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How
How will you know that i love you....

When you don't even wanna listen...
 May 2016 mhelows
Kalesh Kurup
Got your wire asking me to meet;
The wire that travelled rounds to reach me
Weeks or even months to reach me
After all that while you waited me going
From where I have now traversed abound

Years didn't know what months held within
Months didn't listen to day's throbbing
But we boarded the same space and time
It wasn't crowded with any ‘other ones’
Why didn't you meet me then, me around?
Why didn't you meet me there, me waiting?

Silly or serious, the moments we digressed
You turned your back and switched me off
Making up, I sat by the side, hands feeling
I knew you were pretending asleep;
Then slowly gone to an indifferent self
Why didn't you meet me there, by your side?

Remember all those questions I asked?
Of compulsions and convictions of yore
When you wore an eerie silence as answer
Looking away saying I don't want to respond
I had waited for you there, for long
Why didn't you meet me there with the answers?

Remember all those things you have hidden
Things that changed my takes on life
On trust, respect, love and sorts
You slept over them and woke up afresh
I stood there unslept; carrying scars ever after
Why didn't you sight me so, there?

We were walking along and away,
Not knowing the long pauses we took
Two souls trapped in the same maze
Crossing and nodding days after days
But more as strangers; on a courtesy call
I wish you stopped and met me there.

Now that I have been on this travail for long
With miles to go for that unknown destiny
And a lost way back in labyrinths of mind
Meetings won't be of hearts anymore;
Would set us only on old routes we loathe
So wait no more on your wire...
 May 2016 mhelows
Ash Rose
Losing a friend,
it's the hardest part.
Sure, my heart aches,
and the tears stain my face.
But the worst feeling, the most pain,
comes from knowing
I'll never have my best friend back again.
 May 2016 mhelows
Ash Rose
You know what they say,
that you never know what you have 'til it's gone.
And now I know that is the truth.
All this time, I thought
that I had all I would ever need,
but now I see that was a lie.

One more time I hear you say,
you don't wanna hurt me, but it's too late.
Walkin' away, the tears on my face,
knowing you'll never be mine.
I know I said that I'd be okay,
but the truth is I don't know how...

And my heart breaks
with the words that are coming out of your mouth.
I love your honesty,
but right now I can't take it no more.

All I want is to see you
and to feel okay for once,
but I know it's not easy to adjust.
Is there something I can do
to just enjoy my time with you,
or something I can say to change your mind?

One more time I hear you say,
you don't wanna hurt me, but it's too late.
Walkin' away, the tears on my face,
knowing you'll never be mine.
I know I said that I'd be okay,
but the truth is I don't know how...

And my heart breaks
with the words that are coming out of your mouth.
I love your honesty,
but right now I can't take it no more.

One more time I hear you say,
you don't wanna hurt me, but it's too late.
Walkin' away, the tears on my face,
knowing you'll never be mine.
I know I said that I'd be okay,
but the truth is I don't know how...

And my heart breaks
with the words that are coming out of your mouth.
I love your honesty,
but right now I can't take it no more.
lyrics to another song I wrote recently
 May 2016 mhelows
Florence Maude
They can't tell how the other feels,
They can't see that there's something real.

What bitter sweet tragedy,
That they can't see.

She secretly loves him and he secretly loves her,
A mystery how such thing can occur.

They don't tell one another,
How much they love eachother.

Such a shame,
That life had to put them in this game.

Keeping the truest of love apart,
Never giving it the chance to start
This time last year,
I was looking for answers and chose not to fear.

Now, I haven't found the answers yet.
I can't even move on and forget.

I'm getting worse.
It's getting worse.
Everything is getting worse...
#depression #frustrations
I am longing to see you,
To be with you, to hear your voice,
To see your smile.

I am longing to talk to you -
Long talks as if the world around us stopped.

I am longing for you..
Can't you see it in my eyes?
#longing #frustrations #expectations
 May 2016 mhelows
Got Guanxi
airless
 May 2016 mhelows
Got Guanxi
air

in the holes where your eyes are supposed to go,
I saw a friend, I saw you feed a soul.
No more.
Now, left in pockets of you,
those moments that I used to know;
echo, cold, a black hole echoes.
Backwards,
falling back to earth
where silence grows in the atmosphere until there’s nowhere left to go,
but home.
The patterns clear,
falling down.
and getting up,
to fall again
and shed a tear.
And we have grown.
Some say we are insane, the dark arts.
Where fear is the mind killer,
each breath is an overspill of death
and I have no time left for air.
 May 2016 mhelows
Got Guanxi
The smell of wood polish;
sprayed unevenly on the counter top,
brought you back to life.
Back down from heaven and earth into my mind,
where you had evaded me for the longest time.
An aroma of you.
My Great Grandma.
The Greatest Grandma,
I smelt that wood polish and your memory came alive again.
For one final time.
I closed my eyes,
I was a child,
and it was almost like
you came back to life.
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