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Today, i let myself cry hard over some stupid things. I was sooooo annoyed to the point na pag iyak nalang nagawa ko. It felt really heavy kaya bigla nalang nagburst out. Naawa ako sa sarili but at the same time mas nainis ako sa sarili ko kasi hinayaan kong ganunin ako at hinayaan ko sarili kong maramdaman yun when infact i know i am better than that. Kaso being the same usual me, mas pinili ko nalang manahimik, umintindi at umiyak. The feeling of Being taken for granted is sooo distressing. I always feel that way and believe me i super hate it but what i hate the most is the fact that i dont have the courage to stand for myself which led people around me to think that everything is okay with me. At times, I really want to be selfish and btch. Nakakapagod ding maging mabait. :(
10/21/19
Everything that’s happening in our lives, even the smallest ones that we barely notice, has its own reason. We may not know it yet, we may feel confused and even ask ourselves why but please know that soon everything will fall into its right place. For every milestones and downfalls, for every happiness and heartbreaks, and for every solace and pain comes a purpose, greater than what we planned and expected. We just have to be patient enough to wait for the right time, strong enough to accept that we cannot have everything we wanted, brave enough to conquer our deepest fears, wise enough to overcome every challenges prepared for us, and firm enough to walk away from those who doesn’t want us to stay. Don’t ever lose hope. Everything happens for a reason.
akala ko may pag asa,
sa bawat matatamis na salita.
akala ko may nararamdaman,
sa bawat masasayang kwentuhan.

akala ko may mahalaga,
sa bawat pagsabi mo ng ingat.
akala ko may paghanga,
sa bawat mensaheng natatanggap.

akala ko ikaw na yong pinalangin.
akala ko ikaw na yong para sakin.
akala ko ikaw na yong hinihintay.
akala ko lang pala lahat.
every sip quenches thirst,
bitterness taste in mouth,
vision becomes blurry,
the world seems spinning,
whole body felt numb,
emotions starts pouring out.
She was once whole.
full of love and Happiness.
met him and gives her all.
but leaves her life like mess.
this day has finally arrived.
no more sufferings and pain
but longing and mourning remains.
regrets and what ifs comes after.

memories will always be treasured.
all the good deeds will be remembered.
saying goodbye is the hardest
but i know its for the best.
for my dearest tatay
bakit tayo umaasa?
bakit ang dali nating maniwala sa bawat kataga nya?
bakit ang dali nating kiligin sa bawat lambing nya?
bakit ang dali nating lumambot sa bawat haplos nya?
bakit ang dali nating magtiwala sa bawat pangako nya?
bakit ang dali nating mahalin sya kahit wala namang kasiguradohan tayo'y mamahalin nya?
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