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May 2015 · 792
a friend
martin May 2015
Whatever you want to talk about you
can be sure she will immediately be in
the zone. Unconventional in lifestyle,
she lives alone without modern comforts.
She seems to hitch-hike through life,
having at times ridden with extraordinary
wealth and good fortune. At others, loneliness
and poverty have been her wearisome
companions. A fatalist, she will note your
material wishes, and promise that when
luck shines on her again, they will be yours.
Don't try to change her, you won't get far.
Generous to a fault, when she has money
it slips through her fingers like a croupier
dealing cards. Once she is your friend
rest assured she will remain so for life.
May 2015 · 1.1k
still a lot to learn
martin May 2015
Dance with dragons to your hearts delight

Let lanterns shine and fireworks pop all through your darkest night

But if you care for your precious pandas plight

Don't buy tiger bones, rhino horn, ivory

Dead elephants are not a pretty sight
Apr 2015 · 2.1k
A two word poem
martin Apr 2015
Barefoot -
Atavistic !
Add yours to the Two word poems collection.
Atavistic loosely means a reverting to a former primitive type, ancestral.
Apr 2015 · 842
Election limerick
martin Apr 2015
Election fever across the nation
Sifting truth and misinformation
We cast our vote
More in hope
Than in expectation
UK general election May 7th
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
10 words
martin Apr 2015
beneath
her
perfect
skin
only the
chosen
view
the scars
Apr 2015 · 829
Spring haiku
martin Apr 2015
early blossom white
even pilgrim needs to rest
life unfolds around
Apr 2015 · 847
hurricane
martin Apr 2015
Smoke lifts slowly from the stack
sideways drifting now

Leaves begin to gently quiver
weather vane swings round

Flags begin to faintly flutter
boughs and branches move around

Umbrellas flipping inside out
wires howling now

People shout above the din
avoid the rolling over bin

Walkers leaning clutching coats
trees blocking roads

Autogiro flying tiles
fences lean and sway

People hurry on their way
to shelter from the hurricane
Mar 2015 · 8.6k
Let it come
martin Mar 2015
Don't approach a dog unknown to you
Holding out your hand, making eye contact
You may frighten him
Let him come to you

Don't write a poem uninspired
It won't work out
In good time
Let it come to you

Don't go out there seeking love
Like a child with a butterfly net
Live your life
Let it come to you
Mar 2015 · 981
Compromise
martin Mar 2015
Ok, first the basics
If you turn on the tap, just a dribble
And hold a straw, just off vertical underneath
The water will flow to the end of the straw
And drip off

Imagine many straws, densely packed
Just the tips showing
All sloping at an angle
And fixed to a steep roof

Water (rain) will be shed
And the roof will remain dry

The steeper the roof
The quicker the rain will shed
But the steeper the roof
The more material is used

Then there's the thickness
The thicker the better surely?
Well, the thicker the layer of straws
The flatter the angle at which they lay
And so the less efficient they are at shedding water

Thatching
Like life
Is a compromise
Mar 2015 · 1.3k
Bite the bullet
martin Mar 2015
He asked me for advice one day
I told him bite the bullet
It's the only way

He said you're right, I will, I will

Now he's got a dentist bill
And asking me to pay
Mar 2015 · 849
Chestnut tree
martin Mar 2015
No work of man can compete with you

Passed by, ignored by most

Is it only I who sees
your ever-changing common beauty?
Mar 2015 · 795
Epiphanies abound
martin Mar 2015
.
Those bestowed with special gifts are duty-bound to share 
           
So open up, we're listening, let them echo everywhere

Let your thoughts emerge, take flight, travel and rebound

See them ricochet off cliff and temple, filling air with sound
martin Mar 2015
He told me his name was Cyril
And he  lived alone on the Wirral
He never let on
But I heard from his mum
He's really a secret squirrel
The Wirral peninsular is in NW England and one of our best loved poets lives there  :)
Mar 2015 · 967
sack
martin Mar 2015
a sack rich in memories
slung on my back
like a part of me now

stopping to rest I open it up
regress, absorb, re-interpret

a pebble, a poem, a hurtful remark
danger and luck
friends made and lost
summits achieved
decisions carved as in stone
out of date currency
I cannot burn
Mar 2015 · 1.0k
Thanks for asking
martin Mar 2015
When asked  'How are you coping
now that you're single again?'
He answers  sincerely
'I'm holding
my own.'
martin Mar 2015
Cam ye o'er frae France? Cam ye down by London?
Saw ye Geordie Whelps and his bonny woman?
Were ye at the place called the Kittle Housie?
Saw ye Geordie's grace riding on a goosie?

Geordie, he's a man there is little doubt
He does all he can, who would do without?
Down there came a blade linkin' like a lordie;
He would drive a trade at the loom o' Geordie.

Though the plaid were bad, blythly did we niffer;
Gin we get a wab, it makes little differ.
We have tint our plaid, bonnet, belt and swordie,
Halls and mailings braid—but we have our Geordie!

Jocky's gane to France and Montgomery's lady;
There they'll learn to dance: Madam, are ye ready?
They'll be back belive, belted, brisk and lordly;
Brawly may they thrive to dance a jig wi' Geordie!

Hey for Sandy Don! Hey for Cockolorum!
Hey for Bobbing John and his Highland Quorum!
Many a sword and lance swings a Highland hurdie;
How they'll skip and dance o'er the *** o' Geordie!
This song's author is unknown, but it was written around the time of the Jacobite rebellions.  I love the archaic language and sing it to myself when nobody can hear. It has been recorded a few times, notably by Steeleye Span (it's on youtube).
Now the history lesson. In 1688 James II, a Catholic, was exiled to France and his Protestant daughters took the throne, first Mary, then Anne. When Anne died without heir, the throne passed to the house of Hanover.  George I became king, even though he was German and spoke no English. But he was, crucially, Protestant.  
The son of the exiled James II made a claim to the throne but he being a Catholic, was not accepted. His son also tried, Bonny Prince Charlie. These were the Jacobite rebellions.
Come ye o'er frae France is a song in support of the Jacobite movement,  and very much mocking George I.   My rough explanation of the archaic language is as follows.

Have you just arrived from France?
Did you come via London?
Did you see young Georgie and his pretty woman?
Were you at the place they call the ***** house
Did you see George his grace, ******* a ******?

Georgie, he's a man, there's no doubt about that
He has anyone he can, and who wouldn't?
Along came a dish, swanking like a dandy
And he did a deal
To share poor Georgie's candy

Although we got a bad deal, still we blithely haggled
If we get the dregs it makes little difference
We have dyed our cloth, bonnet belt and sword,
Our homes and lands are lost, but we have our George!

The **** (James) has gone to France with Montgomery's lady
There they'll hatch a plot, and when they're good and ready
They'll be back here soon, kitted up and raring to go
And may they succeed in their set-to with Georgie!

Come on Sandy Don, come on Cockolorum   [Jacobite supporters]
Come on Bobbing John and his Highland Possie
Many a sword and lance swings a Highland warrior
How they'll skip and dance over the *** of Georgie!
Feb 2015 · 647
1914 - 1918
martin Feb 2015
A little story (true) from a hundred years (almost), passed on to me by word of mouth by someone whose identity my memory has lost.

A man and wife lived in the house which I owned much later. He was called away to war and for four whole years he disappeared, she didn't hear a word.

I guess he was no writer.

He found himself released, no longer mired in foreign soil. War was won, the only thing to be done was go home once more.

He sent a telegram from the port, I'm coming home real soon. But he arrived before the post, and surprised his wife, who probably said something like,

Why my dear, did you not write?
Feb 2015 · 918
Dark nights
martin Feb 2015
When my love was newly won
She was the sun, the sun
The sun

Then before the year had run
All too soon the cooler moon
Is what she had become

And now she's but a distant star
A candle flicker from afar
But still her power I can see

For nights are dark
And thoughts are free
martin Jan 2015
You learn a lot in a place like this
Start top right
Then ride your green bike
          red yellow green black
And the white lead goes in the middle
You learn what an angiogram feels like
And what it's like to have a broken heart
Jan 2015 · 1.8k
Handsome Nell (Robert Burns)
martin Jan 2015
Once I lov'd a bonie lass,
Ay, and I love her still;
And whilst that virtue warms my breast,
I'll love my handsome Nell.

As bonie lasses I hae seen,
And mony full as braw;
But, for a modest gracefu' mein,
The like I never saw.

A bonie lass, I will confess,
Is pleasant to the e'e;
But, without some better qualities,
She's no a lass for me.

But Nelly's looks are blythe and sweet,
And what is best of a',
Her reputation is complete,
And fair without a flaw.

She dresses aye sae clean and neat,
Both decent and genteel;
And then there's something in her gait
Gars ony dress look weel.

A gaudy dress and gentle air
May slightly touch the heart;
But it's innocence and modesty
That polishes the dart.

'Tis this in Nelly pleases me,
'Tis this enchants my soul;
For absolutely in my breast
She reigns without control.
for Burns night
Jan 2015 · 516
Star man limericks *
martin Jan 2015


Mission control went round the bend
They ran out of places to send
The astronaut
Who was distraught
If he didn't get home at weekends



On Venus he was to start
His voyage to the stars
But they heard him
shout  'I'm coming
out! And setting a
  course for
Mars'



He didn't know where to belong
His journey was too long
As he gazed into space
He came face to face
With the ghost of
  Major Tom

.
.
.
.
.
my mother said
to get things done
you better not mess
with Major Tom
.
.
.
Jan 2015 · 672
Tuesday poem
martin Jan 2015
First, the basics -
I may lose you quite soon here,
It won't matter though
I'll say bye now
I don't blame you
There is nothing to commend this poem
It deserves no likes
It has no rhythm, none at all.
No wisdom, humour or philosophy.
If you get this far, well done
I admire your persistence.
I dedicate it to the little **** on the internet
Who tried to defraud me of £130 last night.
It was unsettling, so I write for therapy.

Anyway, the basics -
Well maybe we'll leave them for another day
I have already used up too much of your valuable time
And there are loads of proper poems to read here
So off you go, all that other stuff can wait
Jan 2015 · 783
Nothing left - a rondeau
martin Jan 2015
When there is nothing left to say
Pleas, half-formed unspoken fade
No last chances on a plate
No dying breath to resuscitate
All our jokers, aces played

Reluctant still to move away
Familiarity urges us to stay
Use the door, close the gate
When there is nothing left to say

The mirage that was yesterday
Crumbles into dust today
No more fire in the grate
All burnt out so why wait
The path untrodden leads the way
When there is nothing left to say
Jan 2015 · 528
Caution
martin Jan 2015
You do not have to say anything
But anything you do say
May be recorded and later used
In a poem recited against you.
Legal eagles are getting their knickers in a twist over the exact words to use when cautioning a person who is being arrested.
Jan 2015 · 633
Lothario
martin Jan 2015
As he studied the grey stubble in the mirror
he began to wonder if rather than considering
each new conquest a success
he should think of it as the consequence
of another failure
Dec 2014 · 457
Your Cup
martin Dec 2014
'
     ..
   ....

I hope tonight
   from your cup  
you sup good
measures of
hospitalitea
and that next year for all friends here
it brims with creativitea
Happy New Year to
all on hp, drunks and
teetotalers alike
Dec 2014 · 900
For Ashton
martin Dec 2014
From Grandma to you, a clock for Christmas
To hang on your bedroom wall
To show you time is useful
And important to us all

At first it's pace can seem too slow
You want to hurry up and grow
Then the years begin to fly
Till you're nearly as old as Grandma and I

But for now there's time to learn
Hundreds and thousands of things
And we hope you will enjoy
All that time soon brings
his first Christmas
Dec 2014 · 746
A man and a boy
martin Dec 2014
It was a summer morning. The man got up, got ready quite quickly. He pulled the door to, and stepped into the street. It was still early, the sunshine was bright, the street like a wasteland.

A small boy was kicking a football against a low wall. As the man approached, the boy kicked it towards him.  The man returned it, the boy returned it again. The man lifted it with his toe, flicked it ten feet in the air. The boy let it bounce and headed it back.
The man trapped it and left it at the boy's feet as he walked by.

'Where you going?'  asked the boy.
'To see my dad.'
'When was your dad born?'  asked the boy.
'Nineteen twenty four.'
The boy lifted his finger to his mouth.
'Ninety, that makes him ninety.'  said the man.
'Better hurry then.'  said the boy.
The man looked at the boy properly for the first time.
And smiled.
Dec 2014 · 752
Take him Jolene
martin Dec 2014
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Do you really want to take my man?
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
If you do, be my guest you can

I have to say you've lost your looks
Your folks are all a bunch of crooks
And it seems your teeth have all gone green

And if he is your choice in men
I would advise to think again
But if you're sure then please feel free Jolene

He farts a bit in his sleep
At times it's all I do to keep
From shoving a big cork right up his ***

But if you want to take him on
Go ahead I'll cheer you on
I'll even contribute a little sum

He sits around here drinking beer
To fix the gate he takes all year
He's got the biggest belly you have ever seen

But if you think he's right for you
Then I'll raise a glass or two
He's yours with pleasure take him now Jolene

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Do you really want to take my man?
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
If you do be my guest you can
Dec 2014 · 617
Let down
martin Dec 2014
Last
time we
spoke she
brimmed with
hope, romance was
in the air. This time she
looked me in the eye, shook
her head from side to side, fiddled
with her hair and frowned, raised a
little finger, and wagged it up and down
Dec 2014 · 611
Santa baby
martin Dec 2014
Santa baby
This year I have for you just one request
I know you'll help because you always do your best

You'll be my special honey for ever more
If you can give us all a miracle cure

For cancer baby
So hurry down the chimney tonight
Dec 2014 · 946
Cry
martin Dec 2014
Cry
I came upon a child of God
Asked her where you going
She said my words were beautiful
But they were Leonard Cohen's

She passed a summer by me
Sad songs to scorch and sting
When the days grew older
She spread her angel wings

I watched for her as the white-tailed eagle
Looks down at the sea
Searched the heather, walked among the mountain flowers
Trod the holloways for hours
But she had flown from me

The raven and the hooded crow
Silent passed me by
Go, go, let her go
I heard the buzzard cry
Nov 2014 · 1.3k
Mr Kalashnikov
martin Nov 2014
Mr Kalashnikov I'll ask you nicely
Please don't point that thing at me
Laszlo Biro how nice to see you
Without you where would we be?
Mr Molotov may I remind you
You are in polite company

May I present the Earl of Sandwich
Do partake of his wares
And special desserts are served soon after
Presented in person by Anna Pavlova

The Duke of Wellington brought in some mud
Mr Macintosh is expecting a flood

Candido Jacuzzi and Joseph Pilates
Appear to be making friends
Henry Shrapnel and Joseph Guillotin
Who invited them?

Ferdinand von Zeppelin,
Perhaps you would like a schnapps?
Mr Winchester, Mr Colt, Mr Gatling, Mr Lewis
So many gunmen I'm alarmed I confess

May I trouble you Mr Hoover
To help tidy up the mess?
Nov 2014 · 714
Book limericks
martin Nov 2014
----------------

There was a young man from Bilbao
Who swallowed a book somehow
Can you suggest
How to digest
The thoughts of Chairman Mao?

------------------

There is a man not far from here
Who had a rather novel idea
To write a book
So a pen he took
And lo it did appear

--------------------

There was a young man from Brum
Who felt a book in his tum
He had it removed
Which just goes to prove
There's a book in everyone

-------------------

As a young man
I felt that I must
Write a long book
about love and lust
A publisher read it
Then promptly did shred it
      And told me to go drive a bus      

---------------------
Yours welcome
Nov 2014 · 957
San fairy ann
martin Nov 2014
Hunkered down we pass the plonk
We can see Madame and pay
We shake her hand and thank her
San fairy ann she'll say

Sergeant copped a blighty
He'll be on his way
He's thanking god almighty
San fairy ann I say

It's hard enough to smile through this
When folks get blown up every day
But all the while the whizz-bangs miss
San fairy ann we say
1st World War slang

plonk = vin blanc
cop a blighty = wounded, sent home to UK
san fairy ann = ça ne fait rien, it doesn't matter
Oct 2014 · 1.6k
Plus c'est la même chose
martin Oct 2014
Scientists tell us
Before the BIG BANG!
There was no time

Plus ça change...
Oct 2014 · 857
Harold Holt haiku
martin Oct 2014
rip tide, salty spray
sunset, deserted shoreline
clothes, neatly folded
Oct 2014 · 513
No conversation, a senryu
martin Oct 2014
No conversation
Scrolling finger up and down
A world of his phone
Oct 2014 · 834
Where's da poet?
martin Oct 2014
" Hai,ku you tell me if da poet lives rondeau bout here? "

" Yes, he's in Limerick, it's trochee to find but I'll senryu
acrosticarpark and it's the ode place with red tiles sonnet,
number 5-7-5 called Villa Nelle. "

" Tanka."
Oct 2014 · 705
Hong Kong limerick
martin Oct 2014
The eyes of the world are upon
The crowded streets of Hong Kong
They want a free
Democracy
And are out to right a wrong
Sep 2014 · 669
Gone for a Burton
martin Sep 2014
Gather his things, don't mention his name
I'm afraid he's gone for a burton
Someone saw him go down in flames
He's not coming back that's for certain

There is no time for grieving now
We'll shut him out of our minds
Keep him in our memory though
In the hope of better times

Tomorrow a lad will take his place
Newly trained, freshly faced

We'll tell him everything's fine
In the desperate days of the Battle of Britain the RAF was fighting to maintain air superiority over the Luftwaffe. The comrades of missing airmen borrowed the phrase  "gone for a burton", which was the slogan to an advert for Burton's beer which featured a picture of an empty chair.  The phrase entered the language, and it was relatively recently that I discovered its derivation. Sadly it now seems to be slipping out of use.
Sep 2014 · 964
Taxi !
martin Sep 2014
Out in my car, just for a ride
She said
I can tell how a man makes love
Just from the way he drives

Shall I be smooth
With confident smile
Or tear up the tarmac
Cut loose for a while

What is your preference,
May I ask?
Distracted I slam the next car up the ****
Aug 2014 · 3.7k
Carousels and glitter balls
martin Aug 2014
I looked inside her head
Thought I'd see carousels, glitter *****
Unicorns juggling golden orbs
Glinting diamonds, chandeliered halls

But there was only sawdust, bits of straw
Knotted string, plasticene and beetles wings

Expectation is a foolish thing
Aug 2014 · 623
The day she died
martin Aug 2014
Forty years a widow
Now ready, willing
Willing it to end

Reluctant to face the so long Winter
The Winter of the long goodbye

Gazing through the morphine haze
Holding a hand on the dying bed
She said  'Is that you Stephen?'
Thinking she was already dead
My Grandmother, 1973
martin Aug 2014
They wanted a curriculum vitae
In absentia
I decided to ad lib
Ad nauseum
Ipso facto, lie and deceive
Exaggerate, mislead et cetera

Hardly a bona fide
Modus operandi
They caught me in flagrante delicto

Requiescat in pace, (RIP) my chances
Now I'm persona non grata
Mea culpa
So many latin phrases are in common use, e.g. (that's one too) status quo, terra firma, ad hoc, compos mentis, in memorandum, in situ, ex gratia, the list goes on and on, almost ad infinitum.
I never studied latin but the school-yard rhyme goes
Latin is a dead language, as dead as dead can be
First it killed the Romans and now it's killing me
Not quite true.
The title translates  " We're always in the ****, it's just the depth that varies a bit."
Aug 2014 · 997
Hacker
martin Aug 2014
He's feeling so contented
Catastrophe prevented
A million reads, go look see
Most of them invented
martin Aug 2014
My friends and I are sitting in this bombed out house
Our rifles rest against the wall
No lamp is lit
As daylight fades the little window frames the moon
We smoke, we read, we write a letter home
We don't dwell on horrors past
Nor on what is yet to come

                                                I won't let my guts gush out
                                                Into foreign mud
                                                Nor die in no man's land alone
                                                I want to make it back to you
                                                I want to make it home

We're winning now, they're on the run
Supplies cut off, they're desperate
They've suffered even more than us
But we have to keep the pressure up
One thing I've learned while I've been here
Don't underestimate the ***

                                                     I've been here such a long time now
                                                     Seen so many good men die
                                                     Killed a good few too
                                                     I know that danger still surrounds us
                                                     Even now I might not make it through

I just need to carry on
Hold on to my life
You know that when I make it back to you
Soon we will be man and wife

                                                      Jack
Re-post
Inspired by a pencil drawing done by my Grandfather during the 1st World War. I have posted the sketch on my home page on this 100th anniversary of the outbreak of that terrible conflict. He volunteered at the start and survived the whole duration, receiving the Military medal and the Distinguished Conduct medal and bar. He died aged 50 probably from lung cancer due to being gassed.
Jul 2014 · 3.8k
Macbeth
martin Jul 2014
Tonight good Duncan, friend and guest
This dagger shall pass through thy breast
I shall be king as was the prophecy and belief
Told by the hags upon the heath

Unsexed like them, my Lady chides me still
For my kindness and uncertain will
Even as my dagger drips once more
And blood from noble Banquo stains the floor

Now in blood so far I'm steeped
Only can I wade more deep

But this horizon leads no longer to infinity
Steadily it closes in on me
Slow but marching all the same
Toward the hill at Dunsinane

And though those warning words I scorned
Not all men are of woman born
Thus proves the prophesy no lie
Live by the sword and therefore by it die
In theatrical circles the superstition persists that it is very bad luck to mention the title of  "the Scottish play".  Such is the power of Shakespeare's  Macbeth.

References:
Act I  Scene V  (Lady Macbeth to Macbeth)
  yet do I fear thy nature;
It is too full o' the milk of human kindness
To catch the nearest way

Act I  Scene VI  (Lady Macbeth)  
Come you spirits
That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here,
And fill me from the crown to toe-top full
Of direst cruelty!

Act III  Scene IV  (Macbeth)
I am in blood,
Stepped so far that should I wade no more,
Returning were as tedious as go o'er.

Act IV  Scene I  (Second Apparition)
Be ******, bold, and resolute; laugh to scorn
The power of man, for none of woman born
Shall harm Macbeth

Act IV  Scene I (Third Apparition)
Be lion-mettled, proud; and take no care
Who chafes, who frets, or where conspirers are:
Macbeth shall never vanquish'd be until
Great Birnam wood to high Dunsinane hill
Shall come against him
Jul 2014 · 592
Mass with Father Ted
martin Jul 2014
Said Father Ted we have no wine
Nor have we any bread
Let us have a show of hands
For sure the lord will understand
If we go down to Malley's bar
And use some stout instead

The verger said it slipped my mind
I left the prayer books all behind
Said Father Ted well never mind
We all know Auld Lang Syne

Father didn't carry cash
Nor did the verger by his side
But still they sank a pint or three
The lord he did provide

They staggered home through the snow
Not caring if they'd sinned
The verger fell into a drift
And carved some angel wings

Father Ted went home to rest
He dreamed of water turned to wine
For sure he thought, we do our best
To muddle through our earthly time
Jun 2014 · 2.8k
Choir boy limerick
martin Jun 2014
There was a vicar from Fife
Who never took a wife
Instead he toyed
With a choir boy
And buggered him up for life
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