I wanted to write
a letter
put all my feelings
no color could describe

I wanted to write
a letter
and tell how much
I cried
at nights

I wanted to write
a letter
and shout all
the love and pain
I couldn't tell
you

I couldn't,
I wouldn't
because I know
I shouldn't.

I just wanted
to write
you
in a letter
fold it in a half,
seal it

and then
leave it there

between the pages
of the most
painful lines
of my old
fave book

-to remind me that
this story - our story
wouldn't take its risk
to reach the happy
ending.

I want to see you smile
and collect all feelings
it will give
put it in my pocket
and keep it
there
forever.

We are written
in a script
full of scenes
performed by actors
and actresses
inside us

we laugh
we cry
we face the spot
and act

at the end
every hand claps

all the praises and salute
on what the naked eyes
have seen

I wrote a story
with an ending not so well.
For the main that I have chosen
chose to leave the chapter.

And so I had no choice
but to close the book
and put it on a shelf
where it truly belonged.

Until one windy day,
a clean sheet of paper
blown by the wind
sat on my lonely den.

And right there
I gave birth to two:
prose and poetry
they call them.

One I nurture for long lasting,
the other makes me lost in a while.

both of them
I found
in a new main
I won't get tired of
writing all my
new beginnings with.

Love came
to heal
an old scar concealed

only to bleed
again

in hopes
of stitches
from thread
in loops.

You are may black crayon

the one I always use
to paint
my darkest nights.

the only color
that could match
through all my
messy moods.

the one I always
run at
when all that is visible
are most painful
in the eyes.

You were so certain
of what kind of gift
you wanted to receive
that you focused more
on the wrappings;
you missed all chances
of seeing the significance
of the inside.

And so flames
hath turned one to ash
while the other
still fights its light

One begged to live
while the other held to love

Please do enlighten
this wander'ng soul

Who keeps on blaze-
burning herself within
for the one
she once had taken an oath
in flames.

You burned me
to melt desire
and left me
an ice frozen
heart.

Now I'm afraid
I'd break
into river flow
of pain.

Wanna know why it hurts
to love?

because we let our
world revolve
around the thought
of it.

Have a life,
dear.

Have a life...

Which one's the fastest?

-Light.

My Science teacher told me that.

Though he never warned me
about what comes next.

Now I hear nothing
but thunders inside-
like a hammer nailing
my chest.

The same sound
I am left with
on rainy days.

She swam as if she was to fly
Up the world she'd never been
The water smells as if it's air
Beneath the pain she felt inside.

Oh how cunning life could be
For her to love and be
The curse of someone's grief
And cry alone in waves

Where she was a cast out
With her red brilliant tail
Under the cold dark corner
Of her lil newly polished room.

We rarely question
why chained doors exist
when we see one
never bothered to knock
for we know no one would open

so dearest,
why mourn for a closure
when we see it
unto someone's?

wasn't the chain
a reason to walk away
already?

It's when you learned
how to let go
of all dusts
that makes you fill
your jar with stars.

I never knew it
until I've seen
an entire galaxy
thru his eyes.

Let's end it here
from that first moment
we exchanged our hellos
to that last teardrop
we held on goodbye

and with all
of our collected stars
let's find our clearest coast
away from each other...

towards the versions
we wanted for each other.

So have our first step
and let's end us here.

Thought I'd be happy
settling as petals
when flowers bloom
humans would love
but all hands wicked
they pick and let me wither
and so I'm always left
to lament all my deaths.

Thought I'd be happy
living as a vibrant leaf
in winds I sway
to humans I am life
but gravity can't be defied
I had no choice
but to let all go
and so with rocks I'd lay
and learned to take a rest.

Grow in places thy universe
hath planted thee in.
Hold thy roots to the ground;
nourish thy leaves through the sun.

Bloom and bear fruits,
and let those in need take all of thee-

thy fruits to the hungry,
thy blossoms to those who love,
thy leaves to the breathing,
thy seeds to the soil.

Until then,
the new thee thy old roots
were rooting for

shall sprout.

Had I've known
silence were your
warning signs..

I wouldn't had let
myself drowned
by my loudest pain.

for while I shed my silent cries
you quietly cut deep wounds within.

Once, you let
someone fill you
with joy
no one could have
done,
you've got
ten thousand
different feelings,
you honestly couldn't
contain the rest.


Stupid heart beats
foolish magnets
you lost the count

You were filled;
unaware of the wave
that'll drown you...

you were filled

to be

empty
.
lost
.
alone

She held back for reasons
she had tried to count
and at last,
she saw the borders,
the lines
that ceased
the fear she kept
her anchored feet.

Yeah, she was afraid
she might lose
herself- the empire
she built within for years-
the gravity that keeps
the balance in her.

until she realized...

how at some point
breaking an empire
is the only way
to rebuild its damages

and facing imbalances
is the only way
to regain the center.

He was my sunset;
the kind of home
I embrace after all tiring days,
the one I would always
give my admirations with

He was my sunset;
the warmth I am calmed with
the one I would always
run at after all stormy threats

He was my sunset;
the reason why I breathe
in between all the saddest endings.

And when he fights and loses
against all his darkness,
I would still look at him
with all the adorations I could give
even if I see
only shadows of his love.

So much stories to read
and ours is my fave
to tell

Sometimes I whip
through it
but most
I ponder to live.

Neither of us
had given a warning sign

And perhaps that's the reason
why we both ended
with aches and scars.

I lost the love
I thought I deserved
until it came
in a form of something
I wasn't expecting
it would be.

Now I'm crying
in a form of tears
I haven't shed
before.

day and night
rain or shine
from the beginning
'til the end,

you are my
most fave page.

Perhaps I was raised
to be a peasant
merchant;

fated to buy
faith in trade
of hope,

to purchase attention
in trade of fame,

and to avail love
in trade of happiness.

I was at ease
by the sea shore
wind kissing my skin
sand on my feet
when a sudden flash
of waves came
one,
I lost my breath
two,
the wind hath stopped
three,
all sands in freeze
four,
I only see him
five,
five stupid butterflies
came
and bothered
my own
peaceful
paradise

we were like
crazy species
inloved.

I wrote your name
on a piece of paper
folded it like a boat
and let it go
along the water
under the rain.

I used to love
how these tiny drops
kissed my skin,
but today's wind's
far different from
the ions brought
by the breeze

For along with that
little paper boat
I've made

are the hopes
of
you
and
me.

Maybe the reason why we feel lonely is the same reason why we were happy.

Mine was
and will always be

You.

Kept myself busy on daylights
to not get drowned
by the waves of missing you.

But when the night falls,
the story changes

and I wait for
another sun to rise.

I silently wished
upon a shooting star
for that love
I truly deserved;
the moon silently watched
and thru wind he whispered

"You don't have to."

for the sun hath fin'lly granted

and when the clouds hath finished
its mourn,
I had found you-
beneath those loud
comforting rains.

I used to envy spiders
for having that marvelous power
of creating homes without windows and doors.

for nothing could remind them
how painful it is
when someone leaves.

And I couldn't help
but feel amazed
by how they trap insects
and leave not a single debris.

I sleep to escape
but even in dreams
you remind me
of what pains.

I mistook you for a home
so I made myself a comfort
only to realize
no person could be rebuilt
when he breaks down
and stumbles
nor could be run at
when rains start pouring.

Humans aren't supposed
to be called homes.

No home walks away when you
need it the most.

No home can be as cruel as them.