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grinding myself hard onto your unzipped pants
i imagine clipping into your body and
shattering your programming
our lips meander into each other breaking
california law,
and simultaneously
finding anatomical peace
your **** thrusts through slacks an angry fist
and I wonder how eager my mouth looks on you
******* the decade between us
bridging the age gap with a rope of *****,
lip to *****: in awe that I am
capable of making you ***
silly and heavy with excited hands
i fumble with my pants,
tucking my knees into my chest to slide them off my feet
my stomach disobeys me, spilling out
holding onto something desirable of mine so tight
you crush my fleeting abstinence
 Mar 2016 vanessa fonseca
r
O moon
 Mar 2016 vanessa fonseca
r
You big bonehead.
0525
Snort repticalc and mashed up altoid
Have fun with some friends in God’s portwine stained forehead wrinkle
Imaginary time and poison thumb I like
Natalie rips some Earth nuts from soil
Ripping out the toxins and crackin it open with your her teeth
Clapping laughing and crackin nuts and cookin crumbs in pressure cooker
Bad dreams in your frozen water bed
Damp in the ceiling drip and trickle onto papas
bald spots, plastic mickey mouse cup collecting
ceiling leakage
peanuts and marmite froze over lickin frost
***** wrist grunk trash youre rubbing frolicly on the placid table
I cant believe the glass aint clean
Looking not out a window
But a piece of glass reflecting the city behind me
And my band fall out of place
When the old man sneezes
I get pushed aside because the marching band needs me to move and
Im only so talented
dead Chihuahua smell coming from the basement
a parallel universe where there’s one extra atom
with lana del rey on repeat
and jesus was a comic book character too
knuckles breathing fight stance
contraposto counter position backwards and
upside down rubber band army march
a thin breathing kettle with 0 durability
and a plastic bent tight so it’s white, pink, spotted
palamino dress and champagne skin
the damp gets to me
again again again
fingerless gloves for fingerless tom
.
cutting off my cellulite
going to carve it into
little figurines
of dolphins
“delete history”
I think it’s pretty gay for a bunch of sweaty queers
To be sharing spit w/ each other
In a ******* closet
I think my ***** smells like macaroni
I used to ******* to animals beign tortured
I used to tell my mom
Im not pretty
Im not pretty
throw rocks at your garage
"BAAAMMM"
It’s hard to come up with 4 things at once,
I want to play violin in a bathtub at 4 AM
Because 4am’s cool
And it’s not really night or morning
It’s just stinky
Im just a kid with their stinky feet on a splintered stool
Watching suite life of zack and cody
In a pair of boxers they/i haven’t changed for like 3 days
I have a bic pen bumper sticker tattoo on my ***
You made me **** your **** and feed your bunny
And you made me hate white boys
I generalize
I forget to feed my tortoise sometimes
I don’t forget to feed myself
Im not cool and skinny and white
Im fat and
I never forget to feed myself
I eat the stuff on my body
Im my own **** tree I beare my own fruits I think you
Should get used to how GROSS I am
I got heartburn
In all the wrong places
I got an ache below the waist
and a cold sore on my heart
"Hey, we've never really talked."

I imagine surviving an earthquake.  

"We never talked."

I dig my nails into something red.

"We've never really talked."

I cough.

"We never talk."

I wipe the spit off my lip.

"Hey, we've never-"

Rewinding the VHS for the next customer.
 Sep 2014 vanessa fonseca
r
thunder
 Sep 2014 vanessa fonseca
r
i still try to remember
to take my boots off
at the door

my feet are wet
from walking in the rain

i leave laetoli footprints
on the pine floor
-like the first man

trying to walk upright
but can't seem to
get it straight

There's a lot of empty space
in a house
so full of quiet

wishing for thunder.

r ~ 9/5/14
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