I dream about nothing but lying naked on the beach, feeling nothing but the heat from the sun

and your eyes

i know that you saying i'm the only reason you're still alive is meant as some sort of compliment or whatever but holy **** that just broke my heart

because i can't even carry myself, let alone you

i don't love my job
i don't love my studies
i don't love my town
i don't love my relationships
i don't love myself

i am so ******* done with not feeling love
all i feel is sad
heart cripplingly sad

i don't want to feel nothing any more

i told you about the demons i've told no other about
and you were there
stroking my scars and kissing my thoughts
you were there with wine when i told you my worst memories
you were there

and where the **** are you now
or who are you ******* now

telling her what you told me
it will all be okay
i will always be there for you
we have eachother

*******
your blood is nothing but cheap beer and *******

i ******* hate you
and i ******* miss you
****

why aren't you here?

i pray you don’t repeat as everyone else has done before

and throw me away like the **** of your cigarette