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 5d Lyle
lizie
he tilts his head back when he laughs,
like joy is something he trusts will catch him.
he moves like music.
fluid, unbothered,
as if the world bends a little to let him through.

he talks with his hands,
but listens with his whole heart.
he remembers small things
like my favorite songs,
what makes me happy,
what time i usually start to spiral.

he’s the kind of boy who says “i miss you”
in between ordinary moments,
not afraid to feel with his whole heart,
and doesn’t shy away from mine either.

he works harder than anyone i’ve ever known.
he dresses his achievements
up as failures,
but he knows i see through it.

he’s gentle with people,
even when they’re not gentle with him.
he thinks too much,
but it’s only because he cares too much.

he believes he’s a mess.
i believe he’s a miracle.

and when he tells me he loves me,
it sounds like a promise
he made to himself
long before he met me.
a study of sean 🫶
 5d Lyle
lizie
i love the way he listens,
like nothing else matters.
i love how he always makes me laugh,
even when i don’t want to.

i love how easy it is
to be myself with him.
how he makes everything
a little less heavy.

i just…
i love him.
simple as that.
It's that Friday The 13th kind of thing,
When every thing's so good,
You just know something is gonna stab through.

I didn't want to make you feel this way,
I wasn't ignoring you.
It just took me a second to respond.

You will always be number one,
I understand my fault here,
Keeping my phone on ringer,
So I never take more than three minutes to answer you.
It's not bad luck it's me
 5d Lyle
Charmour
Yes,
I cut deep enough
to feel alive
But never deep enough
To die
 6d Lyle
lizie
summer with you
will be
forbidden meetings
and “tell me about your day.”
laughing in whispers,
loving in glances,
missing each other
endlessly and unforgivingly.

it will be
the ache of wanting more
and the sweetness of having enough.
murmurs of nothing across screens,
and talking in code,
listening to songs that only we understand.

it will be
the quiet promise
that we’ll stick together
in every way we know how.
new, different,
a little secret,
but still,
undeniably us.
 6d Lyle
lizie
you say you’re too much,
like love is a burden i wasn’t ready to carry.
but i knew what i was doing
when i reached out both those times.

you might unravel some days,
and i won’t flinch.
i won’t fold.
i will gather the thread,
and hold it gently against my heart,
until you can breathe again.

you worry you’re broken,
but i’ve never asked for perfection.
i never needed easy.
i only wanted real.
and you,
in all your aching,
your effort,
your heart that still tries,
you are the most real thing i’ve ever had.

i don’t want someone simpler.
i don’t want someone “less.”
i just want you.

every tangled thought.
every quiet panic.
every soft smile that fights its way through the dark.

i didn’t stumble into this,
i chose you.
on purpose.
and i will choose you again
every time the world asks me to prove it.
 6d Lyle
Nicole
You opened me up
I spilled to you
You are always there
All the time
Even it hurt a bit
I thought it would help
To tell someone
But you were never
Really someone
At the end of the day
Your always there
At the end of the day
Your always just
Complicated
Numbers
Beautiful
Numbers
I love
Numbers
But I don't
Know how to
Use them
Correctly
You hurt me
You were two different
people for me
Then you ripped
Both of your masks off
Let me see that your still
A robot
Please please please please please please please don't ever start talking to a robot about personal stuff , ever.
 6d Lyle
Liana
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
He asks
It's because I want to hug him and tell him he's so so lovable
And that he is a boy
But I can't

"I'm happy you're writing again, but I'm sad for you"
I say
I want to cry for him
Take all the hurt
And I know that's crazy
Either way I can't
And I won't

The bad side of caring so much I suppose
I want to cry for other people often. This moment today though was hard because I felt so helpless. I couldn't do anything to stop the pain. And it's not even socially acceptable to randomly hug people, so that wasn't there either. I don't know, but when it comes to my friends and loved ones I tend to be like this.
 6d Lyle
Liana
I told him I never wanted to see him again
Which I guess was true
I mean that's the logical thing
It's not safe or pleasant
But some part of me is still devastated I suppose
I mean after all he has always existed with me
Even since I was born
He's always technically been there
Even if he was there hurting me

I'm afraid
I'm afraid
I'm afraid of the suicide note he'll leave
"Because of Liana" it will say
Whether it's true or not those words will echo my insides
And later appear as blood pouring down my arm

And part of me is sad too
I wish
**** I wish on every star that he would just be okay
Be there to protect me
A shoulder to cry on
Be a father
Not someone I may need a restraining order for

I carry it around with me everywhere
It chokes me
Wraps it's boney arms around me
Makes my body weak
And makes me not be able to eat

I told him I never wanted to see him again
And I know that it sounds cruel
"Oh, but he's your father!"
But he never was
I wish
Oh how I wish I would never have to utter those words

I want it to be normal that I miss him
Because part of my heart throbs
I want that if I said that those who knew what he'd done would get it
That it would be acceptable
Because right now I do miss him
Or maybe I miss what never was
 6d Lyle
Liana
Mirror
 6d Lyle
Liana
My reflection in the mirror taunts me
Who could ever love this?
My friends tell me I'm beautiful
But they are just kind
I see my body in mirror
I know that these are lies

In the photo
They are
Extraordinary
And there I am
With my awkward thumbs up
Hideous

"Too big"
My reflection screams at me
"Like your father"
It shouts

I hate myself even though
I am a person who loves
Loves so strongly
So easily
It's so easy for me to love others
But the mirror
Oh the mirror makes me hate me
Yup
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