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Today I fell out of like with you dear.
Although I still hate not having you near.
I'd rather nothing, than a version of you;
that's neither loving, nor coming through.

For I won't settle - for just attention.
I need unity, in shared direction.
You know I like you, yet you fail to give,
your time and presence - jealousy instead.
I'm not convinced that you know how to love.
No one paid no mind
To the tears from this man
That land at my feet
Creating a quicksand
I couldn't slow the rate
At which it would expand
Leading to the scars
At the base of each hand
I know what you think of me
But this wasn't part of the grand plan
I tried and as usual
I was not able
To help you understand
That I just wasn't capable
Of being a "real man"

©2024
 Nov 12 Nick Moore
Kuro
I wish i could explain myself
Fully explain myself...
Stop delivering pain to myself
Be deliberate, and save myself
Instead of filling out the page by myself
Speak in full sentence to you by myself
I'm tired of being lame by myself
Not interested in fame by myself
So the emotions on the page are for myself
I wish i could give them to you myself
Explain why i need all of you to myself
I sorta need saving from myself
And you know what else...
I'm getting used to it being me and myself.
I often think about
How he took you to
That filthy motel and
Made you bleed just
So that he wouldn't
One of my best friends got pregnant when she was a teenager. She was very scared, but wanted the child anyway. Yet her ******* boyfriend (the father) took her to a motel and made her do an abortion.
She never recovered and took her life within a year... no woman should be forced to do an abortion. Just as any woman should be forbidden to do one.
My children want me
To put up the Christmas tree
And sing Christmas carols with glee
Right through the year for free
For they believe the Christmas Spirit
Should just not be confined
To a single limited season
But throughout the year
For a good and noble reason
This world definitely needs
Christmas’ true spirit
Of love and peace
Throughout the year
And I will give them
Gifts of verse
Throughout the year
Actually, the kids want fun throughout the year.... Lol
Once a good opinion is lost
You never get it back
My husband and I met
A Lady with two dogs
while walking our dog

A new found friendship
Our friendship was inchoate
Vague still developing,
Not precisely clear
Enigmatic equivocal

Yes, I really enjoyed having a new friend
There were little warning signs
Little bark a little bite I paid no mind
She Lived alone, very lonely.
She asked for my number right away

A couple weeks past without incident
One day out of the blue, A text message
Saying mean angry things hard to hear
Some truth ,I immediately Apologized
I am sorry for having offended you.
That was not my intent.
I’m quick to call for a truce
an inferred armistice

She persisted, bullying controlling
in such a way Admonishing My behavior
Per decorum my way is to stay quiet
Mole over Contemplate Simmer
Let the immediate Intensity, die down
Hold my tongue don’t trade insult to injury
What did I do wrong? I was confused, hurt

She interpreted my silence
as me ignoring her feelings
demanded confrontation text ranting
Grew, Bolder The intensity increased
Do you realize your behavior?
It’s really rude, you need to modify your behavior, extremely disrespectful maybe your husband doesn’t care you treat him that way, but it bothers me that you do
Your husband hardly speaks.
(Well, that’s his way he listens).

Incessantly repeating
You need to modify your behavior.
You need a course correction
You’re rude controlling
Do you realize what you were doing?
I forgive you, BUT, IF
I decide to still walk with you

I you NEED you to Acknowledge your faults modify your behavior. She continued
You need a course correction
I tried to tell you what I’m going through but you didn’t hear me so I stopped trying.

Both my husband and I knew nothing of
what she claimed not an inkling
Thanking time apart, to cool the feelings
I countered with
well we’ll see you when we see you.
That was met with
Now you’re controlling
making your own plans
You need a course correction

I felt Backed in a corner to continue
a friendship with land mines IF I don’t talk then I’m brooding, sulking acting wounded IF
I talk unknown pitfalls land mines. It will
Happen again she’ll Explode blows up.

My only recourse end this tumultuous situation. My husbands thinks perhaps
 she might be bipolar or worse
He had dealt an unstable ex girlfriend

I am extremely unsettled by this situation
I pressed to find out what I did stupidly
Thinking, rational conversation could fix it

The main offense  was speaking when she was talking, I think at times we all do that
But I generally liked her and listen to everything she said. I gave her things
A coat for her dog it didn’t fit my dog

She has an ex-husband, their seven-year battle in court the adult children, all sided with the father. I did not want to know more. in retrospect perhaps she wanted to tell me The sorted details. I’m not a gossipy person, and I don’t dwell in the past. My husband and I were content with the hi, by light hearted friendship we have developed

when she tried to pit my husband and I against each other that was the dealbreaker
I hope she’s OK. I generally care for her well-being, but there are limits. I don’t wish Ill-will I will be courteous, passing her in public, but we made The right call
I’m hard-pressed to know if I’m trying to convinced you or myself I am unsettled why

Walking in the park is my time with God
I just want to walk my dog in prayer.
Smiling at friendly faces everywhere
I’m hard-pressed to know if I’m trying to convince you or me I am unsettled why!

Inspired songs
1) Goodbye, Stranger, by Supertramp
2) goodbye by Kenny Rogers
3) goodbye, my friend, by Linda Ronstadt
4) i’ll remember you by Sarah McLachlan
5) You’ve got a friend
by James Taylor and Carole King duet
BLT Webster’s Word of the Day challenge
11-11-24 Armistice an agreement to stop fighting war.
Bonus inchoate 11-9-24
not completely formed or developed, vague, not clear, expressed and definitely stated
Footnotes
This situation has weighed heavy on my heart. Do you think somebody would think so little of me. I’m not perfect. I have faults but I really was trying to help a lady who had no electricity lived on her own and walked 2 1/half miles just to go to the park with her two dogs. She looked underweight and was struggling financially. I trying to help her look to her as if I was trying to control her. If I spoke and she felt she was still talking about some thing I could work on. That probably goes back to being one of the kids. But it was not intentional. Maybe I apologize too quickly. I’m just not interested in confrontation, but I miss my friend Even. each day, I would call her to see what time she was gonna walk her dog to her that was like really controlling the situation, but I was willing to change my schedule to work around her schedule. Although there were times when my husband said no, we’re going now. I think that bothered her. That was the iceberg the tip of the iceberg. As it is.
All of this silly drama unfolded while we were on 20 minute walk today and that was the extent of our interaction. It was always platonic superficial. It’s hard to take a deep look at yourself see what you could’ve done to super vent the situation. my husband on the other hand says he knew something was off from the beginning. Why didn’t I say that I thought I had a new friend
So many pieces of 4x4 paper
So many names written on every one
So many needs that cry out for prayer
So many reasons for tears that will come.

People with illness that doesn’t get better
People still grieving for one that has died
People knocked down by the trials of living
People with terrible secret to hide.

Countries in shatters from climate change fury
Countries in rubble from war’s evil blasting
Countries all broken from the rumble of earthquakes
Countries who wonder if hope can be lasting.

So many villains afoot in our country
So many rifles in teenager’s hands
So many attacks on our family tree
So many arriving from far distant lands.

So many times we kneel in the morning
speaking the names of all those in need
Hoping that God will somehow be listening
And not turn his back on us as we plead.
ljm
Who do you pray for ?
If mental scars
were rungs
on a ladder
It would
stretch up
into heaven
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