Each turn a reflection of the last
All too familiar
When will you realize
Your deja vu is just redundancy

Let it be know I let sand fall through each crevice
And when you watch it all fall
You don't count the grains until about 10 left
I count it like seconds
As the texture slowly leaves my nerves like a girl you hate (love)
Those with cancer, suicidal ideation and a beautiful wife
Become aware of their fleeting beaches too late
So they make snow angels in it
Slowly sinking beneath instead of standing up
And the sand awaits the next eager, quasi-benevolent boy
It is a line to the beach, I check my ticket number
"21"

Sight: Her salmon pink skin on her sage green dress
Caught my eye every time

Touch: The way her warmth flowed to me
Made me feel fire once more

Scent: Her 5 dollar cotton candy perfume
Lifted me from my feet like a pie window side

Taste: The bitter lemon chicken we had cooked
Rested on her lips when I came back for seconds

Hearing: When she'd sing, my god her voice
Was better than every song I did and didn't hear

So much so, I had forgotten my sixth sense

there she stood as a mighty redwood
so tall and ancient
only to be fell
laid there so harmless
and they will strip her bare
she will be your furniture
your house
your toothpicks
and you will/do not think of her
only what she could be for you

Carry me with your waves
I cannot separate thoughts from it
Your exterior
I bite into it, that's where the addiction lies
Creo que sientes lo mismo
Even your aches I think of every aching moment
This is the devil, but i am done with heaven

What can you write about a woman that hasn't been said yet?

Do you tell her things she's heard in past lives or ones she's yet to hear in future lives

I do not worry about redundancy

Instead I will learn ways that cannot be replicated

Languages that have yet to convey such meaning

I will be the wake: the light, the dawn

the cosmic inclination to summon you

with the hope our stardust collides again

one time my dog brought me a squirrel he had half killed

and I stood staring at it quiver, half alive, with a baseball bat in my hand

dog barking and my ears shaking

and I couldn't bring myself to do it

I watched it die and laid its body adjacent to our creek

I will not be an angel of death

Does my name strike you in the chest
like arctic wind on bare skin
or a heatwave from an oven door


Or have the memories and associations turned to blank
An image to picture
A scent to happenstance
The words to just sounds


Did my face fade to another then to silhouettes then to shapes
only to appear in a restaurant booth or each puddle along Route 8

Carry with you that piece of me however small it may be
even if my name is just another outline amidst infinity

I wonder why
Why a sunset evokes so much emotion
I sat on a hill facing one
I knew it would be back the next day
But it felt like the world was ending

When the anger seeps from my eyes
I breathe
I breathe and think of your heart
Beating in your chest as I listen
We are so close in that moment
Yet still I feel neglected
How to kiss and love
To tell me you have doubts
My dreams have dreamt through you
Your eyes
I have seen us
Only us

I saw you staring
Out of the corner of my eye
Like a vulture at a carcass
You sat next to me
And kept staring at me
You tried to speak
But i did not hear (i did)
I was a fool
i will probably not get to see your hoop earrings again.

I wish I could spill out onto a page
melt into the lines
and give you the meaning that way
but I am confined to words
these auditory hallucinations impersonating symbols
Maybe you could find it in my eyes
But I think you'll never find it at all
Not until I am words on a sheet
with two dates
one of air and one of earth
Should you shed a tear
feel fire too
Feel for the world as I could not

Autumn, fell into you
fell in love and your arms
and let the dam break open
and the tears flowed like sweat
like sweat when we were so close
treated everyday like our last because it very well could have been
and then it was
we didn't notice the trees dying
so human
the conifers watching
watching us frolick in the remains of their deciduous brothers

A whisper in your ear
One last time
If it all were to cease
Would I cross your mind
Past that initial time?
For me
You'd be that sunset
The one that never goes away
Would you notice
The star that has already faded
Its light barely reaching your eyes

You ask a man to be a mountain
That his face is perfectly chisled into it
And his body to be stone
That his legs be strong enough to hold the world
And his feet to be rooted to earth
You forget the mightiest of rocks
Collapse overtime with rain
His tears will be never ending

A dog park of all places
you loved dogs very much
more than yourself
Oh if you could have been a fish
A panther
An alien
An idea
I think you'd have known your impact
One of a meteor birthing a 100 mile crater
All I got from you was the blues of your eyes
Like an ocean that seeped endlessly
Endless, you were

I watch you from your window
Your angel
How you move, how you breathe
Sewn into my eyelids
Why can't you see me
Just look, only for a second
But for now
I am your shadow

I know not of what I write
As it does not come from me
In fact I'm unconscious
My heart is writing for me

a man who lives in semantics

who ignores colors and exists monochromatically

wept when he could not solve his problems

he spent so long with the flower under the microscope

that he never got a chance to smell it