I am told that I should love my body,
and I should not be ashamed.
BUT the white, conservative men tell me otherwise, making me feel nothing but shame.

When did it become okay for a male's education to be more important than a woman's rights?

When did it become okay to sexualize a woman just because her shirt does not cover her rear end?

This is apparent in the things my teachers have told me.
"Your shirt must be fingertip length when wearing yoga pants," she said.
"Why?"
"Because the males that sit in the class might be too destracted to listen to my lecture."

We are treated like *** toys.
Us girls are used for nothing more than a mans pleasure, so they imply.

This is MY body, and no one else's.
I may do what I please,
and no one should have a problem with it.

I refuse to be sexualized and treated like we are living in the 1920s.
But I must conform and live in fear of my consequences.

**** culture is real,
and school's are promoting it.

what does one do
when the universal dew no longer
contains galaxies? your skin does not smell
of silence and the freshness
of the sunrise has baked away
all that is eternal- and yet, tomorrow
will rise again, pulsing the endless heartbeat of
loading, loading, loading, in this vast connectivity of life
and death
and never quite there?
what does one do
when death grabs you by the hair and drags you out the door
and you are confused with the awareness
that you are not self aware
but your soul claimed the knowledge that one day, soon,
it will die, and all things live and progress
and end- people are things as well- we are scared that
the last thing that's left in the world is not true-
we shall pass, you shall pass, the grass regrows
but it too ends- and now, it is not the same- for we know
the grass has only the appearance of eternity,
and the sun dies each night, and your grandmother
will one day not be here, and neither will you,
your soul shines bright but all matches burn out
cannot live through the lives of those it ignites-
even your children are not a lasting legacy of you
they are only a legacy of themselves- their time will end too.
so, what does one do?

but for you I'd wait
my fingers dancing over the pen and paper
I feel the fabric under my hands,
calloused lines tracing the pulp and fiction
soft, skating and this is all, this is all I can give you
no more, no less than words on a page, that
I can write late into the night and click clack
that you won't hear, no one will hear
no one is here, not even I, my spoken words have
crossed all lines, have erased boundaries
and have erased the thoughts and feelings so there is nothing left
I can give you nothing, I have not thought
a secret too private to write, I have not written
a thought too secret to remain private,
for you I'd wait- but I cannot get by and it is an endless cycle
of who I am and who I am pretending to be-
for as soon as the words fall out of my mouth,
they lose all meaning, and you will never know me
you will never know who I am, for it is gone,
even this is gone, I am not here,
and I will be waiting forever for you to find me.

I am at war with the boundaries that divide us
I urge with every muscle to strike them down
though the muscles themselves build the divisions
(my mind can never be in yours because
my body is separate and I will never be inside of you
as far as I desire to go)
there will always be tense heirarchies and lines-that-are-forbidden-to-cross and things
that you musn't say to a teacher, say, or a priest
and these invented boxes line our hearts and claim
that we are not created equal, all men and women are
endowed with certain unalienable rights
like the right to honesty, liberty,  and the pursuit of expression
that though I speak to you I may be fully me
but this can never be- you will always be you
so we must divide, now and stand on opposite sides
of the wall, look at each other through a glass
and though it seems we touch, we never can,
putting our hands up to a window, kissing through it
and my lips shall never meet yours-
and for that, I am at war with the glass;
I long for the warmth and the gentleness of your lips
but cannot, it is cold in between us, it is hell
to divide us and a damning cruelty
unites us beyond time, eternity, my heart beats divine
and you cannot feel it, and for that,
I am at war with the glass.

Why is it the most adventurous, fun jobs in life
Don't pay enough to even own a house

i would like to watch your heart beat
and your chest move up and down
as the breath that is partway mine
flows in and out of you

I realized, even though I had always had a feeling
I am completely asexual, with physical ****** things
And surprisingly, relationships and love
I'm sorry im not who  you wanted me to be
But I can't do it, because everytime we do something
I have this heart flutter, but I can't ignore
The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach
I'm not cut out to be in a relationship,
I'm too messed up to tell the difference
Between love and a frienship
I'm sorry that this isn't even a poem anymore
I'm sorry I can't go on dreaming about relationships and love
When I'll honestly never be in any of them
I'll always be there for you, and every thing I've told you is true
But I can't do it,
I'm too asexual

"Only tears can bring a dreamer back down to earth."

if you focus on the future, you shall despair when it is
no longer available
goes unplanned
or is gone
if you focus on the past, you shall always despair, as it is
gone forever
but if you live in the moment, and you exist in the presence of God,
there is no time, there is no despair,
there is only now, endless and forever joy from the
endless and forever light and love
that shall never abandon us,
never leave us lonely,
and shall always be on the throne-
we can do nothing to earn this,
we do not deserve this,
but we are blessed,
we are blessed,
we are blessed,
we are forever blessed.

I haven't looked up in a while
Neither for a god nor for the stars
I am one to walk lost among the crowd
Ghostly calls beckon me from my past
Morbid thoughts follow me into the dark
Lonely alleys drown me in desperate calls
And I search for your face, something to pull me back into the light.

I haven't smiled in the longest time
Nor have I sang our favorite song
Everything you left me with,
Still burnt into my mind,
Imprinted into every cell that makes me who I am.
And as I trace your touch across my body
Tears find their way through my scars.

Every star we named, the heavens we conquered
And the doors we unlocked with every thought, every smile
Everything I fondly remember as being close to my heart
Now, in remorse, here I am trying to bury all that
Collecting all the pieces and keeping my head held high.

I haven't looked up in a while
Neither for a god nor for the stars
Because they remind me of you.