After a while you begin to realize
That life is what you make it
That he really didn't mean it when he said he would love you forever
And  that it'll be a long journey back to finding who you used to be
After you decide to give in and let go
Finally say "**** it" and not care about the rest of them
Because you realize that no one else matters
Except for you and what you think of yourself

After a while you begin to realize
That if you would have just said no
Sent him home and not allowed the advances to happen
You might be a little less damaged
A little more capable of taking care of yourself
But everything changed after that night
Even though that night wasn't the beginning of it

After a while you begin to realize
That your past does affect you
Whether you want it to or not
That the night he took advantage
Left you more messed up than you could want
You don't know why he did it—
After all he's blood—
And relation should have drawn the line
Way before he decided to stop

After a while you begin to realize
That you're stronger than you think
You've been to hell and back
But it's made you the person you are today
And you wouldn't take it back for the world
It might sound strange, wanting the bad with the good
But the mixed bag makes life interesting
And makes you ready for anything

After a while you begin to realize
That you're ready to take on the world
It might be scary
And it might come with some bad
But you know you can conquer it

Hey
I know it's been a while
Since we've last both spoken.
I'm doing fine

                                            Except
I miss you sometimes
When I least expect it
I'm not really sure why
It's not like we were anything special
Maybe it's the look in your eye
In that one moment of vulnerability
When you tore off all the layers
Of protection
That you pull so tightly
Around you
Perfectly hiding you
Making you invincible from the world


Did that scare you?
That I saw that side?
Is that why you didn't call
Didn't leave even a note or an inkling
That you had the slightest interest
Or was your interest only for those few
Moments together


Like magic
Engulfing me completely
Intoxicating my senses
Filling me to the brim
With you and the possibility of more


More that will never come
Because you won't let it

I want you to know that I go
From spurts of anger to pain
When I think of you
And what we could have had
Sometimes I still hold hope
Before remembering
Stupid girl, it'll never work


You make me the highest of highs and the lowest of lows
And you don't even know it
Funny
Because I don't want you to
You don't deserve that
And at this rate you never will


Well this is getting long winded
And it's something you'll never see
Because really why would you?
You never even think of me!
So I guess it's time
To finish what I have to say
There's really nothing else
Other than
Goodbye

I hope when you look back
On the life that you lead
That you have regrets
That you're proud that we were brought up well
With good manners and a good temperament
But that you hate the fact
That every time you were mad
For absolutely no reason at all
That every time you went off the wall
And lost it all
You were losing another part of us

I hope you're proud              
That you gave us the best--
Education,  toys, and material things
But recognize
That all we really wanted    
Was love, time, and those things
That you can't give back to us now

You lost us
It happened a very long time ago
You didn't even realize it
Will you now?

Now that you won't be a part of my kids' lives
Or mine after this
Now that I'll get as far away as possible
Just like I couldn't
It'll be a lonely one for you;
I hope you realize it
My only question is:          
Looking back on your life
Was it all really worth it?

Silence and ***** looks
That's all we seem to be now
It used to not be like this
But it got like this somehow
We went form being best friends
To you barely looking my way
What did I do to deserve this?
Was it something I did or said?
Is there any way to resolve this?
So I don't lose my best friend…
Could we put aside our differences
So this friendship doesn't end?
Because you see this is really hurting me
I can't stand to be treated this way
It happened in the past
Where a "friend" stopped giving me the time of day
I wish that you would talk to me
So we could work whatever this is out
But instead you're just ignoring me
And constantly shutting me out
Hopefully we'll resolve this
And maybe be friends again
And maybe one day I'll be able to
Once again say that you're my best friend.

I’m ready to break open like a glass shattered into a million pieces
I don’t know how much more I can take before the pressure will make me crack
I feel their eyes on me, watching my every move
I know that they want me to make a mistake, they need it, they thrive on it
But I can’t do that, I have to keep pushing forward
I can’t let the pressure get to me, not yet
I can’t let them see what they are doing; if I do then they will win
I can’t let them win, THEY WILL NEVER WIN

Head
I cant get you out of mine
Even as hard as I try
I think about you night and day
Waiting for your next reply
I wonder what you're doing
and if you think about me too
If you would ever want this to happen
Or if you've even got a clue

Over
They tell me to get over you
That you're no good for me
That really I'm just fooling myself
That this will only lead to misery
But it's not that easy
When I've fallen this deep
You've caught me in your spell
And I'm hoping it's me you'll want to keep

Heels
This is how the saying ends
I've fallen "head over heels"
I never knew it could be this dangerous
I never knew that this was how it feels
Maybe there will be a day
When you can feel the same
But I'd like you to know this is all your fault
And there is only you to blame.

I never thought you’d make me cry
Until the night you asked
You asked me if there was anyone who could possibly see you
See you the way I’ve seen you for so long
My heart is aching
I want to shout
I feel defeated
Defeated because you can’t see!
See what I thought was so apparent
So I'll sit here and cry myself to sleep tonight
And admit the defeat that I never thought I would