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penn Oct 2015
I'm scared of myself 'cause I hear voices in my head,
Telling me when I'm wrong, saying I should be dead,
The voices question my sanity until even I think I'm crazy
They tell me that I'm all alone, that no one stands by me,
They say I'm unwanted and feed on my fears,
They claim that when I cry no one sees or hears my tears,
That no one cares when I cry,
That no one will miss me when I die
And no one truly loves me even my own wife.
When I'm angry or sad, they whisper in my ear
To eliminate the source of my pain, but I choose not to hear
Because I don't want to hurt anyone, to ****,
So then they tell me I should die, but I live through sheer will,
Hope that one day I'll wake up and the voices will be gone,
But I don't see how - they've been with me so long,
Questioning everything about me 'til I think I'm the worst,
Saying that the worst day in history was the day of my birth
The voices hurt me mentally, emotionally,
Sometimes they even hurt me physically
It's hard to live with them, to share my mind,
To feel like my brain isn't even mine,
To fight them off, to hold them at bay,
To try and be normal, push those voices away
I know I could tell someone, ask for help from them,
But that may prove to be a bit of a problem -
They may lock me up, calling me "crazy",
Tell me that I'm insane, a danger to me,
So I'll keep it inside, keep this secret shut away,
And keep on trying to live my life everyday
'Cause I'm not insane, I know what this is:
The only thing wrong with me is that : I'm schizophrenic that everyone hate.
penn Sep 2015
I first fell in love with your eyes and the way you used them to create me.
I then fell in love with your mouth and your words that just ate me.
It took too long to realize that I am not the way that you see me and writing my own poems would be much more easy.
  Sep 2015 penn
Purple Rain
A heart breaking against my chest,
Open me up
and I will show you the rest,
tell me to open my eyes
when it's over,
maybe then
I'll be sober
why don't you finish me off like the others did,
And forbid me to tell
so I can sit in silence
in this lonely and dark cell
maybe when the pain you inflicted is gone,
the white birds won't be in tuned with sad songs
the storm clouds will move along
and I will make my way
saying so long
penn Sep 2015
I lost a great innocence when I understood that I and my mind were not going to be on good terms for the rest of my life. I can’t tell you how tired I am of character-building experiences. But I treasure this part of me; whoever loves me loves me with this in it.
penn Sep 2015
Alice: "How long is forever?"
White Rabbit: "Sometimes, just one second."
penn Sep 2015
Alice : "Have I gone mad?"

Hatter: "I'm afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are."
penn Sep 2015
Not it isn't.
I didn't ask for depression.
I did not ask for social anxieties.

If I wasn't born with these things,
My life would be so much ******* easier,
So don't tell me it's my fault.
My life is ****.
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