You're fine, you nod
As you blink back the tears.

You're fine, you smile
As you pull down your sleeves.

You're fine, you say
As you scream at the voices in your head.

But really,
You're not fine at all.

I hold you in my arms
And gaze in wonder
We've only just met and yet
I love you with all my heart

I cannot help but be envious
You have no need to worry
We will protect you from the world
Until you can speak for yourself

I pray that you never have to suffer
As I have for all these years
I pray that you always know
That you are never alone

I promise that you will grow up strong
Proud of everything you are
I promise that I will never let you
Believe you are not enough

I have to thank you, little one
You brought some light into my life
I felt it touch my soul
And now I have hope for tomorrow

You look at me
and see a smile.
Look closer
and you'll see a grimace.
You can't tell?
I'm trying to smile
through the pain.
For once I must
be doing a good job.
You can't see.
Or maybe you don't want to.
Either way
I'll keep pretending.