i know i said it wouldnt matter
if its not you and me in the end
but some nights the what if's and could have's won't let me sleep

and the stillness of the hours before sunrise
remind me of the stillness between us,
unsure words and hesitant conversations

and in those hours
i still catch myself
wanting

You,
with your
blue eyes that pierce through me,
that puncture through my defenses.

You,
with your
razor sharp gaze that slices me to pieces,
that cuts through to my soul.

You,
with your
sidelong glances and furrowed brow,
have captured me
quite thoroughly.

i love you,
but you don't
i'd give everything
but you won't

you're my sun
but to you
i'm just a light

it hurts a lot
but i still hope
that maybe you'll feel
what i'm feeling towards you

i want to give up
but i can't
and i don't even know
why

maybe because,
you can't teach a heart
to stop loving someone
who doesn't love you back

Another day alone

And this life grows wearisome
Going through the motions
Eat, work out, golf

I hope Jesus comes back
In my lifetime

This life is exhausting
Its the isolation
That is difficult

Maybe I'm just always tired
And have chronic fatigue
Or something

And my shoulder
Ugh