
Got too much ****
laden too heavy with sin.

My *** is my crutch
Broken heart and broken soul
burden too much
now broken down not whole.

give me some poison
let me cure this disease
inside I got a demon
who just won't give me any ease.

something to numb the pain
stop this clawing deep inside
**** my heart **** my brain
my euthanasia satisfied.

I just wanna run and hide
From all the bad desicions
But the demons haven't died
So let's continue to blur vision.

Cause It won't go away
the demon's, here to stay
the pain isn't subtle,
so I'll shut up.
but hand me another bottle.

Run run run, from the falling rain
seeking shelter from the struggle
seeking shelter from the strain.
Hop hop hop, across the empty streets,
running from the water's bellow,
running from the water's feats.
Gasp, gasp, gasp, as you see a yellow light
                  you let out a final sigh,
as your heart looses it's last fight.
Pain, pain, pain, your bones seem to cry
the tire tracks on your body,
the tire tracks where you lie,


Alas the rain drops have come to say goodbye
You are important to them.
They're here to watch you die.

You rejoiced in my love,
        and reveled in my embrace
  
And so, I will love you as well.
       I will embrace you as if
                I were freezing
       I will kiss you as if
               I were starving
And I will love you as if,
It  is the only thing I know.


But once I'm done,
You will soon realize,
the most painful thing,
about falling in love;


Is when you hit the ground.

I seek solace in the accompaniment
of the lonely three legged bar stool.
I sit, lean and rest myself upon it
And rely on it, like I never could with you.

I speak with the barkeep,
his words comforting and kind
he leaves to serve others yet returns
he returns like you never did.

I drink spirit after spirit,
as it eases the pain
and keeps me warm
something you can no longer do.

Being a star is hard work.

As I shine all through the night,
keeping up my brilliant light,
and struggling to be a pleasant sight.

I realize,

there are so many others
that are
alight.

Being a star, is hard work.

To admire is to look afar,
to stare at the distant evening star.
To admire is to keep away,
hold your selfish feelings at bay.

To admire is to give them space,
because your feeling is but of disgrace
To admire is to stand your ground
to mere weakness and shame abound.

But to love,

To love is to draw close and near,
to hold you now and hold you here.
To love is to grasp on tight,
lest you be lost on stormy flight.

To love is to breathe you in
your mind, your heart and your skin.
To love is to exist in you
in every single thing you do.

To love is to give all you can,
and only ever stop to ask "when?"
To love is to remain unbound,
as it's passion is the most beautiful sound.

To love is to hold you in me,
till almost the same we would be.
To love is to give me to you,
and my heart stay steadfast and true.

To love is to stay by your side,
come hell, heaven or high tide.
To love is to experience hate,
but despite that to love more due to the strait.

To love is to always uplift,
even in a sea of sadness you drift.
To love is never to be blue,
for all I need is to look at you.

A young boy who wanted to fly
Outstretched his wings and jumped to the sky

Though he knew that he would fall.
Better to have failed, than not tried at all.

My throat can get awfully dry lately.
I suppose it is from water loss.
I ask you to pass the water from
across the table.

But I remember what happened.

And instead he stands up to get it himself.

The black crow looks like my
newly bought suit and tie.
Black from my head to toe
He looks hungry, that crow.

The suit's itchy and tight
but just ever so slight
like the hand holding hard
but fails to keep me guard.

I don't know the girl's name,
All people look the same.
At least I know my toys,
there lies all my last joys.

Lonely birthdays are here
I'll be ten next year.
now I wish to go home,
Lie in their bed alone.

I know she and he
will not be there with me
because I'll leave them here
inside earth under sun clear.

My hands sweat and shake
due to the nervousness of
holding something dear.

Her heart beat was a war drum.
It bumped and thumped,
as soldiers marched forward
to die for something they loved.

It's sound was a hum of life
such as the crashing of waves
as they break upon the shore
it lied in the beauty
of dependable repetition.

With every contraction
it delivered life.
One would've expected
the burden to be too great,
after all it's not always
that a heart must beat for two.

The seemingly burning circle
is the halo upon my head
and the cold metal trigger,
delivers my medicine of lead.

The warm steel is my epitaph
of resentment and regret
as my frigid body embraces
this relief giving threat.

Should my spirit leave my flesh,
be happy for my spirit's best.
For I continue to live on all around
My spirit now remains unbound.

I go on in the drops of rain
I go on in every piece of grain.

I am in the sun and in it's dawn
I am in the insects that everywhere spawn.

I live on in the sky so blue,
I live on even in the morning dew.

I exist even in the brown of earth
I exist even in every child's mirth.

Though I die and pass away
Put your restless mind at bay
I live on in this world, I tell you that's true.
I live on and on, even in you.

Oh dear angel of death
give to me my sweet ****.
A drug I need, a drug I lack
I need it now to see more than black.

Long ago I used to see more
but now my hopeful eyes grown sore.
Too much wait and too much strain
Looking for happiness is too much pain.

give now to me my drink
my tolerance is now on it's brink.
I feel uneasy with no poison in me
soberness will be my ruin you see.

I need the feeling of ***** on the rise
shroud my heart in excreted disguise.
The feeling helps me not to think
that is why I choose to drink.  

I need my drug I need my drink
Inside my body let it sink
I need to **** the things inside
the dark creatures that in me hide

So give to me my Novocaine,
I need it now to keep me sane.
Paralyze my body, paralyze my heart
Because in truth I've fallen apart.

The lights dim low,
a pathetic attempt to mask
the true beauty and art
that beholds in the darkness.

The music rises and the colors flash
the names flash like mosquito bites
they don't show the real important
names of faces in the room.

The actors dance on screen
like dust swirling on a highway
insignificant as compared to
the distraction that entrapped me.

The explosions pale like
a small flashlight pointed
upon a vast starry night sky,
it's brightness drowned by subtle beauty.

And the ****** of a kiss,
a mouth-watering scene
in slow motion looks like
a high speed chase compared
to my hand as it creeps slowly.

For what use is the dawn,
without the darkness of dusk.

For what splendor is the summer,
without the ravage of winter.

For what is the finest grape,
without time to ferment and age it.

All lovely things,
grow lovelier,
with a sense
of longing.

The chocolates scattered
and spilled upon the table,
are reluctantly melting,
as they lie beside
the half-opened, half-eaten,
half-emptied
heart shaped box.

Body of beauty
body of grace
******* neatly
in a bow of lace.

hands making haste
mind and body in a rush
lips yearning for a taste.
by cheeks red from blush.

Unwrapped, revealed
what's underneath
an explosive treasure
now unconcealed

Boiling blood and bile.
Images that announce
The opening of your lips.
Short tempers and hot heads
Soon come after.

Screams shrieks and sighs
Your gifts to me,
rapped in a pleasant
Scathing remark.

Words like rolling tanks
And with a formula for pain,
You pick the cocktail
That will do the most damage.

He brought
The beloved
golden ring
down to
the pawnshop.

Roommate Wanted;
Dorm includes:

Kitchen,
      With complete set of
      appliances and a table
      meant for two.

Living Room,
       with a coffee table , tv
       and the sofa we used to
       watch movies and cry on.

A Bathroom,
      with hot water and
      lonely showers.

A bedroom,
      with a half empty
      king sized bed

And closet space
     which used to house the shoes
     you walked away from me in.


For inquiries please call this number:

Oh symphony of swirls sweet and sour,
Sing of simple solutions to a broken heart.
Save me oh saint and savior of sullen souls
Save me so my soul may survive another battle.

The truth I won't contort,
But your **** is like this poem.
Short.

Tattered torn jeans,
with a box as a home.

Pleated, pressed suit,
with a box as a home.

The only difference,
is how it looks.

A sheep drowned whole
in color black.
Stripped clean of all,
naught but his soul.

My blood has robbed
All past power
My blood has pushed
Off Babel's tower

Alas my castle
a cage has turned
for my deliverance
my spirit yearned.

The time of which
I may once leave.
The time of which
My burden heave

The sheep's spirit
in tatters lie
in color black
the stench of dye

He was never this way
He grew into position
He was never this way
he once had better disposition.

The sheep he screams
as the dye once again nears.
This time with a stench
Of unmistakable permanence.

How different would
a man's life be.
Should he have never
met the sea.

Not know would he
of water's breath stealing sight
or the waves tumultuous melody
or the sun as it sinks into night.

Lost would be such a delight
often overlooked by normal man
to bare witness to a great might
and revel in a marvelous plan.

When did we grow up?

When did we stop crying,
and start pretending we were okay?
When did our parents
stop asking us what was wrong
if we were silent?
When did the world
with all it's pressure
start telling us that we should be able
to bear it's burdens?
When were we taught
not to cry out when we needed help?
When were we made
to smile and nod
as the ever present necessity to succeed
claws at us with it's poisonous fangs
and gnaws at our already mangled body?

When did we grow up?

Why do we want to be read?
Is it just to feed our egotistic
fame obsessed mind?
To engorge and devour
positive criticism
like lustful hormonal
teenage boys
******* and whacking off
to every semi naked female?

Or is it to share?
To hope that somewhere
out there,
that there is someone that feels
the same way you feel.
That there is someone that sees
the same way you see.
and there is someone out there
that knows what your going through.

Because in the time that I've been alive,
I've noticed
For a planet with 7 billion people on it
it's really easy to feel alone.

I've learned
That if someone can hear you
it doesn't really mean he's listening
that if someone can see you
it doesn't really mean he knows you're there
that if someone can touch you
it doesn't really mean he feels you.

I've learned that whether
it be inches or miles
distance is distance.
It's all the same without effort.
And it'd be the same with.

I've learned that even if it's summer
even scorching hot
and the heat is making you sweat buckets.
It's all too easy to feel cold.

so for whatever reason
you're reading this
or writing this
or listening to this.
Keeping reading
keep writing
keep listening
keep looking.
Cause you'll find someone
Someone that can see with you
be with you
feel with you
and exist with you.

May yosi at may asap
Blankong tingin at sipat
Salamin na pang loko
Kulang sa balbas pa no.

Nag aaral ka pa ba
ang tinanong niya sa
Isang batang maliit
Oo po, sagot ng paslit

Parang karaniwan lang
Kung hindi natuluyan
__

Cigarettes and clouds
Blank stares on looking
A fake mirror and guise
Given away by a lack of ****** hair.

"Do you still study"
He asked
The small boy
"Yeah", said the young one.

As if it were normal
Should he say no.