Scrolling through hair...
Weaves, videos,.....
Beautiful and unique...
But why oh why do you continue to drain my energy...
Maybe because truly you are a waste of time...
Maybe truly I am wasting my time...
In my mind lies an ideal life...
As I try to make it come true...light bulbs die
And I feel dullness within my soul
.....do you know what it feels like to have a question mark all over your heart
Almost blocking all real feelings
I don't know what I want out of life
And I'm unsure if what I want is true
....that surely is my truth
And is that not okay?

I walk through the halls with awaiting thirst souls...
...I too a thirsty soul quenching on the blood of man kind
The disgusting drips of society
As I **** it...in the moment so sweet...so ******* tender
....then I feel the raft...aftershock spreads
What have I done I ask...
And God says nothing...
You are man..imperfectly perfect...
You are valuable in my eyes remember that...
I reply with silence...

Parallel universe...
It's like a real solid glass that I like to peer through...fantasizing of a day where it comes to life
...a day where I live in a parallel universe...perfect in every way
Where boys chase me...where I'm happy 24/7
Where I feel **** and loved
....where I'm confident
....but parallel universe eh
U don't exist
...u do not exist
Your a waste of my mind
...so many values you contain robbing me of my identity
...you instill this idea of perfection...an idea of "happiness"
...but I read somewhere yesterday that happiness...true happiness is hard
You go through **** and you find yourself ya know...
But when it's easy and you feel comfortable...
Such as being confident only because everyone else sees good in your heart...no **** that your face cuz society is *******...
But my God is existent...and so is my life and so am I
All of those are real...
God is all I need

What may my purpose be...
As a fifteen year old girl I'm lost honestly...
...I mean the world seems so clear to me now
And I feel myself getting pulled in
But confused on a direction...
Should I follow this man. Or this route...where in carnation do I go
Who do I trust...
Do I listen to the girl calling me a ******.
Do I  listen to my Mom telling me to make friends...
Do I listen to them...
How do I truly let go and trust God...
Lost I feel.
Lost in my own emotions.
...one step at a time my child
One task a a time
God takes care of all...
He looks after all...
Under one condition...faith
Faith in him and in your task...
Believe...
And conquer..
Go for it child life only comes one time around.

I am free.
Free to smile,
At whatever makes me smile,
Free to dance,
Whenever I want to dance,
Free to sing,
Wherever I want to sing,
Free to run,
However far I want,
Free to love,
Whoever warms my heart,
Free to be,
The person I am for no reason,
Other than that it is who I am,
That it is who I will always be,
And that it is the one thing I don't need to explain:
Me

New..sance
New since
My heart truly feels like a nuisance to my soul...
It beats but in harmony with my soul..? I question
I question my genuinity...
My life, my purpose..like one if I'm wasting...
...it's like how does one remain calm
How can one be themselves without thinking about it
...I crave the day where I am free from this zombie apocalypse
A day where I can wake up and breathe...
Smell flowers not weeds
Wake up positive and bright
Salivating the moment in its glory...
But fantasy I tell you this day that I wait for Is false...
It's not a lie but it's a dream...
I know dreams come true but...when it comes to your heart...
That my friend is real and you come to know that fantasies are not welcome there...

Rage in the midst of the fire...
Hear I wriggle and squirm in the middle of the sea...
You know what **** this....
I'm so tired of writing what I feel like I should
Or writing because I feel like it's my thing or because I have to..
Writing just may not be for me
I may just be a blog person...
Or maybe not a writer at all and that's mutherfucking okay..
That is ******* fine....