I'm never going to be the same
so I'll stop trying
I think that maybe I'm going insane
there's the cause for all of my crying
they all know I'm in emotional pain
yet they still keep on prying
I can't take much more, it's an unfair game
but I stay quiet and I'm inwardly dying

if i could hand you the world on a silver platter
trust me i would, you're so special to me
i want us to have a happily ever after
and i can't imagine anywhere else I'd rather be

than right here
in your arms
whispering in your ear
about how you're my shooting star
you shot across my sky
when i was in
the darkest of nights

we shine
like diamonds
so bright

and the love we share
is worth the fight

i wish i was totally numb and i could not feel
but the constant torment reminds me it is real
i'm alive
surprised i survived

i can hardly breathe
yet i still can think

everyday
i re-live the pain
my antedote is gone
i'm alone

so much...pain


why does it have to be this way?

agony, let go of me
I'm suffering
oh so slowly
i fight to take a breath
i'm so sorry ken, jordain

i'm losing my mind
running  out of time
yet i still can rhyme
make the pain stop...

It's how I feel
I wonder if I'll heal
cuz
he took the breath out of me
left a gaping hole where my heart should be
left an open wound
I hope it'll fix itself soon
dangerous game
I'll never be the same
It toys with my mind and I've run out of time.

tick tock
hands spinning around a clock
tick tock
will thIs day ever stop
pushing at me
getting at me
trying to make me see...
I don't want to see...
How bored
I really am.

i'm begging Agony
to let go of me
leave me
let me be
please, i cant see
someone heal me
revive me
i'm drowning
so alone, so helpless
******, Pain, i shan't forget this
but i bet that
i'll forget that
i basically asked for this
to have to sit and reminisce
litterally begged for it
gotta have someone to miss
i had to want to be loved by
someone who was gonna leave without a goodbye
not a tear, no, he did not cry
this i know
but he had to go
NO AGONY DON'T-

im almost gone
wasting away
completely alone...

Just gotta fix my eyes
and say amen
I'll speak life
and seek You again
First.

Do you ever think about me?
Because I dream of all the things you said we'd be.
Daily, I cry over everything you said we'd do.
Truly, I was ready to live my life on the run with you.

I'd said it before.
told you, I wanted nothing more
than to be loved by you...
and all I wanted to do was
be your everything.
"girl of your dreams'
whatever that means.

Because I understand none of this
I don't get it, my life was so full of bliss
before you walked out the door.

Left the essence of you behind
now at night when i dream
we meet in my mind
and all the time
I wait until I'm alone to cry.
I wonder why
You left ME behind
Because you promised me
You would never leave.

My dear human diary...
Why did you make a promise
you couldn't keep?

We all get addicted to something
that takes away the pain
but sometimes we don't see
we're playing a dangerous game
You go from strangers, to friends,
to more than friends, then strangers
But you felt so in love
you didn't see the hidden dangers
you got in over your head
and you're left wondering if it's over yet

this hurt, this pain-
it hasn't gotten any better.
I'm hoping and praying it doesn't last
forever.
feels like I've gotten left out in bad weather
breaking benjamin-
"birds of a feather"

I can't see
can't breathe
help me
please...

I need
someone
anything
stop this agony...

out of time
I've lost my
will
to survive
I've learned to thrive

and I
can't take another
surprise
I gotta open my eyes
be more wise...

but I can't see
can't see
can't breathe
somebody help me
help me
save me
or I'll be
forever alone
on my own

well, I'd rather be
me
myself, and I
but why
do I feel
a need
for
something I can't have
I'm trying to open a locked door
no key

but I'm not talking of ken only...

deep down, I know
the hurt has yet to go
I know
I still care for jordain
so...

what'll I do now?
how
do
I
breathe?

he's
no longer by my side.
how will I sleep?
I got insomnia late at night

because I'm up cause of
the dreams
they **** me
inside
no where
to
hide
and I

can't see
can't see
can't
breathe
help me
save me
or I'll be
forever
alone.
on my own.

listening to Ne-yo
"what am I gonna do with forever now?"
how
will I breathe?    

every breath that I take
with every move I make
it's feeling more and more like I'm making the same mistakes.

because I breathe in
and I think of- of him
again

the memories
they get the best of me
**** me slowly
painfully
I ask again:
how will I breathe?

we've already established well enough that I can't see
maybe love can blind you
pain does the same but it also has more damage to do

pain targets my memories
the ones that get the best of me
tear apart the rest of me
force me to hold on and cry
lest I
forget
the good times
each and every morning's sunrise
every time I opened my eyes

to see the guy I thought
was the one for me

he and I are one
and the same

though he took all of my pain
away
every
single
day.

but every sweet and romantic kiss, every soothing touch...
it was a lie.

now all I can do is try
not to cry
I
sit and sigh
stare at the sky
wondering a simple thing
yet it is so complex indeed:

why did he come into my life and hurt me?
why didn't he just stay the hell away, and let me be?
why did I choose to let him in?
now I'm stuck with torment I can't describe-
would you like me to begin?

I mean, I
can try...

it's like having your heart ripped open then
sewing it shut
yet you still can't stop the fact that you care-
is this too much?

I mean, to care
though he is elsewhere.
yet... not so far away
because it would take me less than a day
to reach him
if I wanted to
it is something I could do.

this pain
is worse than I thought it would be
never before had I let someone this
close to me...
forever I'll be
wondering why...