when she brushes her arm
against mine and looks at me
with love in her eyes and
with the willingness to hold
my hand, i die a little on
the inside.

you can only run for so long
until you find that no matter
how far you get, the demon
that haunts you will always
be sewn to you like your shadow.
i need a piece of hope,
something, just something reassuring me
i'm not as crazy as i think.
maybe the wind has been
whispering to me this whole time.
i am just a leaf that has fallen,
but i promise as always
i will he back in time for spring.
until then i will become comfortable
with disappearing for the winter,
and who knows, maybe when the snow melts and the eerie chills of this brisk season are exiled, i will return as something more beautiful than any other leaf...

because that leaf will be me.

i can see it clearly.
us two, on the sail
because the world
is far too easy
to get lost in
(just one more wave).

we sit in the same
color palette and
sell riddles like
venetians. and
as promised
i'll show you my world
but i'm sure you're sick
of hearing about yourself.

you said you wouldn't hurt me,
but your words left bruises.

imagine opening doors to an abandoned universe

i am the fine print
                
          behind every choice

you will

           make

my heart is necklaces
tangled in a forgotten
jewellery box. no one
has the time nor
patience to untangle these
chains

but then you came
along to undo this
havoc, taking each link,
pulling it apart one by one

finally these chains can
shine like they once did

thanks to you.

pour out your guts to me like a ***** sweaty poem on the sidewalk of a dark street in the ******* part of town

i question everything because

within my mind is the
constant fear of lonely

so i doubt often

like if what you say is
truth or a plea for my sanity

touch your lips
to my skin
let me feel
and take you in
wrap your arms
around me tight
whisper sweet words
to me all night

i'm not going to
bury the past,
i just need a
change of setting.

i remember when i was young
and would connect the freckles
on my mother's leg like it was
a game in one of those silly children's books.
thing's aren't like that anymore...

"why must everything change?"

i'm just a withered flower dying to
know what it's like to finally feel alive.
i want to be home.
my yearn for a placeholder.
this town swallows me whole, willingly.
shocked or overwhelmed.
i bustle underneath my bed only to find childhood memories,
but emerge to something more wishful.
home is but a variable.

i'm left to choose.

i live for the moments
that you clasp my hands
tight like you're worried
i might float away.
the times your lips can't
contain your love when
you're close to mine.
the ways you find to hold
me when i'm too far
away to be held.
the things you do to
remind me that your heart
is my home.
the places we will soon
declare as ours like our
interlocked fingers are explorers.
i'm alive with you.

we hate ourselves equally
but we love each other
it works out quite nicely.
my ground level confidence
and harsh insecurity
melt together so perfectly
so you sweep them up
like broken glass in a desolate kitchen.
i’ve built a wall around myself
but it’s been promptly torn down
villagers storm in like the shore
you’ve finally caught me.

i suffer from
that kind of
sadness that only
creeps in the
darkness of night,
forcing tears out
of my eyes.

                      i suffer from
                      that kind of
                      sadness that swings
                      like a pendulum
                      in your ribcage
                      for days, destroying
                      every heart vessel,
                      that soul-blackening
                      sadness.

you are the 3 a.m. ghost
that wakes me from my
deep slumber.
you haunt me in the most
beautiful way possible
and i just can't get enough.
your scent moves swiftly towards,
i hide just to deny the fact that
i am completely drawn to it.
give me your hand before i cower
back to my safe place
because life is scary at times
and you are the only one that
makes me feel some days are
worth living.


i can finally breath,

                *i can finally thrive.