Let's go outside
Swifts are scything high
The last to cry the sun good night
Wings are beating then they glide

Let's walk round the meadow
As we like to do
We could be Summer gypsies you and I
Watch each day in pastel shades give way

All is kind, mild and soft
Daylight graced away
As we survey our sanctuary
Far from the maddening, saddening motorway

A fragile film of mist hangs above the meadow flowers
We wonder at the science of it
As nature's breath is blown aside
Like a magic trick

We could stay out here all night
Be Summer gypsies you and I
But we are tied
Signed up to this, bound by that
Anchored, rooted to the workaday

Come inside, for we must sleep
We need to sleep
Let the night its gentle solstice secrets keep

Someone saw our horse plough
A relic from a different age
"I used one just like that"
I turn to him amazed

I ask our neighbour, over eighty
Yes, on my father's farm
Hitched up to a pair of hosses
Hard work did me no harm

One foot on the land, one foot in the furrow
Eleven miles an acre, up and down you'd go
An acre a day good going, if the land was light
You do that all day, bor
You'll lay still at night !

Carefully she sowed the seed
of pretence
Nurtured, fed, exposed to light

Inhabited root and branch

And it became her reality
Her skeleton

And she wondered
where have all the good men gone

but still she had her music
at least

She lit a candle
to the dying
and the thought sustained her
that maybe
she was the happiest person she knew

Let'***** the road, you and me
Let's find out who we're meant to be
Let's burn some gas and feel some speed
Let's do it now, I feel the need

Or maybe stay at home and plan it
It would be kinder to the planet

cold today
wind from the North

sit by the fire
read a bit
then fix the door

dog walk, pull my coat tighter
carry a notebook
pretend I'm a writer

stare at the wall
the wall of the cave at Lascaux
Swimming Stags
see what the cave man saw

You know that when we run
We go like hell
Not to be the straggler, it's in our nature
You can tell

Jockeyed up with colours bright
The tension mounting now
We spring out through the starting gate
Streaking past the crowd

Now it's all about the money
For those who placed their bets
For us the bit, the kick, the whip
To make us give our best

This time you've driven me too hard
A trip, a stumble, a broken leg
Too bad. A curtain round, the white coats come
Put a bullet in my head

No sense being sentimental
That's the way it is
C'est la vie, par for the course
In the life and the death
Of a working horse

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Do you really want to take my man?
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
If you do, be my guest you can

I have to say you've lost your looks
Your folks are all a bunch of crooks
And it seems your teeth have all gone green

And if he is your choice in men
I would advise to think again
But if you're sure then please feel free Jolene

He farts a bit in his sleep
At times it's all I do to keep
From shoving a big cork right up his ***

But if you want to take him on
Go ahead I'll cheer you on
I'll even contribute a little sum

He sits around here drinking beer
To fix the gate he takes all year
He's got the biggest belly you have ever seen

But if you think he's right for you
Then I'll raise a glass or two
He's yours with pleasure take him now Jolene

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Do you really want to take my man?
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
If you do be my guest you can

Out in my car, just for a ride
She said
I can tell how a man makes love
Just from the way he drives

Shall I be smooth
With confident smile
Or tear up the tarmac
Cut loose for a while

What is your preference,
May I ask?
Distracted I slam the next car up the ****

We went to the woods for a picnic
That girl was such a nitwit
She promised a lot
But all I got
Was a peck on the cheek and a biscuit

Her parents went to Rhyll
To me that sounded brill
I went to her place
All prepared (just in case)
And fed the budgie some trill

I said I've fallen for ya
Let's cuddle in the corner
She said that's nice
But tonight I might
Practise my recorder

She said it's good to share
I said I'm with you there
Then I was led
To a single bed
And loaned a teddy bear

I did my best to please her
But she was just a teaser
My money spent
My patience went
So it was time to leave her

You are  friend
And rival
I watch
And tread carefully

     _

Now stop
Go away
Lost cause
No more to say

     _


Stay abed
Sleepy head
Not getting up
Eyes tight shut

I'll    (that's 2 words)
show
you
mine
if
you
show
me
yours

We awake to morning sounds
Of pavements washing down
Everyone's a trader
In this terracotta town

Wander through the winding streets
Drink in sights and sounds
A trader or an artist
In this terracotta town

Time to find a slice of shade
Siesta hour has come around
All is quiet, all is still
In this little tourist town

The waiters they are waiting
No-one wears a frown
Everybody holds a stake
In this their terracotta town

The fishermen are coming in
The sun is going down
We hold onto a painted pebble
To remind us of the peace we found

Solo Atlantic rower
Oarsome!

Jlo rows Atlantic
Arsome!

I was twenty years old when I started this lark
I'm older now but just as daft
Cos up and down all day I still go
In the wind and rain and sun and snow
Earning a dollar, earning a dime
On them old thatched roofs where I spend all my time.

I must have done hundreds in that time
Each one a challenge, a mountain to climb
Keeping the water out, leaving my mark
Making the cottages pretty and smart
Earning a penny, earning a pound
On them old thatched roofs where I can be found.

The work is hard, no easy days
No room here for lazy ways
I'm not quite as keen as I used to be
Those mountains get steeper it seems to me
I'm looking forward to an easier time
When I leave those old thatched rooves behind.

I asked the baker why he gets to work so early
He said I knead the dough man

Really like the title
Poem's not worked out
If it does I promise
I'll give y'all a shout

I hope you notice the expression in my song
Unlike that chiff-chaff over there
I try my best to be mellifluous when I sing
Not like him, not like him

Winter's gone and here we are hee hee
Hee hee
What shall we do now
Come on dear, I think you know
What we should be doing now
I'll sing it, I'll sing it!

You're a brave bird and so beautiful
Just right for me,  now do a twirl
Do a twirl !
And I'm the only blackbird in the world
You need
I'll sing it, I'll sing it!

You made it through the arduous
Ar-du-ous winter
Just like me, just like me
Brave bird!
I'll sing it, I'll sing it!

My wife's a lovely brown
She's hiding in the hedge
I love to sing do you?
We built a nest we did, we did!
So don't forget to look the other way
If you should venture over here
It would be such a waste of time
To have to do it all again

This place belongs to me!
My wife is here
We're trying for a family
She laid some lovely eggs
Blue they are, she sits on them to keep them warm
But it's a secret, it's a secret
I'll sing it, I'll sing it!

I hope you notice I try to vary my song
Mix up and blend the notes so as not to bore
And if it sounds like I'm trying to tell you something
Ex-plain something
That's because I truly am

I try to sound interesting
When I sing
Not like him
Mell-if-lu-os-ity is my favourite word
I made it up
I'll sing it, I'll sing it!

We couldn't see, we didn't know
We were just actors in a play
A play that would never open
Or see the light of day

We thought we were in love
We told each other so
Perhaps we were, but something changed
What it was I didn't know

We talked about the future
How our love would last
Now for you and me
There is no future
Just a distant past

We didn't get as far as rings or shiny suits
In fact we didn't give each other anything
Till you gave me the ever so delicate
Ever so dainty
Shiny
Little
Boot

Here comes the plumber, he's out of his van
His mate is moving as slow as he can

Keith's in the kitchen drinking tea
But fishing is where he'd rather be

The digger is Gary's, it thrums and it spins
He digs a hole then he fills it in

Here's Laura, the customer, drinks on a tray
Looking forward to when we all go away

Dave's gone to work to earn the money
So we all get paid and don't go funny

And I'm on the roof, careful don't fall
The one above who sees it all

What does Christmas mean to you?
Lots of parties, things to do
Presents to buy,friends to see
Got to get a Christmas tree

The lights are up, the decorations
Excitement grows, anticipation
The turkey's stuffed, ready to go
If we're lucky we may see snow

Get caught up in the Christmas mood
If you don't you're Mr Scrooge
Flash the card, splash some cash
Don't turn up drunk for midnight mass

But let's go back to days of yore
When our god was nature in the raw
A Pagan celebration there we find
A twelve day feasting known as Yuletide

Times have changed but traditions survive
In a slightly different guise
We'll follow suit and do just that
Like the druid and the bishop
We'll put on our Santa hat.

Distraught the vicar wore a frown-
The churchyard wall had fallen down

Well he could devoutly pray
But not a single brick could lay

Fred said don't you worry, not at all-
We don't need a churchyard wall

Think about it now, he grinned
Those within can't get out,
And those without don't want in

The family who had this house I know
They won't be coming back here though
A spark settled on the thatch
And burnt it down a year ago

The husband had already left
Her car turned over in the snow
The tears flowed as, bereft
Across the fields her dreams did blow

The old life gone, they have moved on
And we are here to put it back
So another family can come to live
Beneath its thatchy hat

There was a vicar from Crewe
Whose congregation were few
To make amends he brought in his hens
And they all lined up on a pew

Then he compiled an avian choir
(For the singing voice of the hens was dire
And the only song the cockerel knew
Was ****-a-doodle-do)

The church fell silent as we heard
The Lord is my Shepherd from the minor bird
The vicar invited us to pray
And we got the Lords Prayer from the African grey

There followed a rendition of psalm thirty four
Performed without fault from the tenor macaw
The parakeets squawked and scratched their fleas
As they jumped up and down on the ***** keys

The vicar was thrilled it was going so well
The geese gave a honk as they pulled on the bell
But then there appeared right at the back
An evil sparrowhawk poised to attack

Calamity reigned inside the church
The African grey fell off his perch
The first to escape was the tenor macaw
As fast as he could through the open door

The chickens shrieked and went home in a flap
The minor bird had a heart attack
The geese walked away back to their pen
And the church fell silent once again

He longed to hold the melons she'd got
And taste the bright red, ripe-red cherries on top
He yearned to reach for her succulent peach

But would it alarm her
To show her too soon
His bent banana
And two little prunes?

.
       The search goes on for life
    outside our sphere of knowledge.

A galactic researcher expresses his desire
         for answers before he dies.

  He might have to settle for afterwards.

Excuse me m'am, I happen to be...
A warden of the dog poo variety...
As you walked along by me
Your dog was seen to poo and ***.
It's not allowed in such a place
To show such scant regard for form and grace.
It's not acceptable and not allowed.
The charge for this is fifty pounds.
Thank you.
Good day.

You're working for a woman now he said
I thought a bit, scratched my head
You've got it wrong, how can that be?
It's she who's working now for me.

She promised truth and faith
Hope and harmony.

Her faith was tested early on
To set our people free
And wrestle back our islands
In the southern sea.

With Ronnie Reagan in a golf cart
She found her harmony
In front of all the cameras
Together for eternity.

She stood up to the unions
Never giving way
She set the miners free
Took their hopes away.

They tried to **** her at the Grand
They all so nearly died
But she was out next morning
Defiant in true grit, very much alive.

But now the iron lady's lost her wits
Her intellect is shot to bits
She starts to speak but half way through
Can't remember who is who.

The iron lady's lost her touch
Her brain they say has gone to mush
Back in the day some called her great
A woman no man should underestimate.

The iron lady's had her time
Now condemned to slow decline
From all she could command respect
Now not love nor hatred, just neglect.
Old friends, her children absent somehow
The iron lady's lonely now.

Nothing ventured
nothing gained

We'll feign the perfection
we never attained

Only memories ever can last
we'll postpone the future
to worship the past

Love me strong
in candle light

Pretend you do
stay tonight

The feeling I'll save
locked in my mind

Embrace me again
for the last time

I never thought of you as a killer
But I guess it's different when it's yourself
Builders go bust all the time
But you went out with a bang

The last time we met you were behind me at the check-out
Your posture upright, proud as always
Towering, gazing over my head
I can only imagine the tide of emotion that must have overwhelmed you

You have occupied my thoughts these last few days
God only knows what it has done to your wife and dear old mother
No doubt those words will be used
While the balance of his mind was disturbed

They say you had no money for the wages
Richard, this was not the solution
So sad, so sad
You've made us all so sad

We take a mains water supply and proper drainage for granted now,
but not so long ago they were new things, and not everybody had them.

My old boss told me about the time they turned up for work at a cottage where a woman lived alone, just in time to see her empty her **** *** out of the bedroom window onto the tiles of the lean-to.

Half way through the morning she asked if they would like a glass of home-made lemonade, and dipped a jug into the water ****, saying
" I like to use soft water. "

Having noticed that the lean-to tiles emptied into the water ****,
they found themselves in a slightly awkward position.

When the woman appeared proudly offering the full glasses of lemonade,
my old boss said  " I think I heard someone at the front door. "

Off she scurried and the lemonade was quickly disposed of in the flower bed.

The little red car bobbing down the lane
Zipping thru the countryside
Waiting at the lights
Parking up between the lines
Is so much more than a little red car

With sympathetic hands she mends the wounded
Sends them on their way
Fights her corner with the managers in their pointy shoes
Lends a sympathetic ear
Saves lives

Makes her way back to the little red car
Thinks about her day, her family
Passing green hedges
Noticing the sunset
Looks forward to a cup of tea
As the little red car bobs back down the lane

Wags from the dog
Jen's home

His claim he staked, the mallard drake
Beside a little pond
Two female ducks were round about
They would return anon

He watched me work all morning
A feather he would preen or peck
I reciprocated his respect
And studiously ignored him

He was content until I went
A bit too close for comfort
His head and neck he laid down low
His movements they were slow
As if to bid the executioner
Or will the grass to grow

So when I get old and I'm being told
That I can no longer roam
Take pity on me, don't leave me be
To sit here at home all alone

Take me to the top of a mountain
And there let me sit all the day
Leave me on top of the mountain
And there I can fade away

Ginger hit a great old flint
Split in two his *****
Took it to the smithy
Had it back inside a day

In the twenty acres
Kenny bust the plough
Let the smithy have a look
He'll fix it up somehow

Big old mare she cast a shoe
Better do all four
Hinge has broken on the gate
Latch needs mending on the door

Show him what needs fixing
He can sort it out
Heat it up in the fire
Give it a good old clout

The smithy's long been dead of course
The forge has long been closed
Just the house name on a slate
To tell of days of old

He used to man a machine gun
But now it was years since the war
When he'd fought for King and country
In the mud and the blood and the gore

How many Bosche did you **** they would ask
In his understated way
He'd say I must have got several
Not many got away

Sometimes on a Saturday night
Down at the Hart with a beer
It all came back to him like a wave
He'd stand and stare and stare

Then he was gripping his gun again
It was like he'd suddenly snapped
With his back to the wall he'd be shouting
Rat a tat, rat a tat tat

After a while he'd go quiet
Finish his drink alone
Darts flew again, cards were dealt
The old soldier walked back home

here can lay the power
if you are receptive,
to let you see the world
from a new perspective

it can be the filling
or icing on the cake,
send you off to peaceful sleep
or keep you wide awake

it can liberate your thoughts
from a recess dark and deep,
make a poor man rich
or help a mute to speak

by your side all the time
like a faithful friend
it can stay with you
to the very end

The kettle boiled, switched itself off.
He made tea, topped it with milk.
He had never felt calmer.
Today was the day.

He counted the strides to the station,
One less than usual.
The train was two minutes overdue.
A robin just above him piped and trilled its cascading song.

The train came into view, now it was level with the end of the platform.
This was the time.
Before he could see the driver's eyes.
He hesitated.  
The moment passed.

**** robin, **** ****** robin.

We all do time in the sweat box
At some point in our lives
The desperate, desperate sweat box
Where we're crucified

It's part of living, part of life
A right of passage, must be done
If you've not been in the sweat box
You've got it still to come

Thank you sir, how would you like to pay, firing squad?
-- I beg your pardon?
Nice and quick sir, no mess, comes highly recommended.
Or there's the rotten cotton bungee jump, very popular with our younger customers.
Um, we offer an old fashioned duel with a chieftan tank, there's walking the plank,
And we've just started an in-house hang draw and quarter option with free head impalement.
Exceptional value that one, sir.
Now what else is there, there's the axe in the neck from the man with the hood,
The genuine guillotine experience, the short flight over the ocean with a sharp shove at 15000 feet,
Um, the drag naked through the streets by a crazed horse,...
--Is barclaycard acceptable?
Of course sir, I can offer you a complimentary snake bite with that sir.
--No thank you.
Ok sir, let me offer you this free bladder of wombat spittle mouthwash,
Special promotion till Friday, yours to enjoy.
--I'll take two.
Certainly, excellent sir.
--Is there a cheese shop in the neighbourhood?
Yes sir, finest in the district sir, but if I were you I wouldn't go there sir,
The man who runs it is a bit strange sir.

On our bikes, day after day
Wheeling along the West Country Way
From Georgian Bath, that Jane Austen knew
To Glastonbury Tor, our challenge still new

Where are we now, is it this way or that?
Another cool stretch on a railway track
No one fell off, no one got hurt
Except now and then by a few cross words

And so over Exmoor, our longest day yet
It was football, not cider in our Somerset
Sea views and fresh air in Westward **!
We could have stayed longer but on we go

The hills are getting longer, tall hedges either side
Our legs are getting stronger now we've found our stride

The Eden project was on our route
So we had to stop and see
The scene was complete in a bio-dome
With David Attenborough filming for tv

Past holes in the ground where they dug the clay
Along old canals our journey panned out
Then over a beer at the end of the day
Out came the map for the mileage count

On through the ancient landscape we go
Past the odd castle or stately home
Past sheltered coves and beaches of sand
And on to the end  -Lands End-
Where we ran out of land

Shoot at us and we'll be gone                                                             ­                Minnesota     2921
We'll never be your friend                                                           ­                        Idaho               705
But now the rage has gone away                                                             ­          Wisconsin        690
We're coming back again                                                            ­                       Montana         566
                                                             ­                                                                 ­Wyoming        343
Just a lonesome wanderer loping through the night                                         N.Carolina      120
Or an alpha leader followed by his pack                                                           Arizona              29
We're claiming back what's ours by right                                                         California             1
The wolves are coming back!                                                            ­                  Alaska         10000
                                                           ­                                                                 ­   Canada         52000   (2011 numbers)

broken eggs on lawn
what villain so dastardly?
 magpie looking fat

They back you up, your mum and dad
They're always there it's true
When you mess up you'll  be glad
The safety net is out for you

And they were backed up in their turn
By parents further down the line
Who once were really just the same
But of a different time

The caring hands are laid on us
A waterfall of willing help
So be there for them, do your best
If you have kids yourself

They drove cars that belched out poison fumes
Incarcerated beasts in zoos
Farmed animals to **** and eat
( A savage taste for ****** meat )

Launched lethal weapons by the ton
( Wars were always going on )
Bred like rabbits and died young

They burned up all that filthy oil
Melted all the ice
The sea rose up around their feet
But their music was quite nice

The forests they all slashed and burned
Some didn't have enough to eat
Cars would crash, ships would sink
Did they ever stop to think
This isn't very neat

Fueled by greed and a selfish gene
They carried on regardless
So nature wiped her slate quite clean
Showed who held the clout
Those people thought they could outwit her
No wonder they died out

You learn a lot in a place like this
Start top right
Then ride your green bike
          red yellow green black
And the white lead goes in the middle
You learn what an angiogram feels like
And what it's like to have a broken heart

What bird do I hear?
Hush, it's a thrush, singing clear
Listen to its song

Into the wide, unmeasured, lonely skies
Beyond this dark, confining world he winds
To keep his watch; on moon-tipped wings he flies
O'er cliffs of cloud, and nature's star-lit climes
Above this England, gashed with iron scars,
And o'er the sea with white-capped shining waves,
He passes ramparts, washed with foam of stars,
And in curls of cloudlets loose he laves
To be up there, amidst that heavenly band,
It is his duty, and his life, his boon;
No hand can hold him to the steadfast land
When duty calls, through rays of a Bomber's Moon
When he returns, that golden host will ring,
And he'll be with his comrades, flying wing to wing.