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I was shallow
So very cruel
Cold as ****
Greed consumed me
My life empty
No time to feel
Only thing real
Is the money
It's ******* funny
When it's there
Fake ***** care
Now I'm broke
I'm a joke
Here's some real
I'm lost
Looking for a place
My mind I face
With intent
To vent
To expel
Maybe repel
What I feel
As I write
You just might
See how true
I am with you
Every line I conceive
Isn't to deceive
They're a lifetime
In a rhyme
Good and bad
Happy and sad
All the *******
Living with it
I won't mind
If you find
My words pointless
As I confess
After all was said and done
He wrapped himself around me
In a tightly formed question mark
The answer to which I yet do not know

I spent the night tossing in confusion
His midnight kisses further puzzling my thoughts
A random hookup wasn't this to be?

No feelings
No attachments
No anything
Wasn't that the unsaid plan?

Then why did I feel this growing fondness
For a boy I barely knew
Whose one and only connection to me
Were the stupid investments our fathers had made

Why did I want to hold him back?
Kiss his cheeks with the same gentleness he showed me
When the plan was always a physical one?


This monthly ritual of his I succumbed to
My mind overthrown by multiple questions
While my body gave to him every part of me I could

Until on a lonely Friday my eyes opened
The metaphors I had discovered
Now lay dead around me
The reality lying startlingly naked ahead of me

It was not care that brought him close
It was not any symbol of love he saw

A woman's body is all he acknowledged
My soul never receiving the gratification it dreamed for
There were no metaphors to this story
No hidden secrets waiting to be discovered

Just a girl who hoped for more
Settling for a boy couldn't ever see more
Than her naked waist
The tickle of moving hair
The flutter of her lips in ecstasy
The sigh in her heart as he moved away

— The End —