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lilpoiein Mar 1
Will we run out of time?
Till death do us part, will we be forever
Hmm, turn around and see it inside out
Take it slow, forever is on our side
Love isn’t measured in seconds, but in how we hold on
God is never in a hurry, don’t get weary
Don’t wait too long to be ready—
We’ll get there, even if it takes our whole life
Do you think we’ll ever fall out like the others?
It’s easier said than done, take a minute
Grace won’t run out, it is patience with time
Now, tell me can you see—
There’s nothing to regret
Mar 1 · 36
Romanticised Intimacy
lilpoiein Mar 1
I dance in the dark, soft lit pulses against my skin
The rush of dopamine I’m into,
The kind of love the world worships—
Feeling good, romantic drama, hangover
And a whole lot of bedtime revenge, fight me!
Swinging to the noisy static of artificial stimulation

Let’s play a game, no rules, no winners
It’s already rigged— chaos
Played it anyway, under the dark eclipse
Alchemy in motion, we tell ourselves,
“You bet, we are in full control”

It’s already ‘25 and we are still here
Push me, chock me ‘till I pass out
Lip-stick stained, soft aesthetic,
Still not outdated, late night fantasy of lies

Let’s be real, nobody can make me feel
Dancing in the moonlit night
Altered reality, the homicide of self
You die, I die— the fall of quick highs

That’s what’s terrifying
Tragedies, I love them anyway
Feb 28 · 109
Untitled
lilpoiein Feb 28
I was too independent and God broke me down, it was isolation and negativity. He can't work in self-reliance, because without him you can do absolutely nothing. God design us to co-depend on community and co- depend on Him. You can be secure and dependent on God. He never created us to walk alone.
Feb 28 · 43
Untitled
lilpoiein Feb 28
Can I hide in a comfy quiet space or with a soft instrumental bgm to read a book or magazine all day? Good food and a cup of ice white coffee. Nice scenery, starburst and sparkles. Date night  with authors and  late night at museums and galleries that open past midnight.
Feb 28 · 34
Untitled
lilpoiein Feb 28
(I)
Weariness my constant guest
Uninvited but settling in my chest
Slowing and thinning me; weak
I wish, somehow this lifeless ghost,
a shadow lingering in my body would drift away from my skin and let me rest.

(II)
Gray mornings
Weariness becomes my companion
Diluted white coffee
Wish you were here with me
Feb 28 · 28
Untitled
lilpoiein Feb 28
TikTok Therapists
Played out a parody in my head
They made me swiped for gags of my sorrow
Millennials would say Tumblr was their therapists,
that’s what he told me
#relate
You will overcome the death of your feelings
Hold on to the future where it only gets better
Feb 28 · 37
Untitled
lilpoiein Feb 28
In the ward
They said I wanted to run away
I told him I was attached
Blurry chaos, scribbling my unorganised thoughts
I was attached to the sound happening inside my head
No one let me go
Feb 28 · 26
Untitled
lilpoiein Feb 28
You live in my mind rent free
You’re wasting my time
Making a mental note to myself,
“Satan comes to ****, steal and destroy”
You come and go
Feb 28 · 20
Untitled
lilpoiein Feb 28
A child in an adult body, senseless, hopeless, fixed mindset. Destine for self-sabotaged, defined by mediocrity. Stuck in a loop, bound to the past. Chained to their own haunted thoughts, weighing them down in the trapped of replayed memories. Unable to break free; no vision of the future.
Feb 28 · 27
Untitled
lilpoiein Feb 28
When they don’t want to love themselves.
When they are in the mood, they think they love.
When they can’t see love.
It’s hard to love when there is nothing lovely.
You love the parts they can’t see for themselves.
You love because you had your share of love.
Not to fix them.
But to be there for them,
Just to show love.
Feb 28 · 28
Untitled
lilpoiein Feb 28
The ocean waves, a cloudy breeze, feeling blue.
I’ll picture us, beach towel on soft sand, just us two. Paint my mind with colours, don’t let it fade.
It can make my day, we might never be together.
I’ll imagine your love in the air, captured in this moment. Somewhere in the grand design— maybe, just maybe the universe and cosmo are pulling us closer.
Feb 28 · 22
Heartbreak Anniversary
lilpoiein Feb 28
If we are being real
The world stood still
Heartbreak anniversary

I will stand by you
I will stand by you

I’ll never get used to your two-minds
Telling myself, “I won’t go there”
Running from the distance
Pacing myself, “it’s the last time”

I take the peach pill
And you take the same
Pills of unsatisfaction

On this day that we both meet
I got you and you got my back
I’ll find us out-and-out accompany

Maybe I lost my mind
I can’t do that anymore
Or do I even want to try anything new?

Life moves so fast, black letter day
Yet you’ve been with me for my whole **** life
Jan 30 · 55
Untitled
lilpoiein Jan 30
I listens to white noise like l'm in an airplane, It keeps me safe. I travel through space, like bubbles in air. I switch off to airplane mode, the mode to get away to be with you.
lilpoiein Jan 30
The Lord said I don't want you to just achieve your goals, I want to commune with you every day. I want you to be in my presence daily. I want you to seek me and love me. I want fellowship. Christ work has brought restoration to communion with God and man. Emmanuel, Emmanuel, God with us.
Jan 30 · 131
Untitled
lilpoiein Jan 30
Don’t look back, because they gonna hold you back. What you can’t do in the past, doesn’t define what you can do in the future.
lilpoiein Aug 2024
Everything is embarrassing
You’re always at the back of my mind
I almost died of embarrassment

Everything that you’ve experienced was not the real experience of who I am
I’ve been wanting to tell you what you’ve experienced but it never happened

I never had the chance
I am sorry for our loss and I know we could never turned back in time
But if you ever wants to connect again,
You are in it for a wild story, maybe another podcast.
#mentalhealth
Jul 2024 · 78
Exodus 33:15
lilpoiein Jul 2024
Took a break from life
Because life almost took me away
Now I’m moving along again
It was draining when I had to pause
Because it never happened before
It felt like a crash a sudden abrupt stop
I was left alone and lost
But after 3 years I found life again
The life God gave me in 2003
And now everyday I just want to go only if he’s with me.
Jul 2024 · 75
Core
lilpoiein Jul 2024
We are not the center of our Universe.
You are not at the center of it all.
Jesus Christ should take center of it all.
He holds all things together.
He’s the true center of it all.
lilpoiein Jul 2024
Music was very much part of my life
I grew up with a Walkman and a mp3 player
I listens to my parents favourite songs
It brought me through places
It played the right beat at the right time
It hid me in low times
And it even brought me to my lowest point in life
When I was feeling high and unconscious
It was quite a journey
I almost gave up on music but it saved me again
Jul 2024 · 66
Ew
lilpoiein Jul 2024
Ew
We just cannot clicked,
We are just blood related,
That’s fine, we don’t have to live in relation to each other.
What’s the point, we never changed for the other.
What’s the point, if you’ve never been there to raise me up or to see me grow up.
Anyway it doesn’t changed the past,
And I don’t have any hope for our future.
lilpoiein Jul 2024
You don't have to.
Stop.

Your value is not
In your work,
In your past,
In your finance,
In your relationship.

You don't have to earn anything,
Your being is your value.

You are loved without
any works of your own.
Jul 2024 · 80
Untitled
lilpoiein Jul 2024
I am not self-made.
I am God-made.
I belong in Christ.
Apr 2024 · 103
Sucks for me
lilpoiein Apr 2024
My home is a mess
literally and emotionally
I think my dad secretly hates me
Just like how I’ve hated my dad all these while
Absent father, no emotional support
My mother care too much, and always invalidates my emotions and experiences
What’s the point of giving birth,
If you’re not going to support the child?
Why was I even born into this unhealthy family
***** for me
Mar 2024 · 73
Untitled
lilpoiein Mar 2024
I can.
I am creative.
I can create.
Mar 2024 · 61
Untitled 3
lilpoiein Mar 2024
I declare I’m a masterpiece.
If you say so, so it will be.
Only your truth matters.
PTL.
Mar 2024 · 163
New beginning
lilpoiein Mar 2024
My 20s is ending.
I did nothing to savour it.
I was chasing and I rolled down a hill.
Haha… at least I could laugh it off…

I was caught off guard.
I need new alignments.
30s would be a brand new start.
Literally.
Nov 2023 · 296
DDI29
lilpoiein Nov 2023
Baby steps
It’s not a game
It’s not a race
It’s a at your own pace
Kinda path
Relax and don’t overthink
Nov 2022 · 3.0k
Wasn’t me
lilpoiein Nov 2022
I kept thinking that was me
But that wasn’t me
That wasn’t me
Who was I then
If that wasn’t me

I couldn’t comprehend
I couldn’t come to terms

It felt so real, all the thoughts
All the imagination, it felt like me

But it wasn’t me
Apr 2022 · 154
Highs
lilpoiein Apr 2022
Ah yes!
I couldn’t maintain the highs
The waves of the low hits me hard
I couldn’t hold it together
And it kept trying to take me away
I almost…
Apr 2022 · 144
Okay
lilpoiein Apr 2022
When I’m okay
Time will tell
Maybe when I stop reminiscing my old self

Slowly slowly
When I’m okay
Good or no good also passed already
Feb 2022 · 647
Affirmation Day
lilpoiein Feb 2022
Repeat after me:
Feb 2022 · 302
Fluffy
lilpoiein Feb 2022
They say dreams are clouds
Evaporates
Fluffy and just nice to look at
Dec 2021 · 454
Phase 3
lilpoiein Dec 2021
Out of my comfort zone
Where is my safest place

Unwind and slow down
Catch yourself on
Tell yourself kind words

Antidepressants episodes
Staying afloat
Dec 2021 · 338
Ask for help
lilpoiein Dec 2021
Self love
Self care
Reminder
The topic all over again
A healing journey

2 weeks medical leaves
Taking time off to recalibrate

For your best interests
Articulate your experience
And emotions
Jun 2021 · 156
Psychosis
lilpoiein Jun 2021
Irrational thoughts
Lost inside my head

Paranoid, delusional, hallucinations
Something really bad

A few episodes
Living with voices
Talking to them

Electroconvulsive therapy
Controlling, something is lost

Wanna keep talking about it
Never the same as before
I want back myself

Pain, trauma, suicidal
Sometimes moving on
Thinking of a new start
Sometimes stuck in the same cycle
Dec 2019 · 148
ilysb
lilpoiein Dec 2019
It's the time of the day again,
do not disturb the mode
I can get away with
and stay in with no one

Days like this
I live a slower pace,
the intimacy is mine
and I have vague plans

I set the mood with
my love-making playlist,
"grown-up lullaby"
laid-back and mellow beats,
lately is what I'm into

(private conversation)
Don't tell me, "I love you" do I love you

It's a safe space here

Long-term benefits,
so multidimensional just me
and what's on my mind

God knows I swear
and everything is alright
Mar 2019 · 173
Untitled 2
lilpoiein Mar 2019
I am your work of art.
Your masterpiece.
Jun 2018 · 198
hiatus for 365
lilpoiein Jun 2018
covers of clouds
i'm still blooming
it's still midsummer madness
(10 words)
Jan 2017 · 548
hand-made paper boat
lilpoiein Jan 2017
The wind blew
The paper boat sailed
I did not hold back
And you let it sail...
Jan 2017 · 466
Untitled
lilpoiein Jan 2017
We couldn't enjoy long silence together.
We couldn't enjoy long distance together.
We couldn't enjoy the idea of love altogether.
Jan 2017 · 614
Untitled
lilpoiein Jan 2017
I wish you see through me. Like looking beneath the water. All you see was the reflection you picked up from the surface of the water. Nothing you see is quite like me. Needlessly, nothing was done for a deeper plunge.
Jan 2017 · 397
Untitled
lilpoiein Jan 2017
We couldn't grow together.
I am like wheat.
You are like ****.
Dec 2016 · 619
No new year
lilpoiein Dec 2016
Every month is a new month.
Everyday is a new day.
lilpoiein Dec 2016
We are only as close as we allow.
It's true we've gotten closer and it's true we will never be together.
It's true; Love is the ultimate unreasonable activity.

It's adorably cruel.
Dec 2016 · 406
What can I do but dream
lilpoiein Dec 2016
One glance and you can see my dreams arranged admirably on my bookshelf in such a way that it looks like it's only for display. As of now.

As of now, a collector of dreams.
Some people say, never to tell your dreams...
As of now, I'm tired of dreaming.
Some people say, you will never wake up from your tired dreams...
As of now, dream on
Dec 2016 · 372
I pretentiously water you
lilpoiein Dec 2016
I am a flower.
A decorative.
In a corner of a room.
I am a vein plant.
I have a purpose.
To be aesthetic.

You see me alive.
You see me well.
I don't die.
I am plastic.

I know you.
You only want me to be a still art.
A silent watch.
In a corner of a room.
Dec 2016 · 299
Private reading
lilpoiein Dec 2016
I live a private life.
Everything I say is a private thing.

The more you know about me,
The more you don't want to know about me,
The more you don't know about me,
The more you want to know about me,

You almost know me and that is a scary thing.
Most people don't read far.
Most people won't pick me up again.

Most people think is,
Weird mystery, weird music, weird everything.

Place me on your fancy bookshelf.
Dec 2016 · 323
You little shit
lilpoiein Dec 2016
Those loverlike they ran away.
Such is a foul play of fondness.
Such is a psychological rebellious.
Such is a complicatarded relationshit.
Oct 2016 · 244
Untitled
lilpoiein Oct 2016
You make me breathe too hard
You make me stop breathing

You make me breathe too deep
You make me love to hate
You make me cry and hurt too deep
You make me fall deep
You make me anticipate on ground zero

You make me sick
You make me work for love
You make me tired

You make me hate to love
Oct 2016 · 406
A foul play of fondness
lilpoiein Oct 2016
They found a quaint vacation spot.
They felt so much like something but of only a microscopic vision; through their idealist imagination it was so much of a grandeur encounter.

Feel too much but your presence still disappear. Troubled naked eyes; stop acting so curious. Stop being mysterious. The bloodshed love, your psychological fears. A close heuristic encounter.

Those loverlike they ran away.
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