I learned long ago
That we all belong somewhere.
I belong to the Hurt
To the lost
To the broken
To the depressed
To the angry
To the empty
To the hateful
To the hopeless
Who knew one day
I'd belong
To the **healed

Am i pretty enough?
Do i need to change?
Does my wieght satisfy you?
We are all stuck in an abusive relationship
Because when we free ourselves from society
We are the ones who bring negative words
Whether your beautiful or not someone judges you
Whether it be yourself or
The world we live in
We stay in this abusive relationship becaue
We think theres no way out
And im afraid there's not

I feel so safe with you
Which is different
Because you are known as
A heartbreaker
But somehow I trust you
Somehow I don't believe
You'll break my heart
And I hope you don't
But if you do I'll be okay with that
Because I knew the riskes
Yet I still choose to love you
The way I hope you love me
**I just hope you love me as much as I love you

"I've been shot" ,
That's when I pulled the trigger .

Im afraid of commitment
Im afraid of losing
Im afraid of losing you
Because I won't committee

I just feel that the only way  
I can release my pain is through writing
I write my heart out in hopes
That it will bring me closure
Maybe some answers
Like why ?
Why is life so cruel to me ?
Why is it that when I lay in bed all I want to do is cry ?
Why is that I seem to mess up everything ?
Why is that everything seems to go wrong?
**Why ? Why ? Why ?

Who am I ?
Im that girl you
See with a smile on her face
Im that girl you
Always assumed was happy
Im that girl you
Didn't know existed
Im that girl you
Passed in the hall and never noticed
Im that girl who you
Saw around school
Im that girl you
Used to be friends with
Im that girl you
Called names
Im that girl you
Never expected to pull the trigger
**I'm That Girl

You're* so different to what I know
You're so different to what I like
You're so different to what Im used to
You're so different to what Im in love with
But You're different is *perfect

I loved you
And you loved me too
But for all the wrong
**Reasons

Not many people understand me
And that's okay because
I don't want to be understood
I don't want to be a
Basic picture I want to be
A complex painting
I want to be unreadable,
Unpredictable
**I want to be different

I put up with your lies
Your *******
Your abuse
Your criticism
Your stupid stories
Your hurtful words
But thank you because now
I know what not to look for

With each memory a piece is shattered
The past slowly walks inside
And leaves disquised as tears
Tears that slowly rush down your face
And leaves you with no emotion
But most important tears that prove
Bad memories dont fade

I hate the night
Because once my room is dark
I cant control what happens
My thoughts run free
My heart races
I hate the night
Because thats when my fears
Come to life
Where being alone isnt
An option
Where my weeping sounds are
Not heared
I hate the night
Because it makes me think
Of you
Of our laughs
Of our smiles
Of our every moment
I hate the night

There your body hung
And all you left was a note
And all it said was *I'm Fine.

The world is full of violence
Now I don't write this for change
I write this for myself
Let's face the truth
We rather be in gangs than
Be in a study groups
We rather laugh at others than
Stand up to one another
We rather live life in fear than
Try to make a change
We rather be slaves of our government than
Fight for equality
We rather feed the ones with food than
Feed the less fortunate
We rather educate some than
Educate all
We rather take pride in our horrible nation than
Realize we're doing something wrong
We are the violence this world
Is full of

It's always easier to write about your
Emotions then talk about them
So here I am writing away
Unsure how this will help
But certain I should at least try
I've been confused lately
Maybe I just haven't found myself yet
But I hope I find myself soon
Because I'm beginning to feel ...
**Afraid

If I tell you this secret
Do you promise
To tell no one ?
If I whisper this
Into your ear will you
Promise to never repeat it ?
The truth is I'm lost
Unable to see the light
Unable to see any good
I'm a worn out sweater
Worse a dying batterie
I'm an abandoned soul just
Left here to die

With age comes wisdom
I'd rather not know anything
Than have to experience the pain
I rather be ignorant
Than be all knowing
Why ?
Because when you don't know anything
All you know is **Happiness

When I was little I used to say :
I hate pink!
But now I say :
I love pink!
And although it's not much it shows
How much people **change

I once viewed silence
As a cruel thing
I once was scared
Of silence
Thats becuase it never
Spoke to me
Now when I sit
In my room and silence
Is all around me
It speaks
With the sound of speeding cars
Or even the sound of the breeze
It speaks to me
In ways words never could

Society says* I'm ugly
But I say I'm beautiful
Society says I'm dumb
But I say I'm intelligent
Society says I'm fat
But I say I'm the perfect size for Me
Society says I have too many flaws
But I say they make me who I am
Society kills me
But I remain alive
*Society says but I say different

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me
How true is it when words are what are keeping you awake at night
How true can it be when your constanly worried about society
Why not say the truth and admit
Words cut deeper than knives themselves
Weapons **** and words do too
Thats why will live in a world full of violence
Because the simple words we say
We listen and we let the words cut deep
So why arent insults banned when guns are
Why is it that words are what make us drink those handfuls of pills
Or tie that rope to die
A gun is just a simple weapon because words can **** too
So yes sticks and stones may break my bones but words will **** me

I feel angry
Confused
But never
AFRAID

When I laugh
My pain goes away
So why not laugh
A little longer

I hope for things that cant come
I dream for things i cant reach
I wish for things i cant have
But when laugh
I laugh at
The little hope
The pointless dreams
And the stupid wishes
But when i frown
I frown at the lost chance
Of my hope, dreams, and wishes
So when i hope, dream, or, wish
I laugh
And frown

What do you regret most in life ?*
The moments I regret the most were you
The moments I shared with you
The moments I wasted on you
The moments I thought about you
The moments I cared about you
The moments I regret the most
Was any moment that has do with
You
Including every poem
I made about you,
Because you were
The only thing that
Motivated me
I regret it the most
…
All of it

I loved you
Over the horizons
I loved you
From the sun and back
I loved you
As much as the countless stars
I loved you
More than life itself
So please,
Dont Love Me Any Less

There
Is No
Such
Thing
As
Normal

A laugh says a lot
A smile tells a story
A frown shows emotion
A crie tells your fears
Yes they all are alike but
They are different somehow
A frown and crie show how you feel but
A smile and laugh hide your true feelings
So yes the are alike they all show something
One is just the truth and the other is a lie

Why cant we look at everything
As a blessing
Instead we see
How it is a curse
We look at the wrongs
Yet never the rights
A loss for us
Is a blessing for another
Why cant we be happy
Why cant we laugh at
Our failures maybe even
Laugh at our pain
Why cant we just be happy

I laugh at my pain
Because there is
No other way
I smile at my cuts
Because it pushes
Back my tears
I find joy in my pain
And that hurts
Because I looking
For an easy
Way out

Time heals
Everything but
Memories

Your told lies and expected to
Tell the truth
We say we rather have the truth but
We can never handle it
We say lies tear us apart but
Truth can more
We lie to protect so
Maybe secrets are good
Maybe life is better off with
Some lies but too much
Brings us here to the horrible world
We live in now

All she saw was
White
She was dead

A tear flows and another follows
Im numb to the pain
Day and night i hear
The angry chants
The so helpless young love that
Shattered
The nights are worse and
It makes me think
Was it real love
Maybe just a fantasy
Was it a crazy dream that
We thought was possible
Maybe it was a silly thought that
Kept us going
But there are times when i think
Maybe it was real
Maybe our love is real

This room is dark
Not a single ray of sunlight shines
But every once in a while a small light appears
The light so small yet able to make things so bright
This room is dark
But there might be a chance of happiness
Some just small enough to smile
Some just large enough to laugh
This room is dark
Full of dark happiness