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 Dec 2013 lina S
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You're The...
 Dec 2013 lina S
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You're the ***** secret I keep in my head
You're the one I think of when in bed
You're the devil I like sinning for
You make love seem like more

Sinful princess
With her short dress
Eyeliner winged
And sweet curls

Dark lipstick
Red like blood

Dark nailpolish
Poetic black
© Natali Veronica 2013.
 Dec 2013 lina S
Madison
let go
 Dec 2013 lina S
Madison
we've all got bitter hearts
that won't let go
of what our shaking hands
are holding on to
let it go
 Dec 2013 lina S
Love
Kiss You
 Dec 2013 lina S
Love
We sit there,
And talk,
For hours on end.
And the entire time we're together,
I just want to kiss you.
Here's to the friends who will drop anything to be there when I need them.
Here's to the friends who sit with the intent to listen,
not to speak.
Here's to the friends who fill my head with constant laughter instead of cold silence or harsh words.
Here's to the friends who know how terrible a home can be so they take me in whenever I need.
Here's to the friends who tell me right away if I've done something wrong.
Here's to the friends who know how to communicate.
Here's to the friends that watch The Golden Girls with me and don't ask me to change the channel because they know I've never had a grandmother of my own.
Here's to the friends who don't cancel plans because they get a better offer.
Here's to the friends who keep me going and child like while the world is growing into a cold adult.
Here's to the friends that dream with me and talk as if they will be a reality some day.
Here's to the friends that miss me when I'm gone.
Here's to the friends that understand my love for Shay Mitchell.
Here's to the friends who call me a ******* but join in on the fun anyway.
Here's to the spontaneous road trips,
the unplanned adventures,
the nights with too much alcohol,
and too little food.
Here's to the friends who come over to watch football even though they don't like it but they know you do.
Here's to the friends who don't exclude you on family days but invite you along because you are family.
Here's to the friends who kick my *** when they find a razor in my room because if I want to feel pain they might as well get some fun out of it all.
Here's to the friends that say I'm sorry and mean it.
Here's to the friends that tell me it will be okay and mean it.
Here's to the friends that say I love you and mean it.
Tay and Bianca, you will always be my mains.
 Dec 2013 lina S
Jaimee Michelle
There was a room
There were tons of people
You stood out in the crowd to me
It was a room full of people
When you spoke you caught my attention
Your words rang true to me
I just wanted to talk to you
But, I wasn't looking for more than a good conversation
We both left the crowded room
And went our separate ways

That same night
I walked into a situation I didn't think I'd walk out of
I stared into the face of the devil
He pushed me to my breaking point
Almost broke me
But, I escaped... Barely
But, I remembered you from the room and our talk
So I sent you a message
We began chatting
Just simple innocent talk
At first you didn't even seem interested, and I was desperate  for a distraction from the devil
That was truly it
You eventually warned up and we talked more everyday
I went back to the room and it was the same but, you weren't there
I frowned but went on my way

Then one Friday night everything changed
As awkward as it was, we finally got together
We talked and laughed until 5am
Then you brushed your hand against my leg and let it linger
Trouble was in your eyes with sweet shyness in your smile
If you asked me a year ago on march 19th, if I thought you would ever matter so much to me..
I'd of called you crazy
Our relationship was a worldwind
Good times always fly by
It was over before I had a chance to tell you how much you met to me
You changed my life
You were unlike anyone I'd ever known...
Then you changed

You left
Abrupt
Cold
Full of lies and for her
The messages I read between you and her broke my heart
We were still sleeping in the same bed
But, she was taking my place
I struggled for a clean break
I couldn't stay away and you didn't protest
You weren't with her often, so more you were with me
We became glued at the hip all over again
I still laid on your chest at night
Rubbed your back
Secret kisses
In those moments I'd forgotten
I'd forgotten I was slowly being forgotten, and there was no longer an us
I was so heart broken every time I was without you
The thought of her made me furious
What about her was so great?
How'd she mess up our beautiful painting?
How could you do that, and just let me watch?
How could you end things, beg me to stay, when you knew I wanted to leave?

Your blind eye to everything
Lips sealed when I asked questions
But, you had to know you were calling for my attention just as much
You were just fine being with her
And stringing me along behind her back
If I was worth the risk of you losing her, why wasn't I worth another chance with you?
I pleaded with you all the time
It wasn't enough..
But, I couldn't let you go
I haven't let you go

You changed my life that night I met you in the room
Long talks
Cuddling at the movies
Driving on star filled nights
Listening to you snore slightly beside me at night
Those are all just faded memories now
Just like the night we both shed tears and tightly embraced when you moved away
Distance either breaks you or bring you closer together
It eventually broke us
She moved in with you
You made a choice that shattered us
And we can never be fixed
But, ill never forget
It's been months since I've been in the rooms
But, I often wonder what life would be like
If you hadn't been in the room that night
Or if you'd never spoke
Because if you'd never spoke in that room
My attention you would've never caught
 Dec 2013 lina S
Autumn
June 4th.
this is the day it happened
the very first day
the day I realized  I no longer cared about their topics
the day I realized that I'm no longer me
that im a foreign exchange student in my own body but the thing is I'm not coming back after a year.
I don't even know.
where has everyone gone?
where have I gone?
the confidence in my walk is dripping away so fast,
the actual happiness behind that smile has etched away to nothing
that drive has been mistaken for self infliction
the people I care about have dwindled to oh so few
and
maybe
after this time I will be done.
maybe after this time it will be over
and
I
will
breathe
for
the
F
I
R
S
T
time
in
ages.
.
.
.
.....
I haven't written in a few months I'm rusty
 Dec 2013 lina S
Autumn
the wish
 Dec 2013 lina S
Autumn
running
sprinting
as fast as you can go
oh no don't fall, don't trip
"oh, you stupid **** what's wrong with you?"
breathe.
stop.
breathe.
Don't stop.
keep pushing.
as the oxygen escapes,
your smile is forever eternal,
forever
immortal.
as the life escapes your eyes,
as the breathings comes to a stuttering, slow stop,
your flame dies out.
your light gives way.
the voice is silent.
 Dec 2013 lina S
Autumn
hey
hey?
so why do you care?
about what?
anything at all.  no I mean everything, why do you continue breathing? why do you keep walking? why do you hold you head high while everything's, dark?
I don't that's the thing.
what? I don't understand.
I smile, because its an act of defiance,
I laugh because I wont let them think I care, I let them believe it so that I can not care,  i'm loud because they're comments don't compare to what I say in my mind. what about you? Your not so bad yourself.
I think about leaving and how everyone else will fail.
 Dec 2013 lina S
Autumn
Untitled
 Dec 2013 lina S
Autumn
your flimsy words and pity goodbyes have made his throat raw,
and yet your eyes still seek for that light, that fading away ember to show you, to prove to you,
your petty soul will be missed,
that this **** you take everyday of every moment will end up making a difference,
will change the world someday,
and will not be for absolutely,
nothing.
that it will matter in where you end up,
after the deed is done,
that being the "better" person in the light of someone else's view,
will make you something more than you are all to clearly not.
and maybe your insignificant glare needs,
a never ending "life" of regret,
a "life" where everything is sliding away from you,
and it all
just
fades
away
to an emptiness unbearable to the innocent, naïve, human,
that allows you to see your actions hurt all to many of those you thought you had "loved"
as your "life" is finally proven to you that it was not something at all but in all honesty it was nothing, nothing at all, just a glimpse of an eternity long grimace,
to show you that your pain had no meaning at all,
that in fact if you had been ecstatic you would be in the same place as now,
so why is it
my pitiful friend
do you
believe,
in his "frighteningly" all to similar shade of white as your devils shade of black?
 Dec 2013 lina S
Autumn
I'm starting to learn that what you say or think truly does not matter.
what a relief.
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