I always feel like I have a losing hand
but this time I'm not sure because
I could just as well be rolling the dice alone
either way, I'm not winning anything.

tired of the same track on replay
in blown out speakers pulsing
electric signals calling and commanding
and one motion after the other-
I can't wait for a short in the signal
you'd think all the rain would've done the job
but the song still plays, still plays.

You're still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore.

You don't get to hurt me and then judge the way I respond.

no more last straws
I deserve better,
and there are no parentheses this time.

As I walk
the words of those that never existed
echo inside of my mind

I have learned
that you don't have to share each other's blood
to be the closest brothers

I can hear
thousands of voices swelling up inside
each begging for just one chance

I can see
every one of those smiling faces
that I've never laid eyes upon

Now I know
I'm friends with those that never existed
those that I have never met

I have fought
hundreds of battles with nary a scratch
but been mortally wounded

For I am
A warrior, a queen, a servant, a child,
a mere bystander

Because I
Have a library inside of my head
of all that I read

Milky golden light sawn through
murky heavens and it bent my glacial heart.
The scent of soggy leaves out on the lawn,
fall has come and done its part.
Winter weighs heavy in the idle air,
hung as though it were a conversation
not yet had

Waning passions hushed by waxing sighs
and unpacked bags in need of packing
before the coming sunrise.
I talk of leaving often but you silence it
with pint-size gulps of red wine,
drunken *** and yet another argument
before you cry