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Apr 2017 · 356
Surrender
Melanie Beth Apr 2017
Somewhere beyond --
that first complete, naked, honest truth
we shared in the moonlight
and the eventual half-truths full of
holes of omission
in the years that followed --
is the place we are in now.

You could be suffering
Clinging to life
Wasting away ever so slowly
and I would never know;
because the truth hurts, or so you say
when you say nothing at all.
We sit in silence.

You have become so absorbed
So obsessed
with protecting me,
my innocence, my love
that the version of you
you want me to see is too perfect;
he's not the man I fell in love with.

Where are your flaws,
your insecurities, your doubts,
your struggles with yourself
and the world? I miss seeing them
in the moonlight as we drive
purposefully nowhere.
You can trust my love with your life.

Marriage is more than a title,
more than late night talk shows on TV
with Chinese takeout on the couch.
It is a lifelong commitment,
a promise to be each other's
first line of defense against the world
and a place to call home.

Marriage is reliving those very first
complete, naked, honest truths
and marveling at the fact that
we are still here.
It is a continuation of that
raw, selfless vulnerability
and a promise never to run.

Marriage is a covenant of love
a love that keeps no record of wrongs
no matter how few or frequent.
A love that trusts, hopes, and endures
because this Earth
was never where we were meant to be.
I love you.
May 2015 · 380
Come Home
Melanie Beth May 2015
I know you love me
I can see it in the way you smile
   When I tell you I'm happy and content
I can feel it in the way you hold me
   Nuzzling the neck of your little spoon
I can hear it in your carefree laugh
   When I tell a joke no one else finds funny
I can smell it on your breath
   When I kiss you and inhale pheromones
I can taste it on your tongue
   Melting your sweet words over my heart

So why won't you come home?
The words "I need you"
   Have completely lost their meaning
And nothing I do tonight
   Could ever change your mind
I'm writhing in the pain of your absence
   But you think my pain is unbecoming
I know you think there's always tomorrow
   But baby what about tonight?
The words "come home"
   Fall on deaf ears
Mar 2015 · 686
I want you to feel my pain.
Melanie Beth Mar 2015
I love you
And I want to hurt you
and make you sit on your bed with your head in your hands,
pushing on your eyeballs
trying to hold the tears in.
I want to make you anxious
and make you check your phone every ten minutes
And I want you to feel a sinking
in your heart and stomach
each time you do.
I want to frustrate you
to the point where you can't sit down
and instead must pace back and forth or drive in circles
Because **** it there must be
some way out of this.
I want to build you up
and tear you down by your innocent and fragile heartstrings,
dragging you carelessly behind me
but holding on so tightly
Because I love you.
Jan 2015 · 483
Wrong
Melanie Beth Jan 2015
You can do no wrong.
You could walk on water
if you tried.
Sometimes I forget
how perfect you are,
but I needn't worry
because if I point out
one single flaw,
you will be sure
to put me in my place
and tell me
just how wrong I am.
Jul 2014 · 422
Everything We've Lost
Melanie Beth Jul 2014
I have lost all inspiration
to write about those silly little feelings
that dance across my lips
when you kiss me,
because, baby,
I just don't feel them anymore.

I have lost all motivation
to clean up after myself
and to impress you with my beauty,
because, baby,
I know you'll love me either way.

But I have not lost all hope
that someday, somehow,
we'll find
everything we've lost.
Melanie Beth Jul 2014
You need not say a word
To draw a tear
My heart does that for me

You need not strike me
To make me bleed
My heart does that for me

You need not abuse me
To inflict pain
My heart does that for me
Mar 2014 · 1.3k
Raspberry Sparkling Wine
Melanie Beth Mar 2014
Raspberry
Sparkling wine.
The bubbles tickle my throat
and I giggle.
I'm not much for wine
but this stuff
is different
Unlike you...
I wish you were different.
I wish you would keep caring
unlike all the others
that just
stopped.
But I guess I have to give you
some credit.
You kept caring
far longer than most.
You held my hair back when I puked.
You drove 500 miles to see me
on more than one occasion.
You brought me flowers
on important days
and ordinary days.
You kissed me when I cried.
Feb 2014 · 579
Intoxicated
Melanie Beth Feb 2014
Stabbing small ordeal
Betrayed chills clinging
Dependent
Remember
Threatens, turns, tongue
Destruction piece
Bliss loving,
Crave,
Fading features
await despite circles
ungracefully snap--
Caressing loneliness
Read, dare, try
apology--
stained.
Starry rush
composure probably
nagging,
closed slightly,
fighting.
I wrote this by going to the page of words I've used in my poems, closing my eyes, and picking words at random, one at a time.  Very slight modifications were made in a couple places, but all words come from poems I've written (and the words with dashes had those dashes in previous poems).  

For some reason I love how this turned out.
Feb 2014 · 323
On Your Way
Melanie Beth Feb 2014
I'm imagining
the pavement blurring beneath
your brick heavy eyelids,
middle of the road
becoming more of a guess
than a goal,
grasping at thoughts
to keep the monotony from
monopolizing what memory
you have left.

That sound, that awful sound
that sometimes picks up
the second you've silenced it
in your mind,
is back again and driving
you insane,
the bane of the trip
on which you've been
for far too long
already.

So let me tell you how to quell
the endless feelings
you can't escape
before they suffocate
the essence of
your heart -
I have auburn hair
that glistens in the sunlight
and hazel eyes
you won't be able
to fight once you're
a few too many
drinks in
Feb 2014 · 460
Fall In Love
Melanie Beth Feb 2014
I wish I could fall in love again.
When I'm falling,
the way my heart beats
amazes me.
It sends blood pulsing through my veins
and adrenaline coursing through every nerve.
It makes me feel lighter than air
but worth my weight in gold.
I want to feel
like that again.

And at this point, I don't mind
where that feeling comes from.
I don't care
if I find it in the same place
I've been prying it from
for the past twenty eight months,
or if I find it
somewhere new.
Nov 2013 · 796
Your Favorite Color
Melanie Beth Nov 2013
I keep thinking about
all the things I forgot.

Your phone number -
long deleted -
started with a 3.
Or was it a 6? Maybe 2.
The only thing I'm sure of
is it had seven digits
and made my heart race
when I saw it on my phone.

Your smell
and how it lingered
now escapes me.
It was unique and spicy.
Or was it sweet?
I keep thinking I've found it again
but end up second guessing myself.
If my eyes were closed
and you were standing
right in front of me,
I wouldn't even know.

Your smile
I can't quite picture.
I don't think you showed your teeth
unless you were really happy
or laughing.
But even in those cases,
I don't remember
what that looked like.
You probably had perfect teeth.

The dates
of all the events whose memories
used to stop my heart
are fading.
When I stop to think,
I can remember them,
but when those days pass
I'm always preoccupied
and forget to remember.

Your favorite color was black,
I'm sure.
I remember because
Your car was black.
Your hair was black.
The locked compartment of your heart
that I tried to open
for two long, painful years
was black.
Sep 2013 · 623
Endless
Melanie Beth Sep 2013
Endless
Ceaseless
Perpetual
Constant
Arguing
Sickening
Frustrat­ing
Exhausting
Unnerving
Fighting
Hatred
Anger
Fury
Pain
*Done
Sep 2013 · 476
One Word Answers (10w)
Melanie Beth Sep 2013
"I dislike one word answers," you say
I say,
"Tough"
May 2013 · 577
Saying "Fuck" Helps
Melanie Beth May 2013
**** these nights.
**** them.
**** these feelings of anger, abandonment, fear, and jealousy--
but mostly anger.
**** the way I know I'm not going to like what I find
but keep looking anyway.
**** these memories that follow me around to this day
and keep finding ways to reinvent themselves.
**** the way I torture myself like this
over and over again.
**** that fluttering in my heart that could be mistaken for love
if I weren't so sure it's hatred.
******* for making me so ******* weak
by giving me the world and then taking it away, little by little.
******* for making me so ******* dependent
that I can't even go to sleep without a perfect goodnight.
Yeah, *******.
Feb 2013 · 847
In Your Absence
Melanie Beth Feb 2013
The few inches of waist
That are under my covers
But still exposed
Shiver
As the air finds them.

I am cold - nothing less
Nothing more.
I read your words
But their meaning
Eludes me,
Their sincerity
Absent.

Absent also is my mind
Longing for rest
But devoid
Of all emotion.
I will tears to the surface
But they don't listen.

You didn't listen;
Did you?
Remember when I said
I need you, please help me,
Promise baby,
Stay?

But you left me.
Not for good or even
For real,
But when I needed you.
You even tried to pretend
You were here
All along
But I won't buy it.

You're gone.
I think my lack of emotion
Should scare me,
But then I remember
I can't feel anything
But the cold
As it alone
Swoops down to kiss me.
Nov 2012 · 1.6k
What, baby?
Melanie Beth Nov 2012
"Baby..." you say
and I hear it in your voice
though electronic words have none--
you are pleading,
begging me
to give you a hint--
what can you do?

"Baby..." you say
and inside I snap--
WHAT?
but instead I write
in those electronic words
"What..."

"What..." I say
my tone submissive,
cautious,
almost apologetic.
What do you want from me
besides what I can't tell you?
What...

"I want to do something" you say
and I laugh out loud
but you can't hear--
THEN DO SOMETHING
my mind shouts
to no one but me--
DO SOMETHING.

"I don't know what to tell you..." I say
again with the hint of apology--
I'm sorry
I can't help you.
But wait--
you were supposed to
help ME
Melanie Beth Jun 2012
The tears are the best part about it.
Each one carries
what I imagine to be
the tiniest of pieces
of whatever it is
that is hurting me.

Each tear takes its piece
and washes it out of my mind
where it is then soaked up
by a pure white tissue
that becomes stained
with the black
of day-old mascara.

But despite how many
tears are shed,
no matter how many
little pieces of pain
get washed away,
something inside me
still hurts.

It is a feeling
incomparable to any of which
I have ever experienced.
There is no cause
by which the effect
is brought about.

And maybe that in itself
is what is so troubling.
The logic that my brain
is so accustomed to
does not exist
in matters such as these.

No, all that is present
is a dull but throbbing pain
accompanied by the stabbing
of a foreign feeling
somewhere in between
hopelessness and panic.

The tears streaming down my face
are the only tangible aspect
of this unending ordeal
and so, almost eagerly,
I await their return.
Because after all,
the tears are the best part about it.
May 2012 · 598
Baby Blue
Melanie Beth May 2012
I am small,
appear somewhat insignificant,
yet possess a beautiful hue:
the brightest baby blue.

I am immobile,
resting in a nest
until I am brave enough
to be born.

I am waking up,
slowly making my way out
into a world in which
I may not survive.

I am vulnerable,
completely dependent on you
to feed me and love me
until I trust my wings.
Mar 2012 · 824
I Keep My Door Unlocked
Melanie Beth Mar 2012
Maybe
you will walk in
with a dozen pure white
roses in your hand
freshly picked from
wherever roses grow.
And you will smile
without showing your teeth
or saying a word,
leaving me smiling
and speechless
as well.
But after a moment
I will say hi
and blink back tears
that fill to the brims
of my sad, weak
eyes.

Maybe
you will walk over
to the edge of my bed
and stand there for
some immeasurable time
just gazing into my eyes
with that close-lipped
smile you wear so well.
And you will wait
until my own smile
erupts into a small,
uncertain laugh
that causes your
perfect, serene mouth
to open slightly.
At first your expression
is still a smile, but
soon it turns
into worry, as you
lay the roses down
on my bed
and reach a hand
up to touch
my face.

Maybe
you will hold my gaze
and my hand
with both of yours
as you whisper
"Hey...", while
tilting your head
to one side, with a look
of utmost concern
caressing your
perfect features,
making you look strong,
steady, and
ready for the worst.
Your left thumb
wipes a tear from
under my eye,
and you whisper
"What's wrong?"
as you tuck a lock
of my hair behind
my ear.

Maybe
I will tell you
everything
that is on my mind
tonight. I will
tell you about the way
I needed you
six months ago, and,
unable to restrain
tears that beg for
the freedom of
my salty cheeks,
I will tell you about
the way I have
needed you lately.
The way in which
I crumble to pieces
without you there
to hold those pieces
together with the
your love.

Maybe
By the strength
you are providing,
as your hands continue
to surround mine
and as your soft, kind,
blue eyes
never waver from my own,
I will dare to tell you
of the way in which
I occasionally
begin to doubt
the extent of that love,
your love.
I will lay it all
out in front of you
not knowing
if you will see it
in the way
I am trying to describe.
But there is nothing
left to do
but try.

Maybe
you will understand
the loneliness I feel
when I sit with the
lights off, alone
on this bed, waiting
for you
to walk through
my door, holding
a dozen pure white
roses in your hand.
You will understand
why our Kleenex supply
is so rapidly depleted
when moments
like these sneak up
behind me.

Maybe
You will understand
why, despite any fear
I may possess,
I always make sure
to keep my door
unlocked
when I sleep so that
you may walk in,
arrange my roses
in a vase with water,
crawl in bed,
wrap one arm around me,
and go to sleep.
You will understand
why I dream of
falling asleep
without you and
waking up as the sun
seeps through the slits
in the blinds,
waking me as gently
as the kisses
you place on
my neck.
Melanie Beth Mar 2012
Maybe
You will walk in
with a dozen pure white
roses in your hand,
freshly picked from
wherever roses grow.
And you will smile
without showing your teeth
or saying a word,
leaving me speechless
as well.
But after a moment
I will say hi
and blink back tears
that fill to the brims
of my sad, weak
eyes.
Mar 2012 · 567
That's When I Love You
Melanie Beth Mar 2012
When your eyes shine just right in the pale moonlight
and your smile steals the breath out of my chest
that's when I love you

When you interlock our fingers, the feeling lingers
and each new touch creates an adrenaline rush
that's when I love you

When your lips connect with mine, stopping all time
and you kiss me with passion in need-you fashion
that's when I love you

When you lift me off the ground without a sound
and spin me in the air, making me say a prayer
that's when I love you

When you pull me closer or just lean your head over
and make it clear that you want me near
that's when I love you

When you share your stories; your dreams, your worries
and confide in me, even when it's not easy
that's when I love you

When you catch me off guard, send a note or a card
and text me in the morning or show up without warning
that's when I love you

When you understand my pain, whether or not I'm sane
and your patience endures until a kind word cures
that's when I love you

When you stay up late just to make sure I'm okay
and whisper sweet words that dissolve the hurt
that's when I love you

When you have eyes for only me no matter who you see
and you always stay faithful without waver
that's when I love you

When you make me believe in love; that it's enough
and that me and you will make it through
that's when I love you
Nov 2011 · 732
Close Your Eyes
Melanie Beth Nov 2011
I close my eyes
as you take my hands
into your own,
and the warmth of your skin
sends chills down my arms
while our fingers interlock.
I have nothing left
to fight my tears with
and so I let them fall
ungracefully.
You tell me again
how everything will be alright,
but this is where my trust
falls short. Where I
fall short.

Close your eyes, baby,
don't look at me
or rather, who I've become
because of you.
I'm weaker than I've ever been
Weak in my knees
weak in my stomach
I'm falling apart.
Oh, I'm weak in my heart.
You make me crazy
darling. I don't know how
You manage to manipulate
every feeling I posess.
I am left
with hollow memories
as fear takes hold of me
while I wait
for that inevitable moment
when you will turn away,
walk away, run away,
from me.

Close your eyes, baby,
you don't need to see
the way I am falling apart
in your arms tonight,
the way I have fallen apart
in your heart tonight.
Release my hand now,
but gently,
for I cannot stand on my own.
Let me go now,
but slowly,
because I'm bound to break.
Say your goodbyes now,
but sweetly,
for I wish to remember you.
Close your eyes now,
quickly,
and this will all
be over.
Oct 2011 · 609
Come Back To Me
Melanie Beth Oct 2011
Come back to me
you sweet, sweet boy.
Reach out for my hand
while the sun is shining
like you used to
when we were young.
Look at me
with those green,
brown, brilliant eyes
and try to hide
your smile.
Oh, that smile.
So carefree,
so perfect.
Your crooked teeth
aligned just right
but you used to hide them
behind your lips.
Oh, those lips.
Soft, smooth, strawberry.
I taste it
on my tongue, still.

Come back to me
you stupid, stupid boy.
Fall to your knees
at my feet, beg for me.
Just tell me
you made a mistake,
but now you want us
our countless plans
the future we dreamed of
all of it, back.
Ask my forgiveness
over and over
so I can savor
the sound of those words.
Reach out for my hand
like you used to
when we were young.
Tempt me to take it
hold it,
never let it go.
Watch me as I walk
away from you this time.
Oct 2011 · 792
I am needy.
Melanie Beth Oct 2011
I am needy.
I need your attention
           your presence
           your comfort, consolation
I need to know you're here to stay
                          that you won't run away
I need constant reassurance
I need loving words and kind gestures
I need so much from you
           so much more than I should
I need to know if you can give me what I need
                                            promise to stay
I need you be honest with me
I need you to stay if you can
                       leave if you must
I need to feel you here tonight
                      like everything is alright
I need to believe I can give you my heart
I need so much more than you know
I need you to know
I need you.
Wrote this quickly...was experimenting with this style again, the one that developed in my other poem, Fear is keeping me awake.
Oct 2011 · 535
Fear is keeping me awake.
Melanie Beth Oct 2011
Fear is keeping me awake
It slowly creeps up beside me
                makes my heart race
                            my pulse quicken
So that I'm at a loss of what to do
                                      where to go from here
And I can't comprehend what might happen
if one day you cease to be in my life
                                   to care how I feel
                                               at all
This fear is forbidding me from sleeping
                   suffocating me
                   preventing me from thinking clearly
                                                      bre­athing properly
                   causing my thoughts to scatter
                                                         ­   become irrational
                                                      ­                    incoherent
                   strangling my heart
I am too scared to sleep because I might dream
about you, or rather a lack thereof
                                   a world in which you don't care
                                                            ­    you don't exist
                                   a time in which I am not on your mind
                                                            ­                  in your heart
This fear is too much for me to bear tonight
                                                     sort through in my mind
I can't quite explain why I am feeling this way
                                           I seem to need you so much
                                                            ­        your hand in mine
                                                            ­                 heart for life
                                           I need you to hear this
                                                            ­      understand me
One thing that I know for certain is that
I need for you to let me know how you truly feel about me
                                                   where we're going to go from here
                                                   what is going on with you
                                                             ­                   with me
                                                              ­                  between us
                                                   if you want me to leave you alone
                                                           ­                       let you go
                                                              ­                    give up hope
This fear is keeping me awake.
So I wrote this one night when I simply could not think straight...the structure kind of developed on its own and I think I like how it turned out. Let me know what you think.
Oct 2011 · 592
There Is No Answer
Melanie Beth Oct 2011
The soft whirring of the heater
keeps my breathing steady
just long enough
for me to close my eyes
and fight back the tears.
But it's not enough
to reassure me of much,
aside from the fact
that my skin is warm
and I am alive.
For it cannot calm my heart
or quell my fears.
It will not provide answers
to the questions burning
inside of my throat.
Where are you?

The armrest holding my head up
is uncomfortable at best;
it is a nagging reminder
of all that is amiss.
I turn over and back
trying to make it right
but it still hurts.
My gaze is downcast,
fixed upon an object
so prone to destruction
that it's a wonder
I've kept it around.
Double checking myself
brings not relief
but disappointment;
not in you, but in me.

The phone that sits beside me
is endlessly mocking;
I clench it tightly
in a fist of frustration,
willing it to respond.
Not only is it lifeless
but it drains me
of what life is left
within my broken heart.
I catch myself
hoping you're okay;
then I face reality
and admit to myself
that this is the end.
Will you return?
There is no answer.
Oct 2011 · 808
He, My Shooting Star
Melanie Beth Oct 2011
The instant you see it, you know it
And your gaze freezes upon it
Precious seconds are squandered away
While you're busy hoping it doesn't fade

And in that moment you've made a choice
Or more precisely, an unconscious decision
To be so wrapped up in its existence
Rather than to lower your resistance

Once it goes, and believe me it will
You're left with nothing but a starry sky
Eyes transfixed upon an empty space
The result of what the night did erase

Maybe you kick yourself for it
Or maybe the shock hasn't yet faded
But eventually you'll know what you've lost
And you'll count up its complete cost

You could have had it all, you realize
One wish with certainty to be granted
Now all that has visited your daydreams
Dies away amidst your silent screams

You've let it slip through your fingers
Perfection in its purest of forms
A thing so simple yet so incredibly rare
You try to hold what is no longer there

And on this night you cannot sleep
Your arms are empty and heart is hollow
Alone you toss and turn with your regret
The shooting star you cannot forget
Oct 2011 · 594
Guilty of More
Melanie Beth Oct 2011
Restless and forsaken
Fingertips shaking and heart racing
Her head is not at home on her own pillow
It is simply too empty without him

Alone she tosses and turns
Doubling back to revist her regret
While trying to move forward all the same
Yet nothing will ever be as before

It was a simple summer setting
Nighttime rain the product of an overcast day
She drove home alone with tears to rival it
But no thunder cloud was as black as her heart

Breaths become gasps
The heart inside her must belong to another
For she left her own with the boy of her dreams
Left it with him and then left without him

To this day she cannot cope
The memory haunts her and will not relent
She is lost along a path she has never known
Footsteps follow her wherever she goes

Truth cuts to her core
As she tries to deny its presence
Finding a dozen reasons not to love him
Is not enough to justify the lies

She sifts through her thoughts
Trying to tell herself he is not perfect
Remembering the times he has inflicted pain
But the truth remains she is guilty of more
Oct 2011 · 734
Full Moon, Empty Heart
Melanie Beth Oct 2011
The clock tells me it's half past midnight
And I'm sitting alone in the corner of my room
The phone never fails to capture my attention
Because I'm holding my breath to hear from you

Moonlight seeps through gaps in my curtains
And shadows are scattered across the floor
I'm contented to know the night's not so dark
As the full moon makes light hard to ignore

My hopes float among the stars tonight
I am restless with high expectations
Then my phone lights up and I see your face
And my heart knows no limitations

I answer your call and hide my excitement
Soon the minutes fly by and my smile grows
Where your voice alone can send my heart
I think it's safe to say nobody knows

But before I know it the moment is here
The one in which all will be explained
My heart threatens to burst from within me
And my composure refuses to be maintained

As the truth makes its way to the moonlight
I feel as if I'm on a roller coaster ride
Anticipation makes me sick to my stomach
And I try to keep my feelings inside

My question at last is given an answer
And every part of me reacts to reality
Tears from my eyes and pain in my chest
I can't bear the situation's finality

The crushing realization leaves me hollow
But I should have known it from the start
I was always bound to be left with nothing
Except a full moon and an empty heart
Oct 2011 · 740
One Little Flame
Melanie Beth Oct 2011
I wake to a room lit only
by the pilot light of a fire;
one little flame that flickers
and makes the walls dance.
I am momentarily intoxicated
as I smell your empty shirt
and my heart dances
with the light on the walls.
I hold the pieces of you
tightly against my chest
and listen to the ticking
of a clock that just might
bring you home.
Oct 2011 · 488
A Sound Similar to Silence
Melanie Beth Oct 2011
Words hang in the air, spinning in circles
And for some reason we can't seem to say them
Whether the wrong place, wrong time, or most likely both
We tilt our heads, close our eyes, and lock our lips in time

You lay a gentle hand on each side of my waist
Impulse sends my hands to latch behind your neck
But I've found that nothing says I need you
So much as the words we still seem to lack

I press my hands against your skin and take it in
The rush, the thrill, the adrenaline
My heartbeat quickens, my breaths are gasps
It's not hard to give what I get right back

Our tongues might move but we don't dare talk
It's best to do this in silence and the dark
This way there's nothing we need to explain
And the only sounds are sighs we can't restrain

I grip the back of your thighs and pull you close
You mirror my movements and make it seem easy
With each new touch my head spins faster
I'm lost in a mess of perfection and bliss

Our bodies move in time to a rhythm all their own
No outside force could ever make its way in
Because it's you, me, and all we've ever known
Little more than pillows, sheets, and skin

On nights like this, the clock's never my friend
And I hold onto you hoping it never has to end
But soon you gently pull yourself away
And there's nothing I can do to make you stay

Our parting words are short, sweet, and always the same
They're "I'll see you tomorrow" plus "goodbye"
But some still hang in the air, spinning in circles
And if we want to say them, well we don't even try

A goodbye kiss is last thing that leaves our lips
Its echo in the room mixes with my defiance
And once the door is locked behind you
I admit it's a sound similar to silence
I love the actual story within this poem, but the structure (or lack thereof) isn't the greatest. Suggestions on how to improve this one are greatly appreciated.
Oct 2011 · 669
I Can't Call This Closure
Melanie Beth Oct 2011
Caught up in the rhythm of my heart
The warmth and smoothness of your skin
Ten fingers entwined in the darkness
Now it doesn't matter where you've been

You hold me tighter than I've dreamed
And I couldn't let go if I tried
I can't let you slip away again
But I don't know wrong from right

My pulse quickens with passing minutes
And I hold onto all I've ever wanted
Subconsciously I know I've been betrayed
By a heart that has left me haunted

Then without warning our lips connect
My head spins but tears begin to fall
You hold me close so I can't move
But I need to get away from it all

Regret rolls through me in waves
But desire keeps me clinging to you
I find comfort at the nape of your neck
Where reality is hidden from view

Before I know it I'm in too deep
Unable to resist kissing your skin
I rationalize the path my lips trace
At the same time my heart does me in

Too soon I realize I must get home
Driving through tears and pouring rain
I crave your touch and you in my arms
But nothing can mask this kind of pain

Hours pass and I'm unable to sleep
The next day drags by in a dizzy haze
I need you more than ever before
Was this why I counted down the days?

— The End —