Luminosity Cat: Poems

476 · May 2015

Untitled

Luminosity Cat May 2015

Untitled

I'll admit, I was scared to trust again.
To love whom had human nature to guide there selfish ambitions.
But you looked at me and realized I was not who I hid behind - I am so much more.

473 · Sep 2013

Home

Luminosity Cat Sep 2013

Home

Home - A place of rest.
A place of faith.
A place where my family once lived.
A place of dance.
A place of song.
A place where we all sing along.
A place music is written for an instrument not itself.

However, once a place where these joys resided, now wakes only death and sorrow.

A place of enemies.
A place of crying

A place of argueing.
A place where the song written is written to hurt.

A place in which my soul has died.
A place in which I can't reside.

A place in which my anger dwells.
A place that is a living hell.

471 · May 2014

It is Okay

Luminosity Cat May 2014

It is Okay

Demons echo through the night.
She seems to cave without a fight.
The pain is to great to keep on running.
You may never again see her dancing.

Hell's gates greet his pain.
No one cares to tame life's mane.
His life seems be burning in hell.
All because of the secrets he can't tell.

Look at the girl who sits all alone.
Dying inside because of her mother's cruel tone.
Her life has been taken by man's cruel thief.
Nothing can bring her true piece.

He takes the gun to school one day.
Everyone keeps walking away.
He planed the shooting, and took the lives.
He never again plans to look at the skies.

To all those who feel this, know I do too.
It just isn't fair what life has done to you.
I know what people have taken away.
Just remember,
it is okay to not be okay.
It just isn't okay to stay that way.

It is okay not to be okay. It just isn't okay to stay that way forever.

469 · Feb 2015

Wall

Luminosity Cat Feb 2015

Wall

I suppose this wall is to blame.
No windows. No doors. Just brick.
No way to claw out of it,
But the effort is killing me.

I suppose the construction worker is to blame.
No ladder. No rope. Just height.
No way to climb over,
But I try in desperation.

No tunnel.
No passage.
Nothing.

I suppose I'm to blame.
I did built it so long ago.
I forgot how to get out.
This is my mind after all.

466 · Mar 2014

Death I Greet

Luminosity Cat Mar 2014

Death I Greet

I feel deception's grip as the Devil
pulls me to his pit.
I feel Satan's warn embrace as he helps
me to my grave.
Demons come to flog my soul.
My spirit dying, chasing through
the haunted cold.
Heaven's gate shut me out.
Lucifer's beckon with a shout.
Arms spread wide, for death I greet.
At long last I shall go in peace.

466 · Apr 2014

Then, Now, Soon

Luminosity Cat Apr 2014

Then, Now, Soon

Then I danced before your eye, while you watched grand jetes fly.

Then you guessed my heart aches plea, so you spoke truth into me.

Then you saw my secret's pain, so you tried to tame it's mane.

Now you see me speaking out, because you were the first to shout.

Now you see me living free, because you broke through reality.

Now you see me chasing dreams, because they no longer frighten me.

But soon I'll be all alone, and all you will leave is a phone.

Soon it will be your time to leave, and I will beckon with a plea.

**A plea begging you not to leave.

One of the downfalls to being me, is that you get emotionally attached to people, and they just leave. Like I have said before, I could beg her not to leave, but how can you beg someone to leave knowing their heart wants to flee?

465 · Feb 2015

Find it where Lost

Luminosity Cat Feb 2015

Find it where Lost

We write poems, and dance.
We sing and we act.
Sometimes we draw and paint,
        but for what?

Someone once told me,
Write and dance to loose yourself.
That's what I then thought I had to do.
         I was wrong and that was then

I used to think the purpose of art was to loose myself,
but I quickly learned it was to,
         *find myself where I lost myself.

458 · Mar 2015

No Fear, Live Life

Luminosity Cat Mar 2015

No Fear, Live Life

I will not stop swimming in a sea because I'm afraid of sharks.

I will not stop dancing because I'm afraid of tripping.

I am not going to stop smiling for fear that you won't smile back.

For that same reason, yes the very same - I won't be quiet for fear of not being heard.

I won't stop being me for fear you may judge me.

We're all going to the same place - down in the ground.

Most of our lives will be summed up in a dash between two dates on a slab of stone.

I'm going to live, and I will be heard because I'm not afraid live - truly live.

Live life to its fullest, you only have one.

Don't let others talk you into silence.

Don't go in your grave before you get a chance to live.

457 · Jan 2016

Infinite Pieces

Luminosity Cat Jan 2016

Infinite Pieces

You keep breaking my heart into an infinite amount of pieces, but I keep picking up the pieces and placing them back in your hands.

445 · Feb 2015

Weight Damage

Luminosity Cat Feb 2015

Weight Damage

Hey, fat child, look at yourself.
You can't possibly be happy with the way you look.
Let me help you, child.
Just loose one pound, its all you need.

Hey, fat child, look at yourself.
You can't be happy with that fat!
One or two more pounds can't hurt.
Look, now you've lost three.

Hey, look, your still fat.
Loose a little more weight.
Just a few more pounds.
Soon no one will hate.

Look at how much you've lost,
you poor, fat, child.
Are those ribs?
Just a few more and you'll be perfect.

There goes four,
then five,
six, ten, soon twenty five more.
Look at your ribs.

Skinny, dumb, ugly, child.
You've ended up in the hospital!
Don't you know your supposed to eat.
You were so dumb to listen to me.

Its funny how society tells us to loose more and more weight, but as soon as a teenager or child ends up in the hospital for starving themselves we look at them as if they have damaged themselves. WAKE UP! We've damaged them. They never damaged themselves.

443 · Feb 2015

Cut

Luminosity Cat Feb 2015

Cut

There is this wound,
                  its on my left arm.
It kind of resembles the one on my hip,
                  but this one was longer and more jagged.
It'll heal like the one on my hip,
                   but it's cousin will appear very near.
It oozed blood at first,
                   but it stopped bleeding after a few minutes.
Oh, look,
                    now there is another right next to it.
And another, and another,
                    and another, and another.
Its like medication,
                    for the pain that hurts the most.
The pain of my heart is to great,
                     the knife keeps my wounds coming and the pain at bay.

438 · Oct 2013

Her Eyes

Luminosity Cat Oct 2013

Her Eyes

When you look in her eyes, what do you see?
When I look into her eyes, I'll tell you what I see -
I see constant pain staring at me.
I don't see joy, and I don't see glee.
I see tears beginning to shed in front of me.

438 · Apr 2015

Person of Glass

Luminosity Cat Apr 2015

Person of Glass

It isn't that I don't love them, because often I do.
It isn't that I don't care, because I do that too.

I guess its just that I don't think someone can love someone like me.
I build my garden walls so high that they are impossible to break down.
I'm moody, depressed, and a hot mess.

I'm a blazing fire that will never be put out, and people always get burned playing with fire.
I am an emotional wreck of shattered pieces, and it is easy to get cut on the glass.

Yet, when those class pieces hurt others, it is never because I don't love them, its because I'm a girl that can't handle being hurt again.
I push them away so I can't break anymore.

I'm tired of being like this.
It's just kind of sad that they don't try to fight when I push them away.

437 · Dec 2013

The Heart of a Move

Luminosity Cat Dec 2013

The Heart of a Move

There is something in a move that makes a heart shatter.
There is something in a heart that knows some goodbyes are forever.
There is something that sees the end of time.
There is something that hears a wail of tears.

But there is something in a heart that knows change is good.
There is something there that sees adventure in a move.
There is something there that knows memories will prosper.
There is something there that sees a future.

My heart breaks at the propspect of saying goodbye to those I love dearly. Yet, my heart jumps at the sight of adventure. When standing in a hall of doors, if one door is shut, another must be opened. Although, yes, my heart will yern to travel back in time to where my heart lies; I must surge forward in my journey of life.

436 · Feb 2014

Beautiful Flaws

Luminosity Cat Feb 2014

Beautiful Flaws

I see her so clearly.
The young teen, filled with such beauty.
If only she could see what I see so clearly.

I see the way she looks at her reflection.
She looks at herself filled with hate toward her precious image.

I notice when she doesn't eat.
I see her ribs come for a peek.
I hear her when she pukes at night.
I know the pain she feels inside.

I wish I could let her see, what I see so clearly.
I see a girl with beautiful flaws.
I see a girl who dazzles.
I see the way he lusts for her.

I see the way society murders.
I see the way covers conflict pain.
Their trying to change the generations ways.

I am sick and tired of society telling teens what they should look like. Beauty is what is on the inside, not the outside. I can't stand the way the media gets into the heads of the generation and tells them they have to look a certain way to be labeled as pretty. For the love of humanity, can we just teach the generation to look at themselves as gorgeous?

436 · Feb 2015

Untitled

Luminosity Cat Feb 2015

Untitled

If you looked,
I mean really looked,
would you see me?
I mean really see me.

I don't mean the side of me that smiles,
or the side of me that laughs,
or that seems care free,
or loving.

I mean the side of me that cries,
that is flooded with pain,
with blood on my arms,
and feels alone.

When you look at me,
do you look at my appearance,
or do you look in my eyes,
or do you even look at all?

Please, tell me what you really see.
Look at me.
Really look at me,
because I don't think you really see.

Maybe its time you really looked.

436 · Oct 2014

Lullaby

Luminosity Cat Oct 2014

Lullaby

Hush little child, don't you cry.
Don't cut your arms, I can't say goodbye.
I know it hurts, but you'll be alright.

Careful little child, that's a very sharp knife.
Try to put it down, it won't help you tonight.
I know it's painful, but it will be alright.

Think darling child, it's a long way down.
Jumping off a roof, might **** you now.
I know it's painful, but you might be alright.

See you, lovely child, you have said goodbye.
You jumped off a roof, now you've lost this fight.
I'm sorry I couldn't help, you tried to hold on tight.

Life isn't easy, and sometimes you can't win this life.

434 · Sep 2013

Darkness

Luminosity Cat Sep 2013

Darkness

The sun seems to have finally set, and the darkness has come to settle a debt.
A piece of my soul has been cast away, and the devil inside me cannot be kept at bay.
The scars, they bear heavy while my friends are all cheery,

Death begins to talk, it even seems to taunt.
My mind begins to sway, and I think I'm going crazed.
My heart seems so empty, I force myself to be lonely.

418 · Feb 2014

Pain

Luminosity Cat Feb 2014

Pain

My pain
My scars
My Tears

My fear, it devoures me.

The Desire
No.. The want
No.... The Need
To have physical pain to undo the mental pain, it destroys me.

My mind -
Plays tricks
Feeds me lies
Teaches me my addictions.

I am -
Imprisoned
Chained
Drowning
Loved

I Feel -
Broken
Alone
Abandoned
As if there is no escape

Like dying.

417 · Mar 2014

Go

Luminosity Cat Mar 2014

Go

I knew you would leave.
I knew it wouldn't be long.
I just didn't imagine life without you.
Without you to sing your song.

You were there for me when I was hurting.
When pain was ripping me apart.
I don't know how I'll survive without you.
Without you to sing along.

I know why you are leaving.
I just can't bare to see you go.
My anger dwells within me.
I know it shouldn't though.

I know you aren't really moving.
You aren't leaving me alone.
Your just leaving me excuseless for me to see you.
I know its not on purpose.

I know facebook works wonders,
and our cell phones always can be used.
Its just not the same.
I hate watching you go.

I would ask you to stay.
I'd ask you not to go.
I know my pain is great,
but not as much as it would be if I asked you to stay,
knowing your heart is telling you go.

So, go ahead follow your path.
Just don't forget me and how I looked up to you so.
The tears I shed, you will never see.
I don't want to see how much I dread you leaving me.

#tears #leave #dread #survive #leaving #hurting

415 · Apr 2014

Your Eyes

Luminosity Cat Apr 2014

Your Eyes

The stars, they sparkle in the night.
The diamonds they dazzle from within.
The truest form of love so pure.
They say their the window to the soul.

Blue from the sky's summer day.
They seem to take the pain away.
Wise from youth beyond your years.
It seems as if they bleed no tears.

410 · Feb 2014

The Boy I Loved

Luminosity Cat Feb 2014

The Boy I Loved

I long for your affection.
I long for your praise.
I long for the love you gave me, on that sorrowful day.

I miss you like I miss the dark.
I loved you like I loved the scars.
I miss the way you kissed my cheek.
I loved the times you gave to me.

I don't regret my time with you.
I do regret that you didn't follow through.
I don't regret the love we shared.
I do regret the way I cared.

I hate myself for running back.
I love myself for giving you the chance.
I hate myself, for pain you caused.
I love myself, for joy the joy you brought.

I miss you like I miss the dark.
I love you like I loved the scars.

He brought my joy, and he brought me grief. I love(d) him deeply. I wish I could just let go. I miss him a lot, but chances come and go.

388 · Jul 2014

I have a Secret

Luminosity Cat Jul 2014

I have a Secret

I have a secret that burns my flesh.

I have a secret that takes my breath.

A secret so impure.

A secret so secure.

It is buried in my soul.

It digs a never ending hole.

When it speaks, it tells story.

When it speaks, it tells of death's sure glory.

When I cry, I feel it's pain.

When I cry, I hide in shame.

I have a secret, plain as day.

I have a secret, till the grave.

386 · Sep 2013

Goodbye <3

Luminosity Cat Sep 2013

Goodbye <3

I close my eyes.
I try not to cry for the ones I once held dear.
I close my eyes to say goodbye, for I know the end is near.
I try not to cry as I remember the times we laughed and cried.
I close my eyes and try to imagine our farewell is not here.

This is written in loving memory of three of my best friends. One who is moving to Florida in a week and another who is moving to Florida in eleven months. Another who is moving to Indiana in two weeks. Also in loving memory of my sister. I love you all so amazingly much. I don't know how I'm going to survive without you. You were there for me when no one else was. I love you all dearly and I can't express that enough.

385 · Mar 2014

Sleep

Luminosity Cat Mar 2014

Sleep

My only relief is to be sleeping.
When I'm sleeping nothing can hurt me.
I can't be angry.
I can't spend my hours crying.
I won't feel like dying.
I can't feel the emotions that ****** me.

But when I'm awake..
I can't take the pain the surrounds me.
I become angry.
I can't help, but cry.
I just want to die.

383 · Apr 2014

Who Time has Stolen

Luminosity Cat Apr 2014

Who Time has Stolen

Time is slowly turning.
I'm staring at the clock.
Every time I hear it's tick, my heart slowly stops.

They are quickly leaving.
I'm still stuck in the dust.
Each time a "Goodbye" is echoes, my heart shatters in the grave.

He is still persisting.
I'm just trying to avoid.
Every time he comes I around, my heart tries to run away.

She was the one I turned to.
Now I'm lying to her face.
Every time I speak a lie, my heart tries to turn away.

She was the friend I trusted.
It was her who always cared.
Now every time I see her face, my heart screeches out in pain.

He was the one who made me laugh.
He always seemed to care.
Now every time I hear his name, my heart turns to rage.

She was the one who understood.
She always stood right there.
Now whenever I talk to her, her heart seems to move away.

She is the one who moved away, and the only one who remains.
I fear my heart may loose her,
and every time I hear her voice, my heart wonders how much longer.

He was the one who hurt me.
The one who never cared.
Now when I see his face, my heart turns away from fear.

Ask me who these people are, but I cannot give a name.
These are the people my heart loved.
Some friends.
Some mentors.
Some family members.
All of which time has took, and left me in the dust.
It is hard to move on, when my heart is still living in what was.

My heart cries for who I lost. My mind is raging out because I miss the people I can't have back. I try to move on, but I can't. When will this wretched war of loosing and finding ever stop? When will I stop feeling alone? Is no one listening to my cries?!

369 · Apr 2014

Stakes in the Land

Luminosity Cat Apr 2014

Stakes in the Land

The oceans hear their cry from it's depths,
and when their hearts are breaking its the waves that are cracking it's
whips.

The scars streak blood across the skin.
Anxiety is raging a monstrous war that's within.

The nails that bare across the flesh,
leave wounds created by it's tips.

Words thrown as stones, and used on their bones,
break their backs with all their attacks.

When will the people of this land,
stop and consider the stakes that are at hand.

364 · Apr 2014

Untitled

Luminosity Cat Apr 2014

Untitled

There can be no excuse for your lie.
Never.
Ever.

It isn't even worth giving a tittle to something so simple, pure, and true. A tittle would just make it more of something. No, for once I right a simple something that takes my heart and rips it to shreds.

363 · May 2014

Home

Luminosity Cat May 2014

Home

The place at which my roses laugh.
The place of which my garden's craft.
The place in which I beg to seek.
The place through which heaven I see.

It is the place where my heart resides.
Where bombs were ticking at my side.
When it blew, it took my pride.
Yet, it still is where my heart resides.

I long to hear my rose's voice.
I long to walk in my garden's joys.
I long to speak with my colorless friend.
I long to feel passion again.

Alas, I miss my home.
Where my friends, they are my rose.
A clump of roses, in a bed of thorns.
Yet, still they are where my garden was born.

It is days like today, where I miss my home. It is days like today I miss my friends, the roses of my garden. Days like today, I feel like I could die because I know they've moved on. Yet, I can't. I know every step I take is a victory, and no matter how alone a feel, this pain can't possibly last forever. I miss home, but I can't go back. I miss home, but it is a distant memory that is fading to dust.

340 · Jun 2014

When it is Dark

Luminosity Cat Jun 2014

When it is Dark

When the pain is to great, and you feel you are falling just look to the stars, and know he is watching.
When the days are like night, and the devil is attacking.
If the darkest of days just keep on coming.

When a hero won't come, and you think you are done just look to the stars and know he is watching.
When a knife leaves a scar, and blood keeps flowing
When your mind keeps on shouting, and addictions are running.

When you can't see the day, and death seems the way.
If the past is to great to carry its weight.
When life is to grim, and you just can't fit in.
If life is to grey, to keep seas a bay.
Look to the stars, and know he is watching.
Look to the stars, and know he is coming.

303 · Apr 2015

Untitled

Luminosity Cat Apr 2015

Untitled

Conforming to the wicked ways that we have been told to shape into.

Told to mold ourselves to who they want us to be, then insisting our dreams are to big.

Don't be that person who listens to society's every beckon call.

You are not defined by like on a picture or a comment on a status, or the words whispered behind your back.

You are defined only as you define yourself and if your dreams seem possible than they aren't big enough.

— The End —