I have a tendency
To gravitate towards things
I cannot have
I am in a constant battle with
Air particles
Blocking their attempts
To bring me closer to you
But i cannot have you
Therefore
I am constantly
Fighting against gravity
But Einstein once said
That gravity cannot be blamed
For people falling in love
So instead
I'll just blame
You.

i believe that a glass is half empty
or half full
depending on which way
the liquid is going
if you fill it halfway
it is half full
if you dump out half
it is half empty

i feel like half of me
has been dumped out
and i can't manage to care
about him or you
all i want to do is hurt myself
"because i probably
have it coming anyway"
and i'm sorry

i know it's a lie
i do care
i care a lot
but i feel so numb
i don't feel care right now
and i'm sorry

and all i want to do
is be drunk
and be touched
and be loved
and i don't know
if it's a good idea
because you are broken and so am i
and i am sorry

and in less than four hours
you will know
exactly how
broken
i am
and i am sorry

red blood cells live for about four months
white blood cells can live for over a year
skin cells live about two to three weeks

slowly, hour by hour
day by day
week by week
month by month
year by year
my body will die and replace itself

and surely enough
some day
eventually
i will have a body you never touched
and hair you never pulled

Teach me how to fight. Teach me how to be strong like you so I don’t cry that much. Hold me in your arms when I’m sad and spend the whole day with me to cheer me up. And when it’s late at night and I can see nothing but the light from a window or two in the building across the street from us, I’ll play with your hair until you fall asleep, and we can talk about everything and nothing while we do that, because between you and me, we are exemplary in the art of discussing everything and nothing. I won’t have to miss you because you’ll already be there, but I’ll miss you anyway because I understand the meaning of the word 'ephemeral', and I will worry until I’m fraught about not wanting the sun to come up and for me to leave later on, even though that’s much later on.

In the morning I’ll wake up first. I’ll catch a peek at you, still asleep, prone to really sleeping in. It's okay because we take turns playing hide and seek with self-control. I’ll turn pages in the meantime and then when you wake up we'll idly peruse tumblr, check our phones in case we have any messages from boys we'd sworn ourselves away from, and facebook stalk half the world before we realize we really should have breakfast. And I won’t let you do anything for me except maybe show me where you put the bagels, because I can get a cup myself (you know that I'm a little clumsy but you trust that I won't wreck your kitchen), and I can pour myself some orange juice.

We’ll talk but we’re also quiet, just basking in sunlight and warmth, and the contented comfort of being beside someone else who knows you so well. Later after we’re done with our late breakfast but not quite brunch meal, you’ll give me this look that says “Let’s go on an adventure.” And we scurry off into your bedroom, and get all dolled up and do our makeup but we never make ourselves into people we're not. I borrow a shirt of yours and slip on my flats and a bright scarf and we’re on our way.

Lather, rinse, repeat repeat repeat. This song is on repeat because it’s my favorite song, and everyday I want to spend with you because you are my favorite person.

Jealousy.
I don’t like to say the word.
I dislike the shape of her.
The way she dips and curves—
she ends on a self-assured slant
as if to imply that you’ll be back for more.
 
Nothing sweet to offset her bitter bite
as her slimy saltiness rolls over your tongue.
She seeps into each and every open crevice.
To resist her is useless—
she’s designed to commandeer.
Your mouth will only produce words
soaked with her disdain. 
 
It's no secret you're at her mercy
as you watch another’s fingers
run through his hair.
If you have teeth, grit them.
If you have fists, clench them.
Narrow your gaze until  
her green vines uncoil and twist through
your arms, your legs.
A cartographer crafting
a brand new map of veins
pumping something stronger than blood.

Your misery is her victory,
and she makes no promise
to quiet her celebration.

I found her near a large Oak in the woods,
Not far from where that old cabin stood,
She was sputtering blood and not far from death,
I hadn't much water, but I gave her what was left,
Her eyes so weary and the purest black,
I felt heartless and wondered what her attacked,
Her wounds malicious and so very deep,
Yet she didn't convulse or even weep,
The Sun was almost rising then,
I wondered what compelled such men,
She had been, the passed night, all alone,
I knew all she wanted was Home,
And slowly her eyes went right to mine,
At that moment, I knew inside,
I watched every ounce pass from this life,
I sat there, pathetic, wondering if I could cry,
I heard her last painful and drowning breath,
She heard, like a gavel, my passing steps.

you get on my last nerve
you never want to talk to me
you tell me i'm your best friend
then you completely ******* off
for someone better

i really want to hate you
we've been friends for too long
but you never notice when i'm angry
you don't care when i'm upset
you're not there when i need you

but oh god
when you're drunk
off of tequila sunrise
and i'm drunk
off of a margarita
i love the way you want me

I once read
That in 7.6 billion years
The sun
Having reached its maximum size
Will shine 3,000 times brighter
Than it does now
I have always wondered
How it is possible
To know such a thing
When 100 years
Is beyond a lifetime
How we could possibly
Look so far into the future
When now seems like an eternity
And tomorrow is miles away
How can we embrace the moment
When we are constantly being told to plan ahead
And what's the point
Of waiting 7.6 billion years
When the sun is already
Shining
And the moon
Already loves her?