I dream about nothing but lying naked on the beach, feeling nothing but the heat from the sun

and your eyes

i know that you saying i'm the only reason you're still alive is meant as some sort of compliment or whatever but holy **** that just broke my heart

because i can't even carry myself, let alone you

i don't love my job
i don't love my studies
i don't love my town
i don't love my relationships
i don't love myself

i am so ******* done with not feeling love
all i feel is sad
heart cripplingly sad

i don't want to feel nothing any more

i told you about the demons i've told no other about
and you were there
stroking my scars and kissing my thoughts
you were there with wine when i told you my worst memories
you were there

and where the **** are you now
or who are you ******* now

telling her what you told me
it will all be okay
i will always be there for you
we have eachother

*******
your blood is nothing but cheap beer and *******

i ******* hate you
and i ******* miss you
****

why aren't you here?

i pray you don’t repeat as everyone else has done before

and throw me away like the **** of your cigarette

I can’t help but hope that maybe one day,
I’m the reason

Your eyes light up ten times brighter,
Your pupils dilate twenty times wider,
Your heart beats thirty times faster,

Just like they do
When you talk
Oh so lovely,

About her