On days when you feel jumbled,
And your thoughts begin to scramble
I heave out a sigh and close my eyes
As I waited for the particles to settle.

As my body slowly retires down,
My heart whimpers as it struggles to fight.
Ah, but every thing is tied to sadness,
Its toxicity dims out the light.

Months and months of battles I fought,
They made me feel frail and weak.
And as my veins begin to succumb,
I am too lost, too wounded to speak.

A faint smile on my lips that seek yours,
A tear from my eyes that sees all of you,
Your name I'd whisper for all time,
My love, I try to live - but death keeps me resigned.

I can feel the anger
Swimming beneath my skin.
Were I to slice it open,
Will it makes things better?

A skin neither pale nor dark
With marks that look fascinating.
As every emotion builds up,
The hands that control aren't wavering.

As the blade pierced my skin,
I wondered if it reached your heart --
As all our sadness, fears, guilt and sins
Chased us away, taking us farther apart.

As my soul screamed for you,
On this battle we persisted to fight
I saw your ****** carcass
And the blade sinks deeper at the sight.

I cried out in despair over your flesh
Screaming, cursing, refusing to part.
I grew bitter and darkness fell over us
And the blade sank into my own heart.

At night, when all is silent and beautiful,
The chains snakes around me to my bed
Cold and unforgiving, but tight and so sure
My body surrenders and my sanity has fled.

I remember the spots on the petals
Of the flowers you took but never sent
I remember the veins running down
When you made a fist, begging to be kissed.

You must smell like the sunsets that you showed
And your scent was all I craved to know.
Faces pressed, lips quivering over our screens
My heart raced as you crawled under my skin.

Blankets did nothing to fight away the cold
When dawn came, racking up my frame.
I sobbed, and sobbed, as quiet as I could
Hoping your warmth breaks me from this stronghold.

My eyes flutter open when the sun came
And I whisper your name softly in prayer
For although the chains may have vanished,
Each morning, my heart loses its flames.

As I sit by the shore and smell the sea
For a moment I am at peace and I breathe.
As the air exits my lungs silently,
My chest caves in and panic settles in.

As I grasp for sanity, I take a step back
For the waves are monstrous and out to ****.
But the land where I am turns to quicksand
And I watch in horror as darkness attacked.

The waves came that day in disguise
I should've known for I met him many times -
And as I drown in its deepest depths,
I whisper, "Hello, sadness, my old friend".

My heart used to swell with joy
When heavy drops pitter patters the roof.
But now it sinks to its deepest depths,
For the cold and struggles it may bring you.

I keep on playing with
The idea of leaving
When everything that I believe in
Crumbles to nothing.