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 Jun 2013 Leelan Farhan
AJ
It bothers me that sand can hold my weight.
Sand is tiny.
Each grain is insignificant.
Yet it somehow finds billions of other tiny, insignificant grains just like it.
And they can do things I can not.
It makes me feel jealous, and even more insignificant than the sand.
I hate the sand.
So does the water.
That's why it continues to drown it.
It doesn't work, but it keeps trying.
Someone needs to tell the water that it can't drown the sand.
Someone needs to tell me that I can't drown the sand.
Someone needs to tell the sand that it can't walk on water.
Someone needs to tell me that I can't walk on water.
 Jun 2013 Leelan Farhan
Tessa F
Ask me impossible questions
Request things of me you know I cannot do
And tell me dreams I can't fulfill for you.
Scream at me when things go wrong
Vent to me your deepest pains
Lean all of your weight on me
And then leave me out in the cold.
I am at your disposal darling,
Nothing you do could push me away.
Because pain in this world is inevitable
And goodbyes are sometimes the hardest things
But we do have some choice in who hurts us.
Through the good and the bad and the beautiful and the difficult,
Sweetheart it has been a privilege to love you.
"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices." - John Green
 Jun 2013 Leelan Farhan
JR
beautiful boy with deep green eyes
a hidden river of hurt and lies
cover me up with your sweet smile
a kiss on the cheek to last me a while

lovely boy with eyes so blue
I wish I could give myself to you
lay by your side in fields so sweet
filled with the sound of our heartbeat

handsome boy with the darkest of eyes
not a thing of you do I despise
your sweet laughter and tender words
are the loveliest things I've ever heard

- j.r.
I plucked a splinter from my heart
As the past began to leak-
Before clumping up against the sore
And trickling down my feet.

I exhaled the bitter, salty air,
And coughed and heaved my loss
For my lungs could only hold their share
As long as I paid the cost.

I cornered you with words, tonight,
And wailed out against the moon-
While anger poured from every noun
Falling dormant upon my tomb.

You thought I mixed it up, somehow,
Between the trembling blame,
As you coiled up upon the sound
That harshly sang your name.

I burried up my bitter soul
Beneath some shards of glass,
And planted a new world right there,
Atop a hidden past.

I crossed my t's, and said my alms
To your sweet and sickly lord.
I held my voice from trembling,
So my distress would not be heard.

I washed my wounds with holiness
Drained from the city streets,
Cleansing myself of all that feels,
For acceptance comes as defeat.

I sat there in the dark, that night,
As I painted out my life
Upon the shores of an indifferent sea,
Unscarred by wisdom's knife.

Oh, do you see the butterfly
That's shriveled against the pane
Of a dusty, concealed windowsill-
Never to see light again.
Your spirit is that of a flower child,
With dandelion dreams in your heart.
Your personality is your canvas,
Truly a work of art.

I want to help pollinate your dreams,
Flowing in the breeze of change.
You deserve the harvest of success,
That comes from anything in range.

Your voice is a song from the past,
Full of passion and harmonic bliss.
The only instrument needed is love,
A symphony will come from a kiss.

Nothing else I could say would suffice,
For you deserve everything and more.
I could dedicate the world to you,
But that would never even the score.
HEAR THE COMPLETED SONG HERE:
https://soundcloud.com/nataliejcopeland/you-said*

You said, “Why’d you fold my clothes?
I don’t want anyone
taking care of me.”
You turned back to your razor,
ignoring
the sick-stained sheets.

You said, “Let’s just watch tv.
I don’t know anyone
when I’m asleep.”
You turned back to the wall,
ignoring
the two empty feet.

But that wasn’t where
the worst
pain
was felt,
Cuz I didn’t think
that my warm
heart
could melt
All the icy hands
That her cold heart
had dealt.
But then you said,
“That’s all broken.”
And you said,
“That’s all dead.”

You said “I can’t love again.
I don’t want anyone
wrapped up in my fate.”
Well, we turned back to our peaches,
ignoring
how we knew I would wait.

They said, “Is that your pretty girlfriend?”
And you said, “She’s so pretty…”
And that was the end
Cuz we turned back into clowns,
ignoring
the message we sent.

If you wanna know
the worst
pain
I felt
It’s when I lost hope that
my warm
heart
could melt…
Cuz the final blow
that cracked my world
was dealt
When you said…
When you said..
When you said…
When you said…
…. Nothing.

You said, “I’ll still be your friend
When he comes sweepin’ you
offa your feet.”
You put out your cigarette,
ignoring
my tears on the street.
HEAR THE COMPLETED SONG HERE:
https://soundcloud.com/nataliejcopeland/you-said
 Jun 2013 Leelan Farhan
Tessa F
I don't need to dress up
To feel good about myself,
But I sure do like the way
Your eyes sparkle
When you look at me.
 Jun 2013 Leelan Farhan
dr Jade
This is the last tear I would shed for you
I don't have any tears left in me anymore
The depths of my pain go beyond crying
Aching and throbbing as I bled

All I wanted was a little kindness
A little compassion, a little acknowledgement
It was a mistake on my part
To even consider you capable of any

You told me  I was worthless
A waste of time, A waste of oxygen
You repeated it like a mantra
Cursing my existence
Until I, too, believed it to be true

You were systematic in your hatred
You abused my body, my mind, my soul
You attacked me incessantly until I shattered
Now an empty, broken vessel of the person I once was

You cannot hurt me any more than this
You've taken all I have and more
I have nothing else to lose
I simply don't care anymore

So I close my eyes, and let go
Of the final breath I had been holding onto
As I welcomed the cold night, the darkness
...


...I hope I've finally made you happy now.
A sudden crescendo of dizziness,
no- more like a huge head rush;
Face goes numb.
Legs feel weak,
hands appear to be miles away,
cold sweat. Can't focus.
Unable to breathe comfortably.
Do I even still have a pulse?
Am I dreaming?

Everything starts slipping into Void;

Everything blurs together, slows down, echos...
first motions, then colors, finally sounds
and then there's the overwhelming urge the sleep.
To close my eyes and just let it all go.
To drift off.. as if downstream..
down the river of experience.

I fitfully try to think to myself:
is this how it feels to die?
Am I dying? Am I already dead?
Am I dreaming?
Have I been my whole life?
Am I waking up?

The calmest panic I've ever known:

I willingly let go
and slip downstream into nothingness,
but I keep snapping out of it;
So far, anyway.

Maybe my purpose is yet incomplete;
maybe I'm taking it too personally
maybe I'm just lucky,
or maybe I'm insane.

In any case,
Death can be such a tease.
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