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 6h nivek
how do you name
this kind of strength?

the thing she loves most
shatters her, irreparably

shards sink to the depths
drowning she dies there

then recreates herself,
returning to care for it
I don’t see my wings
I don’t know what they do
I just flutter around
Innocently admiring the flowers
Naively dancing with others
Marvelling at their beauty
Then I remember the butterfly effect
So I stop, silently
For fear of causing a hurricane
 7h nivek
 7h nivek
Truth was a breath
of cold November air
Escaping from her soft lips
Truth was warm
a breath of purpose
A spoken word
Tasting sweet nuance
A fresh, crisp blow
of season's new flair
Something so subtle
yet undoubtedly alive.
 7h nivek
A candlelit rage
Dances in Shadow and Light
Flickering our flame.
the flower  left undisturbed
by the bee,
but yet a part taken,
a part
stolen to
feed its wants,

you were like that,
coming in dreams,
never realized the destruction
until after the war.
Im so ******* done with feeling this way, I am so done with always begging and pleading with others to hold me, to love the soft tender parts of me, as if admiring all that makes art beautiful, this stupid society obsessed with youth, and money, and looks. How can I find myself, when I do not know who I am. I am stuck here fearing death, death of others, and aging, will I realize how beautiful the swaying trees were when I am 92? Or will I die tomorrow with unpublished dreams, unpublished aspirations, watching time eat away at my face. I want to be ok. I want to merge with god,  and I want him to cradle me and tell me he loves me and tell me I did ok, that I tried to find the good in others, that I was nothing special but I tried to find beauty, I tried to be kind, **** this **** this sm.
 1d nivek
 1d nivek
if i could talk to myself,
from roughly ten months ago,
the first thing she would do is cry.

if she could talk to me,
roughly ten months after,
the first thing i would do is speak.

if she could hear
all the things i did to keep me from collapsing,
maybe she would be proud.

if i told her
that i finally spent my time prioritizing myself,
both of us would unite in that idea.

there's nothing wrong
with being vulnerable.
it doesn't make you weak.

it only prepares you for other greater battles in life.
 1d nivek
A place of love and laughter,
Of smells of food,
And tummies full,
With delicious pasta meals,
Memories that feel so distant,
I really wish I was back in Nonna's kitchen.
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