The mess is living in my head.
Another step, and I'll be dead.
Should I care?
No, I won't dare!
I won't admit that it has won,
That it has broken wall of stone,
That I am sick, that I am weak,
Emotional, but useless freak.
Inside me all I find is aches
Of my high morals that were precious
To my once full of sweetness heart
That with my hands I've teared apart.
I sympathize only strength
That vanishes inside his depth.
Maybe, the feeling that I cover
For him kills any another.
That's why I am blind, that's why I'm cold,
That's why I leave myself untold.
I wish I could return back time
To know where have I passed the line,
When have I lost myself and how?!
But play is over, I'll take a bow.

The blindness that I live inside
Cuts my dreams like an acute knife.
There's no escape from being lost
Between the values of life-cost.
Once I have tried to find the place
Where I belong, define my race,
The disappointment sinked in my
Yet not matture, but still held high
My childish head, my simple thoughts,
My being, daydreams. Barking shots
Have killed my hopes of joyful youth.
I have been prisoned in the truth,
Cruel reality of wars,
Unbreakable and racist walls.
Why does the World still keep its silence
While orphaned children sink in violence
Of the unknown enemy who came
To their land, but they're the ones to blame?
This enemy has broken heart;
He says that he was teared apart,
And now the shadows of the pain
Turn to a fire-pouring rain
That falls on the heads of those
Who have never stepped that close
To death, that they have never caused,
But to resistance are now forced.
My dear enemy, I have found myself
With serial number on your "victims shelf";
I have found myself between the lines
Of ones whose lives have been turned to lies
By social media of yours,
That eats your food and wears your clothes.
The World is now controlled by the charming sound
Of tingling money in pockets of the croud,
This greedy power leads to blinding ray
Of darkness that cuts my dreams every single day.

Cold fingers softly press on my neck.
Now I realize - there's no going back.
Another wrong move, and my bones will crack
Under your pressure, please, let me go back

To our peaceful beginning and countless smiles,
To hopes that we held, yet not bitter goodbyes.
No misunderstandings, by beauty veiled lies.
Where is that time when we yet didn't hear cries?

My fingers on yours, I'm trying to loose,
Reduce your sweet envy, maybe I will confuse
Your thoughts, and your heart, but it now can't choose
Between love and envy, now I will lose

Just give me the chance to breathe in your air!
My lungs thirst for life, but it fades in nowhere...
You pass your cold fingers through my wet hair,
Last light dies in my eyes. You do not care.

About my strong feelings,  about what I need
You work for your own sake, put poisonous seed
In my soul it groes into black rose of greed,
Your pride gets it's food, and I get to bleed.

Will I ever let go, and find my own will?
It's not you who holds on, but I'm holding still.
I ask you for ******, don't care if you'll ****,
**** me now, in this moment,  and it is MY will!

You won't read me;
Between my lines
There are secrets in disguise.

You won't read me;
Won't face my truth,
Early screams of my bright youth.

You won't read me;
There's a code
Once it's solved, dreams will explode.

You won't read me;
In my soul
Hides a dark and endless hole.

You won't read me;
Nor will I...
My book sleeps peacefully in sky.