being labelled with the worst symptoms by your doctor
does not really help, except it gives you a qualified permission
to be gentle and kind to yourself.

smothered in suffering
a skin and bone torture chamber

where muscle is a twisted oak
- the mind a hellish ride

until the offering up in union
is wrung from the depths of your soul

having a diagnosis can help the mind
even if in your heart of hearts you know it to be wrong

it changes nothing of your condition
but helps somewhat in your interaction with the world of man.

escape(wake)
by not-these-hands
(a metronome-of-thoughts)

facesglued //
to the(wall)all(talking)—at once;
witchesarguing  theirselvesbloodshattering
(not my fingers-on-the-trigger
but oh the bulletssscreamingmyname)

i cannot move
(is this asleep-or-awake?)
//paralyzed feet//(paralyzed hands)
&shewasonfireESCAPEwake—

the fields are a maze //crop-circle scars//
—journeysdark,deepsearching(purpose)—
shatter:
everything (silence
sCREAM)

escape–wake//escape—wake
butwhereisheaven?
wake.