I'm left alone but it's okay

At least you kept me company

Even if you're not here;

Words few and random,

Yet words meaningful to me.

Words cut short;

Not more than beautiful lies.

Even you have to go,

Yet again I'm left alone.

Listening to laughter I wish I had as well,

Joy that I wish I grabbed when I had the chance;

If I had taken a whole different path;

A haunting thought.

Frightening, yes, but also comfortable;

Thinking I should be happy after all that happened,

Yet I'm not.

*Peculiar.

Listening to my own noise;

Foolish.

Craving help,

Yet never asking.

As I see your world;

I might just stain it,

Take away time and waste it.

I'm being left behind;

It ain't your fault.

Don't bother.

I'm not worth anything, anyway.

With hapless weight at the other end of the chain,

Fallen down,* forgotten.

**It would be nice if it was at least remembered.

12:27.

A **** holy time when my mind shouldn't be thinking of such things;

Yet here I am,

Frail and desolate.

An uneasy heart and a volatile head;

I could just explode.

I could just cease.

I, I could just—

Never mind.

Never mind not knowing.

Never mind not being here for me.

You,you couldn't listen anyways.

At least you'd keep me company.

Just like a room dim lit.

I wish I could've put
A capo on 4
So that we can sing the tune
That felt so real before;

Or maybe it should've been
The capo on 7;
The pitch when we fought
And decided to call it even.

An unlikely key,
A capo on 3,
Can't decide if I should be relieved
Or hurt when you left me.

I wish I should've gone
Like the capo on 1,
An unfulfilling venture;
A bitter Love's run.

I know we've never talked in person;
Dumb, right?
Though once we open the chatbox
We'll talk like long met acquaintances

I know I've said a lot of spontaneous ****,
You'll patch them up with yours;
The moment you typed those random words
It instantly meant something to me

I told you when I wanted to die.
I told you that would be the last.
Yet you peered through me,
Saved me from something I thought I wanted.

It ought to be awkward;
A way I can't fathom,
Yet you talk like nothing's changed;
Comfort I needed.

We talked boring days and sleepless nights,
We talked shows and music,
We talked about lives,
We talked about us.

"Hey"
"Eyyyyy"
"Thanks for keeping up with my ****"
"It's cool I talk about random **** too"

"Hey"
"What's up?"
"I hope I'm not botheting you"
"Hey, it's okay"

"Hello"
..."hey"
"gotta go"
"wait, I—"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
*Never mind

I wish you'd say something;

I wish you'd say the words I'm dying to hear,

I wish we'd talk like we used to,

But we won't.

The more I try to push it,

All the more that I'll destroy it;

A friendship.

I don't even know if I mean anything at all to you.

I wish I do.

But that's a request near to never.

...we haven't even spoken yet.

Here's to hoping it won't **** me deep inside;

"...hey"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
*"√"

Fazed;

Blacked out.

Woke up with scars,

Left from mindless spurs.

Yet blamed.

Though it is my fault.

I still don't know why I do this.

Now I'm just dragging other people down.

I try to make up for it;

The more I do the more I'll drag others deeper.

The more I become honest the more I destroy.

Erratic slashing,

Woken up by a stinging pain,

A nostalgic feeling.

Blacked out.

*Fazed.

Must it be this painful?

Eluding salvation;

Looming over but never in reach,

Ordinal mess;

Distraught.

Red, painted red;

Amidst a room tinted pitch-black;

Must it be this unbearable?

A burning feeling in my chest,

Thrashing.

Incandescent rotting;

Cut and bleed;

Cease and desist.

Analytical confusion;

Torn to shreds with an order.

Hapless;

A fuzzy head thought full yet thoughtless,

Roaming an abyss so quiet

Stars can be heard gushing through the wind.

Inevitable pleading;

Salavation, eluding.

I've found a soul I've known before;

A soul I recognize yet one I am not familiar with;

A soul I've had a glimpse on,

A soul of a poet.

As I know your secret, I'll keep it sealed.

I hope you keep Mine as well.

We're all poets;*

We all ride our tunes.